folkooc | Monthly Texts From Last Night Meme

well, i mean, there was the hot emo boy first, who was decidedly not a blood diamond. and was actually hot. 30/10 would let him rock my shop again.

and then
so.
remember that talk we had about 'don't put your dick in crazy'?

...
i have some regrets, hoshi-chan

You know I probably shouldn't be surprised. Glad you had at least one positive experience.

How crazy are we talking? Stalker level, Fan boy, or worse?

thank you! me too!

uh
both?
i'm kinda letting him, tho.
he'll probably love you too, if he meets you.
he loves ultimates.

i slept with him bc i thought he was cute and he makes me feel a lot of emotions most of them confusing

Well that's your first mistake then. You shouldn't have sex with someone unless you pin down how you feel for them first.

Flings are fine if you know that they're flings, but if it's more than that you have to be aware of it before you get in too deep. The other person could have a different view entirely of what your relationship is.

Also I'm not the Ultimate Tennis Pro anymore, so he shouldn't if that's the criteria. Anyway. What did you feel around him? Maybe we can work out what confused you.

my dick said gogogo tho hoshi-chan the dick doth protest too much

I don't think it's a fling either. I...think it's many things. But not that.

And you still kind of are. You're not just AN ultimate. You're TWO ultimates. He just likes talent in general...so the Ultimate Tennis Pro and Ultimate Prisoner is even more impressive than me, maybe.

As for how I feel...I don't know. He doesn't treat himself like a normal person treats themselves. He demeans himself regularly and caters to whatever I want. I get mad at him and I wanna scream but I also want him to feel better about himself and...and he's nice when he has his head on straight. He remembers things about me that I don't even remember about me. He's impulsive, and dumb, and deserves to think better about himself...but I also lied about my organization getting remade because he love love loves those talents, and without that, I'm just...not much.
I dunno.
I don't hate him.

How can you even be an Ultimate Prisoner? Being confined like that isn't really a talent. It was probably just Monokuma's way of messing with me.

Anyway. First off, you're not "not much" without your organization. If you still count me as the Ultimate Tennis Pro after how long I've spent without even touching a racket? You're just as much an Ultimate Supreme Leader without an organization. He'll probably still like you regardless.

And for the guy, he kind of sounds weird with the talent fixation, but it seems like you're teetering between infatuation and genuine feelings, but his personal problems are barring you from making that jump because you're worried about him. Sound about right?

I dunno man you tell me it was your talent.

...I'm a liar, Hoshi-chan. That's...I don't know. I'm not the most secure person, you know. I hate showing weakness. I hate admitting I'm not a Supreme Leader. I didn't even ever have some grand organization, I'd..
...
I'd rather tell you about that in person, but anyway...

[Then he sees that last bit of that message and implodes a little.]

ryoma i dont get infatuatedddddd
idonthavegenuinefeelingsimaliar
fihbfjhkf

[Various car crash noises.mp3 is the best way to describe his mind]

...
I am worried about him, though, yeah. Even if I had those feelings, there's a lot to unpack first. But let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

It's not like he's Momota-chan or Saihara-chan, where I could just own up to that kind of thing easily because they're ideal anyway and they'd improve me, rather than me trying to help someone else...

[He just spouts that last part easily out without thinking.]

Always thought you had a thing for Saihara. Momota's a little surprising, but I can see it.

[Yeah, he had to tease about that at least a little bit]

You're only proving me right with that reaction, y'know. But if you need help I can try to. I may not be interested in anything for myself, but I do think you deserve a chance to be happy with someone.

And Kokichi? Liar or not, you have feelings. I've known that since day one. We can talk more about the organization thing later, but I wanted to say that.

shut uuuuuuuuup of course i wanted both of them one of them is cute, smart, sensitive, and emo and the other is tall, kind, endearingly dumb, and has nice abs
of course i was into both of them its just after you
left
dumb miss murderer got in the way of my himbo pursuits hmph

....mmm. You deserve to be happy too, you know. Maybe not happy in the sense of having a romantic relationship, but...happy in being content with yourself, you know.

and I
...
I wanted people to hate me. Everyone knew I had feelings, everyone just...didn't know those weren't malicious.

Y'know. You weren't in the room when I said it, but I warned 'em it didn't seem like you intended to make it out of there alive, same as me.

I don't think I've ever been less enthusiastic to be right.

Anyway, I don't know if I want to be happy. I saw going to prison as being the end of the line. Nothing that happened to me after that mattered because my days were numbered. I'm not really sure what this place's deal is yet but... I can't accept it that easily. It'll probably be a while yet if that's what you want from me.

Hell, I'm not even sure what would make me happy.

...

It's something that Shuichi said that still kinda...haunts me, you know. You weren't around by this point. A lot of people weren't. But...I devoted the rest of my life to trying to end the killing game. I ironed in the fact that I was a villain.

Kaito eventually started getting bad. He was sick. He refused to let anyone know that, because you know how he was. Big strong space hero. Can't let anyone see him weak. He was suffering, and so was I. So I kept pressing his buttons. Eventually, he lashed out at me. And then he started feeling bad again. Everyone rushed to help him, even if he was the one who tried to punch me.

