folkooc | TEXTS FROM SOME TIME

Ah to be so lucky.

I meant good food, but hot girls are also in the top 3. Having someone doesn't preclude thoughts. Thoughts happen all the time. Thoughts we wouldn't act on. Thoughts you might want to but choose not to. All kinds of thoughts. You're telling me you haven't met a single person here that made you think, hot damn what is kissing that person like??????????????????????

Things have been a bit complicated lately, and I'm not fully sure where we stand, but Mel is pretty fantastic. I think you'd like her. [ Or, if anything, Gideon might find her really hot, because she is. ] But I thought you and miss Harrow were a thing as well?

Oh! My mistake. And you're right, thinking and daydreaming are not necessarily bad things per se. To be honest, my thoughts are 90% of the time focused on magic, science, and all the problems I still have to fix back home. but some peopel here are very...visually appeasing.

[ Gideon why do you ask him these things? You might actually get him to blush. ]

If she shows up, take me to your Mel. [ Gideon proceeds to stare at the relic as the idiot annoying version of her that haunts her damn footsteps breaks down laughing beside her, laughing so hard the spirit curls up on her side hiccuping. ]

It's... complicated?

Magic! Science! Problems you don't currently have! Oh my god, mentally undress a hot woman with your mind and appreciate her curves, Jayce. Check out a titty mag. Consider how magic and science can solve sexy problems. How many problems back home could get at least partially revolved with people getting laid, mmmm?

So *wriggles eyebrows* who here is quote "very visually appealing"?

Do you want to meet her or ogle her? [ Jayce thinks it's a legit question, also he's not as jealous of the idea as he is amused. It would be a very Gideon thing to do. ]

Mel is the wealthiest person in the city. She was an important member of the Council and, more or less, my boss before they gave me a seat as well. [ Jayce is being generous and using 'Gave' instead of explaining that the Council position was forced upon him. ] Now we're together, but we haven't really put a label on it.

[ The next of Gideon's texts has Jayce blushing up a storm and nearly choking on air. He doesn't address the fact that he's still worried because the problems will still be waiting for him once he goes back home, and that Viktor's health is still bad. Mostly because Gideon's suggestions break his brain a little. ]

I'm not going to check any porn magazines! Or undress people with my eyes. It's not polite! I'm pretty sure that people getting laid might not solve the problems we have, it would create new ones.

A lot of people! That's not the point!

[ It is absolutely the point. ]

MMmmm, yes, that does sound complicated.

What's wrong with titty mags? We live with tons of young people here! I doubt anyone who likes sex walks around thinking nooooooooo one ever mentally undresses them (unless they have like... esteem issues?). You're not my type, being all not a girl and all, but I'd bet five spoons Kyle's thought about what you'd look naked. Dirk too. It's a thing. We just all have to deal with it.

Pleeeeeeaaase.

Both would be fine. [ Mel is more than capable of putting a stop to any unwanted attention, so Jayce isn't worried. ] Where do you find those moving photographs? The kitty one is very cute.

There's nothing wrong with them! I know that everyone might have those thoughts at some point about others, It's normal, of course. It's only that where I come from, we don't talk about these sorts of things so casually.

I know Kyle, he's a good guy -- interested in tentacles apparently, but I haven't even met Dirk.

[ He's both flattered and mortified to no end that Gideon is so sure people think of him naked. ]

Fine, fine. I haven't talked to that many people, and besides, I tend to get interested in people on a more intellectual level, but...incompatibility notwithstanding, I think you are also very pretty, and I, eh, like brunettes in general.

Gods this is so embarrassing.

That's good news. I like her already.

Oh the gif(t)s? (they're gifts but the t got dropped somewhere, probably a typo). You open a new window on your relic and search for "thing you want" + "gif" and it usually shows up. It's basically a summoning spell.

I still don't get why anyone would go for tentacles over bones, but he's already my mirror image as a dude who only likes dudes. You need to meet Dirk. Truuuuust me.

That's very sweet of you. I'm hot af. Brunettes. Noice. We got a lot of those here of all types. You're in luck.

It really isn't. This is how the human race keeps going, pal.

I had the feeling you might if you met her in person. She's really smart, and strong, and even if she might look a bit serious, her heart is in the right place. [ She is also drop-dead gorgeous, but Jayce knows there's way more to Mel than simply her looks. ]

Ah, I get it. It sounds fun. Thanks, I'll try it.

[ Which is why after some searching, Gideon receives a gif herself. ]

Uh, this magic device truly has everything.

