April 2023 Test Drive Meme

[folkie]

April 2023 TDM

Introduction

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Welcome to Folkmore's monthly Test Drive Meme! Please feel free to test drive any and all characters regardless of your intent to apply or whether you have an invite or not.

All TDMs are game canon. You can choose to have your TDM thread be your introduction thread upon acceptance or start fresh. Each TDM will provide a scenario for how characters arrive in-game that particular month.

Playing TDMs will allow characters to immediately obtain canon items from homes especially weapons or other things they may have had on their person when they were pulled from their worlds! There will always be a prompt that provides some sort of "reward" to characters who complete certain tasks.

Current players are allowed to have in-game characters react to TDMs via the Network or make a log with the prompts. Current players are always encouraged to tag new people on the TDM!

TDM threads can be used for spoon spending at any time by characters accepted into the game.

[ Prompt One ★ Prompt Two]

worms. ★

Content Warnings: hallucinations, poison, giant worm

One minute you were a falling star, but as your body reforms you become aware of one important detail: it's friggin hot.

That's because you've landed in a desert! Yes, you have had the misfortune of landing in Cruel Summer, the hottest and arguably most dangerous part of Folkmore. Lucky you!

The first bit of good news is that you're pretty sure you can see a train station off in the distance, although it's extremely difficult to judge exactly how far off due to the flatness of the terrain. The second bit of good news is that you have awoken with either a canteen of water, or an umbrella to keep the sun off. The third bit of news - good or bad, depending - is that you've awoken near another Star Child. Whoever this is will have the opposite gift than what you received; if you have water, they have an umbrella, and if you have an umbrella they have water. Well, you know what they say: sharing is caring! Undeniably the water is a touch more important, so hopefully whoever has it isn't a colossal dick.

As you trek through the desert towards the distant structure, you will notice periodically the air off to either side of you will shimmer. You may dismiss it as merely the heat playing tricks, but if you choose to investigate you will find mundane weapons like swords, guns, shields, etc.

At some point as you walk, you will feel a tremor beneath your feet. It grows in intensity until suddenly the sand sprays everywhere as something bursts forth from the earth below!

Wavering above you is a blood red worm. It is large - end to end it runs about thirteen feet - and its segmented hide is tough enough that rocks bounce right off of it. You might have more luck with bullets or bladed edges, but it's still going to be a tough fight. It also boasts some impressive offensive tricks; its mouth is ringed with many rows of fangs, and itspits a thick yellow acid that will corrode your skin and your weapons if you're not careful. If that wasn't enough, during your fight you might here a sudden brrrrrrrrrapppp! as the creature farts lightning at you. Hilarious... until it knocks you to the ground.

You would do well to work as a team to take this monster down. You and your partner might have powers or skills that could come in handy, or maybe you're quick on the uptake when it comes to any new abilities afforded you by your new role!

If you defeat the worm in battle, a golden chest will appear. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds - these rewards are especially likely to be any weapons you owned back home.

But hey, maybe you're a lover, not a fighter. There's no judgement here in Folkmore. You can outrun the worm instead if you're both fast and clever - finding any terrain that is more rock than sand will give you a decided advantage.

Once you have either defeated or escaped the worm, you will find that you come upon a small group of tents. Under their shade are first aid supplies, and kiosks manned by fennec foxes offering water, food, and shaved ice. Nice!

so scarlet it was. ★

Content Warnings: emotional trauma, impalement

Giant death worms aren't the only danger in the desert, they're just the most obvious.

Even if you avoided the worms entirely, you still have to make it to one of the train stations in Cruel Summer. As you trek across the dunes you will gradually become aware that over the sound of wind and shifting sand you can hear someone singing. You feel an urge to follow the sound to its source.

This song could be anything - one that exists in your world or others, or just a melody spun in the air for the first time. Whatever it is, it is heart rending; tears may spring your eyes as you follow the sound, precious moisture falling to the thirsty desert ground.

The singing is coming from a cactus. It is taller than most humanoid creatures, tinted purple and pink at the tips, with abnormally long spines. Its song reminds you sharply of some deep loss from your past, and at the same time inspires a terrible compulsion to go to the cactus and sink against it.

And what a relief it is, to embrace that melody and feel the spines slide easily through your flesh to pierce your heart. You do not bleed. By some strange alchemy, your heartache drains from your body as liquid, filling the cactus and causing its flowers to bloom and its song to cease.

You could very well stay pinned there, dying a slow death of desiccation, but lucky for you Star Children are all over the place this time of the month and someone is bound to see that you need help.

Trying to pry someone off of the cactus is impossible. The key lies in the flowers - they must be removed. When they are, sweet liquid will spray from the place where it had grown, dousing the rescuing Star Child. With this impromptu shower comes psychic flashes of the painful memory that has trapped the victim.