It slipped, for a second. My mask. I got upset. Because deep down I wanted to be cared about, too. I won't forget it. I said...Hey, why are you all worried about this pathetic guy?

Shuichi immediately swerved around and cut me off.

Pathetic? Look at yourself, Kokichi. Kaito always has us by his side, see? But no one wants to be around you. You're alone, Kokichi. And you always will be.

...It wasn't because someone said that to me, you know. If Maki had said that, I would've laughed in her face. If Kiibo had said that, I would've been surprised he had the robo-balls to fucking say it. It was because Shuichi said it.

And...I laughed it off. At the time, I just kinda tried to dust it off. Laughed about who wants to have friends and called it boring and made a face and ran off. If he hated me so much to say that, my plan was working, wasn't it?

....
I still ended up crying in my room after that.
I did care about him, you know?
I guess that might be kind of ironic for you to hear. Given your motive video.

I'm not sure if I want to be happy, either. If I deserve to be. I'm not sure what would make me happy, either.
I can't accept this place easily either, but my coping method is to do the stupidest shit possible and let the pieces fall where they may because I've been planning for so long that I'm tired, and even now I can't

I can't fucking sleep right.

So I might just be filling my time with sex now to cope. The touch of another human being is nice, and it's by dumb luck I've avoided getting taken advantage of. I might be filling it with booze eventually. No one's gonna stop me. I might fill it with both, or whatever comes to mind, because I am an unstoppable force, and you're an immovable object.

We're both alone, Hoshi-chan.
We're the same. We killed people. We died. We got consequences for it. We both never asked for this to keep going, but it is. We'd probably be happier if Shuichi and Kaito were here in place of us, but we're here.
I'm just better at hiding everything.
I have to be.
I'm a liar, after all.

[The familiar mental link, however, is certified proof he's not lying. He's crying.]

Well, I'm gonna have to have a chat with Shuichi if he ends up here, clearly. Momota aside, he shouldn't have said something like that. I know it wasn't about what was said, but still.

[There's a pause]

I doubt my words mean too much given what I've said about myself. In the end the only one who decides what you do is you, but I do think you deserve to be happy. And it's okay to take time getting to the point you can figure out how to be in spite of everything.

...

That said I don't think those methods will help you. Drinking doesn't fix anything, and neither does sex, really. They both tend to just... fill the void temporarily. I can at least try to stop you, if nothing else.

I'm heading over. Can't promise anything but it's better than being alone at night with your thoughts. I know very well what that does to people.

...What're ya gonna do, find a rifle and stare him down? Neeheehee. That's scary~

[At least that made him smile a little bit.]

If you think I deserve to be happy, then I think you deserve to be happy, too.

And yeah...that was a lie. Don't get me wrong, I'll drink wine every now and then. And I'm fine fooling around with guys if they're nice to me, if I'm not committed, and if they're at least a solid 8/10, but I don't want to become like Iruma-chan. That's not the lifestyle for me.

Can you really call it heading over if your bedroom is a door down from mine? But yeah, my door's not locked.

[He's just sitting on his bed, his legs curled up. He's just wearing a purple t-shirt that reads 'PANTA' on it and his red-and-yellow 'trendy' boxers. If Ryoma peeks in, he's visible in the darkness of the room, mostly because his silver halo crown never stops shimmering, and he cries glitter tears so there's some glitter still on his face.]

[Ryoma read the texts, merely giving a soft huff in response. He figured the bit about drinking was mostly his frustration talking, but he'd rather take a potential issue like that at face value lest Kokichi get the impression he wouldn't care. He doesn't text back if only because he's at Kokichi's door by the time he's finished reading.]

[It seems as though the waterworks have subsided for now, or else Kokichi willed them to stop since he was coming over, one of the two. Either way he wasn't going to back down here. He gives two light knocks on the door to announce his presence before slipping inside, careful not to catch his tail as he shuts the door behind him]

For the record, I'm pretty sure I'd scare him more with a racket and ball. He knows I'm deadly with those.

[It's a joke, he tells himself, but it twists his stomach a little to say it anyway. He wants to believe at least some of the others knew he wouldn't do something like that again.]

[He dismisses the intrusive thoughts and makes his way over to Kokichi, hopping up onto the edge of his bed to sit with him. It's hard to go further than that. Hard to let someone that close to him again for multiple reasons, but he pushes through it. This isn't about him right now. He scoots back and offers an arm to Kokichi. To hell with the glitter, he's more than used to it by now.]

I did want to mention one more thing though, about what you said before...

You're not really alone anymore. You've got people like me here that care about you, so Saihara's already wrong about that.

[Kokichi most definitely willed himself to stop crying. His expression is amused at that response, cackling a little in that faux-evil way he was always so used to doing.]

Ahahahaha! Shumai gets hit in the face for being mean to me! See, this is a reason why it's good for you to be around, Hoshi-chan! No one else could be bamboozled by the sensitive feelings of the Ultimate Supreme Leader like you!