I'm just telling the truth. And yes, you're beautiful. Heh, it looks like it, yes. I also like people with long or messy hair, it's nice to run your fingers through it. I don't have the patience to grow it when it comes to my own hair, and since I work in a forge often, it was risky.

Thirsting over each other? He read about that word in a magazine! [ Lookie him, trying to use more modern slang. ]

Truuuuuuust me, she cannot look more serious than ~*~The Reverend Daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus~*~

Ha, I'm totally sending that image to a friend.

[ Regular!Gideon whispers into Worst!Gideon's ear. ]

God help you if you meet Coronabeth. Even if she isn't a brunette.

Thirst is what keeps us hydrated. It keeps us going ;)

That is quite an impressive name. Viktor is more serious than Mel, and less prone to socializing. Perhaps he and Harrowhark are more alike?

Feel free. I found a lot of moving pictures of cats, it's incredible.

[ One day, Jayce will notice that regular!Gideon is trapped as a ghost, like he was. One day. ]

Oh? Why is that? Now you got me curious about her.

Yes, yes, I suppose it does. [ You're just making him blush more, Gideon. ] Your'e having fun in this world, I take it?

[ Time to gossip about your flings, Nav. ]

It only includes one of her titles. There's more. Oh, I'm sure they are. Sounds right.

They are. Wait until you get to dogs.

She has the hair. the boobs. and can talk you into anything. Harrow'd be shit at a testimonial, but you could probably ask ~~the other one~~ Sex Pal.

Ooooh yeah, nearly turned into a dolphin and everything.

[ She doesn't have flings, Jayce! Neither of them do. ]

More? Is Harrow someone important in your world? Or from a High House?

[ The way Piltovians use the concept of "house" is not quite how it works in Gideon's world, as Jayce here is mainly talking about family and wealth, but it's also not that different either. ]

Oh, I'm going to enjoy this gif feature a lot. Look what you started.

[ Jayce might or might not spend the next two hours googling cute animal gifts . ]

Heh. She sounds like trouble too. I...what. Sex Pal?

A dolphin. How did that happen? I thought you weren't a familiar.

[ Ah, gotcha. A shame. ]

She's the head of her House. You know, one of nine... in the Nine Houses.

Ha, I sent your cat gif to someone else. Because that's how it works. If you promptly are completely unproductive, don't blame me. I only answered your question.

Palamedes Sextus.

I'm not, but there are these hot dolphin shapeshifting lesbian ladies. Which, oh man, really tempting.

Kind of like Mel, then. I didn't know there were nine of them.

We spread the curse of cute gifs, is it? Could be worse. I think Viktor will have fun with these too, he loves cats.

Ooooh, it's a name. Hm. [ Jayce is going to regret this, but he can't help himself. The curse of being a quick thinker. ] 'Sexual Stampedes' is also another anagram for 'Palamedes Sextus.'

[ JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE IN THE WORLD. Sorry Palamedes. ]

They completely transform into dolphins, or do they have half a woman's body and the other half is a tail?Like mermaids?

Oh yeah, I'm from the Nine Houses. So... nine... houses.

Could anyone really say no? Besides those with soulless sawdust for a heart.

[ Gideon stares at the screen in shock, running over the letters. She's in love. ]

Congratulations, you've won the lucky prize of being my new best friend. I cannot WAIT for the perfect moment to drop Sexual Stampedes. It's going to be epic.

Theeey were sexy naked ladies in a stream with jewels? IDK maybe that's sort of normal for the Third, but I'm not used to it. They became what they called dolphins. Whole body changed. No boobs. Big mouth. Nose on the top of their head?

That makes sense and sounds very coherent. What are the other houses like? All of them do bone stuff?

Only people with bad taste, or no heart as you said. Seriously these things are too much fun, even when I am not sure what animal I am looking at. A dragon with no wings?

[ Jayce grins after her reaction, clearly happy and a little bit proud that she enjoyed it. ]

I accept it gladly. Oh gods, let me know what face he makes after that.

Wow, an impressive view. And yeah that sounds like the dolphins in my world as well.

Other houses work with bone because bones are awesome, but it's not their specialty. You got flesh, spirit, and bone. You're working with energy. There's all kinds of specialties within them. I'm not sure how the Ninth House hoarded all the bones focus. It sure did.

2nd = we steal death energy
3rd = flesh has energy
4th = wards, you fuckers
5th = spirit callers
6th = librarians
7th = preservation and fucked up mojo
8th = we're always right and we suck energy from the River through our cavaliers and we make it your problem

Note: the 8th house is not always right.

Honestly, that looks like a partly desiccated flesh construct if you ask me.