[He made that sound a lot more...bombastic than it actually was. What that actually translated to is I'm glad you're around to protect me, even if I won't admit it.

Ryoma hops up onto his bed, and he puts his phone to the side.]

[The next offer, however, is met with visible surprise. Kokichi blinks, meeting his eyes silently as if to say you sure? since he's more than aware that Ryoma has his sensitivities with being close to people. Even if they're pledged as familiar and Legend, that perhaps even makes him more aware.

Still...he finds it difficult to refuse.

And those next words...]

[Well, there he goes. The waterworks are back when he crawls over and snuggles into Ryoma's embrace. He can't help it. Globby, sparkly tears roll down his cheeks. It's one of those moments - those rare moments that Kokichi loathed and kept to himself when words would just not come out of his mouth and it feels pathetic.

He has so many thoughts running through his head that it's like a gigantic trainwreck all at once, colliding violently to make him unable to force any one thought out. It's during those times he's kept to himself, been able to lock himself away inside his room, but...]

...I don't want Shumai to feel bad, or wrong, or upset...

I just want to see him and Momota-chan again and tell them I'm sorry, and...Momota-chan knew, I think he knew, but....

[He hiccups a little bit.] I don't want...I don't want anyone to leave me ever again...I'm scared.

[He wants to apologize - to make it clear he never wanted things to go that far, he never wanted to hurt everyone but he...he had a choice, it's a lie to say he didn't. He just felt helpless and being in a role like that was the only way he could gain the agency he craved. His paranoia got the better of him.

He just wants Kaito to get mad at him again and say 'that's just Oma, he's...just like that', and to pat him on the head gently.

He just wants Shuichi to sigh and shake his head with a smile at his dumb attempts to get him to join an organization that wasn't even evil in the first place.

He wants to be normal. He can't be normal.

The only person he has now is Ryoma. And at least Ryoma knows.]

I'm sorry. I didn't want to....mmmnnnn! [He almost feels like tugging at his own hair roughly. He doesn't, though, mostly because he can't see through his tears.] I din'....di'n...want to...

[It's like a wind up toy slowly winding down.]

[It's very much like a dam breaking when Kokichi finally moved into his arms. He stiffens a little at first, automatically, but he relaxes quickly. One arm looped around Kokichi's shoulders to hold him, and the other moving to his head, slowly smoothing the other boy's hair.]

[On some level he'd expected this kind of response when he said that. Whatever happened in the killing game after he'd died, It had taken a toll on Kokichi. No small part of it was his own doing, but he'd thought that was best course of action. He couldn't blame him for it. Especially not when he was bawling like this, laying in his lap. It hurt to see him so terrified of losing those he cares for- of being all alone again for one reason or another. He can only hope that he can ease that fear a little bit, and see him through this mess of feelings.]

I can't speak for anyone else, but... I'm not going anywhere, Kokichi.

[The crying was getting less and less coherent, mumbled and slurred from emotions too turbulent to hold down, and likely thoughts that were doubly so. Kokichi doesn't have to speak though. He knows. On some level he always has. Kokichi has never been evil in his mind, and he certainly wouldn't be getting there any time soon.]

I know. I know, it's okay. I've got you.

[It didn't mean much, just little comforting phrases, but he did tug up the sleeve of his black and blue prison shirt to wipe the sparkly tears away, just a bit so that the glitter didn't cling so badly to Kokichi's eyelashes]

I'm right here. You're not alone anymore, it's alright.

Mm...mmm...

[It finally devolves into silent sniffles. Kokichi lets his eyes be wiped, and he lays there looking more pitiful than he ever has in front of anyone else. The only one who'd ever remotely seen him in this kind of state...was Kaito.

Before he died.

He can't will more words out of his mouth. He just lies there silently, pathetic and stupid. That is, until he sits up again. He grabs his phone. He's gone non-verbal for now.]

i'm hungry
i want to eat sweets and drink soda.
you're my familiar so you gotta help me.

[He holds up his phone in lieu of saying it. It's childish demands, to be sure, but the Ultimate Supreme Leader prided himself on never losing his childish side.]

[Ryoma watches as Kokichi winds down from all of that, still idly stroking his hair until he moved. The demand wasn't surprising once it had been typed, and Ryoma gave a small amused huff once he'd read it over.]

You know, I would've gotten it anyway without the reminder.

[The lack of speaking isn't questioned and his voice is soft as he says that, not wanting to give the wrong idea on accident. He gives Kokichi's shoulder a little squeeze before he gets up from the bed, glancing back]

I'll be back soon. Text me if you want something else while I'm up.

[With that he slipped back out of the room to grab what Kokichi requested, some sweets and Grape Panta from the kitchen. It didn't take him long at all to gather them and head back up, though the fact he wasn't especially keen to leave Kokichi alone right now played into that a bit.]

Alright, I'm back.

[Once back inside he handed off the treats and hopped back up to regain his spot.]

Monthly Texts From Last Night Meme

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1/2 [major V3 spoilers, cw: disease mention]

2/2 (cw: underage drinking mention)

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