I plan to take a photo, so you've got it. It needs to be preserved.

Oh cool. I hadn't seen a dolphin before.

Well, of course. Bones go with everyone. [ That was a pun of sorts, although terrible. Sorry, Gideon, this is what you unleashed. The following list is both very descriptive and not, and it makes Jayce chuckle. ]

Librarians. Hah. One of these things is not like the others. At the risk of sounding more ignorant, could you explain the 8th house a bit more? River and cavaliers? Are the latter knights that fight or...?

Yeah, that poor lizard needs to eat or drink some more. But it looks so big.

Perfect. Thank you, G.

Some of the creatures we have here exist in my world, while others don't, so I am also always unsure about what creatures are common among the different worlds we come from.

HA!

[ At this point, Worst!Gideon has to write what Regular!Gideon says as she really doesn't know enough to answer the question. Sure she could make shit up, but one conversation with Harrow or Sexual Stampedes would clear that up and make her suspicious. ]

First, cavaliers, I have an earlier netpost that explains it better. Basically, necros match up with sword fighty types, who become their cavaliers. People aaaaaalways think of the necro first like oooooh magic special, but it really shouldn't be that way if you ask me. That's a general thing. Everyone has those, even the librarians.

The River is hard to explain. Even 'god' had trouble with it. Basically it's a spirit river not literally in our universe, but you can dunk into it. Spiritually. Physically... Physical bodies + River = bad times. Eighth House gets around this by kicking their cavalier's soul out of their body. It flies off somewhere into the River, and they gotta find their way back. While they're doing that, the necromancer can basically suck energy up through their body like a straw because it's an empty conduit.

Guess what?

Also dangerous as shit!

Because if the cavalier takes too long, they could die. Something else could climb into it instead of the cavalier. Eighth House has it down to both a science and an art, and practically no one else goes there.

They see it as their job to make sure everyone is spiritually 'pure' where that means whatever the fuck they say that means. Judgy pricks.

Even giant lizards can starve. Probably it's easier to starve. They need to eat more.

[ G. G is for Gideon. G is a nickname. She has a nickname that isn't Griddle and isn't from someone she's still pretty sure is gonna kill her no matter what the other Gideon says. ]

Ninth House is not the place to get answers to that. We're drilled into an airless planet. You gotta ask the other Houses.

[ Jayce is still very much oblivious to the fact that there are two of them interacting, so he waits and listens to anything they decide to tell him about her world. He likes learning new stuff, like any good scientist. ]

I'll have to see if I can find that post. Oh, so you team up. That makes sense. I don't know all the details, of course, but I'd say that both participants are equally important. A Necromancer is as strong as their cavalier, are they not? As the saying goes, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

[ He does have a little bit more trouble imagining the River, and the whole 'kick someone's soul out of their body so one can siphon power from it' sounds horrifying. ]

Does that hurt the cavalier's soul? [ That is what Jayce cares most about. Fuck getting power at other people's expense. ] It sounds insanely risky. And are those 'something else' creatures from the void? Like demons and other malicious spirits? I'm not sure if I want to know how the Eighth House came up with the idea of trying something like that in the first place. It doesn't seem fair for the cavaliers.

Most likely. So, if you see a house-sized big lizard from now on, throw him a snack. Maybe it will stop it from trying to eat people.

[ Yes, yes, G is nickname. Not Jayce's best, admittedly, but it was said affectionately. There will be no killing as long as Jayce has a say in it, both Gideons can rest assured. ]

Ah, got it.

Also only as strong as they can work together.

I'm no expert on Eighth House stuff, but I'd say the longer they're out the riskier it gets and the cav knows. Listen to your cav. They also do weird necro/cav compatibility shit. I don't know how. Don't really want to ask. They really seem to hate the Ninth for some reason. See: judgy pricks.

Sharing food. What a sacrifice, but if it keeps people like you around...

Exactly, exactly. So many people look down on teamwork, it's tragic.

I know even less, but that river sounds very creepy. There are powers that are better left alone. [ But yes, 'listen to your cavalier' is good advice again. ]

You know you like me. I'm at least worth wasting half a sandwich on a giant lizard :)

I like to be badass as much as the next person, but yeah teamwork does some coooool shit.

River 0/10 would not repeat if I can help it.

I do, and I'm not afraid to say it. Goodbye, sweet sandwich. You were good while I knew you.

Couples fighting together is really badass too, more so if they know each other's movements.

Better not to touch it with a ten-foot pole, no.

Aww. I like you too, Gideon.

TEXTS FROM SOME TIME

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