Once all of the blooming flowers have been removed, the cactus will retract its spines and release its prisoner. There will be no physical wounds left from this encounter.

You will also discover nearby that there is now a golden chest. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds, although none of these items are weapons.


Thankfully, you should be able to reach either Oozlum or Obambo Station without further incident. At either of these you will be able to get some water and supplies, as well as get the hell out of Cruel Summer.

Comments

[necrosavior]

"Well that's something," Gideon mutters. Someone convinced him he didn't need to kill billions of people. Well, if he listened once, he can listen again. That's a good skill to have for self-betterment. Go Mr. Six Million Monsters in a Trench Coat.

Pulling out her spoon, Gideon thinks for a moment. Then a foam sword appears in her hand.

"One, of course sending you to terraform a planet is a better option, then you're doing people more good than sitting in a cell reading titty mags and planning ways to bust out if someone kidnaps a kid again," Gideon says, "Two, you. are. a. person."

She baps him on the head with the flat of the foam sword and jabs him in the chest with it.

"You stop thinking of yourself as a person and as a monster instead, that lets yourself off the hook. The real hook. Because you're not the bogeyman. Even if you're immortal, which you're not. I will eat all the foam in this sword if you're immortal. You did your scary bit. Time to make shit better, and that. includes. you."

She points the sword at him again.

"Welcome to the Eleanor Shellstrop School of Self Betterment. There's no unenrollment process, you accomplished idiot."

[zechs_isonfire]

Granted, if he was in prison and something happened to Treize’s daughter - or Relena - or any possible children his sister might have in the future - well, Zechs would break out and deal with it. It’s an appropriate assessment of his drive to protect. Gideon seemed on the money, there.

The spoon bewildered him. The foam sword bewildered him further. Enough so that he wasn’t expecting the bonk on the head, and the poke to the chest. He spluttered - not because of any physical complaint, but due to the mere surprise of it all.

And mostly because her words hit harder, truer to the bone, than a fake or real weapon could.

Zechs, notably, did not debate against being referred to as an ‘accomplished idiot’. It reminded him a bit bittersweetly of Noin - even if she would’ve lectured him about self-forgiveness instead. Gideon appealed to his work ethic instead, his drive to continue to improve.

“I’m not immortal. I’m as fallible as any other human,” Zechs agreed, subdued and perhaps a little contrite. “You’re correct. There isn’t an excuse for me not to attempt to work toward improving myself - especially as the self is all I possess here, removed from my reality.”

It simply might be a task much like Sisyphus pushing a boulder endlessly only to fail - Zechs thought it was worth that eternal struggle all the same.Until such a time where his death was required.

[necrosavior]

Gideon nods, somewhat surprised that this enrollment goes down so smoothly. It's probably a sign it'll be a terrible time later. Far be it for Gideon to deny herself the small wins, so she takes it.

"As any other human and any other person," Gideon agrees. She slides that in there, not-subtly, to remind him partially what the point is. He's not a machine or magical theorem, to be optimized via math or engineering. He's all messy and organic and not entirely making sense in a purely necromantic fashion. It's personhood.

"You need to treat yourself like a person. You've ingrained this 'I am a monster' attitude, and that's not going to go away overnight because you've agreed you're a person now," Gideon says. "Every time you catch yourself thinking you're a monster, I want you to do two things: I want you to tell yourself 'I am a person, not a monster' and also to keep a daily tally mark. That way you can see how often you're having those thoughts over time."

[zechs_isonfire]

Zechs had been training to become the best for the majority of his life, even as a prince one might argue. Gideon unwittingly chose the best argument to get through to him.

To a certain extent.

He frowned at her. “That seems utterly pointless. I don’t need a record to confirm my memory of events - I know all too well my failings. I can’t see how having a physical record of something I’m already aware of would prove fruitful.”

Making a vague sort of gesture, Zechs said, “Surely with all of the places you listed - there is something I can do instead. Working toward a task that would better others will produce actual results.”

And what he’d been essentially doing on Mars.

[necrosavior]

"Memory is faulty," Gideon says, "Besides, it's easy. We just use a tabulating app on your relic. You're basically pushing a button and going on with your day after you tell yourself you're a person not a monster.

"I'm not saying that's all you're going to do. I'm saying it's something you're going to do."

She waves the sword and resumes their walk toward the train station.

"Of course you're going to work on some task to help people. That's what you do. If that's all it took, you'd be better by now. Cured! Do you think if you help enough people—more people than you hurt—you won't be a monster? Being a good person isn't math!"

[zechs_isonfire]

Zechs' jaw clicked, but he held his tongue. Being a good person wasn't math. He already felt that doing as much as he could for people, working as he did, wouldn't solve anything. There's one thing he could do in order to truly atone ... and the moment wasn't ripe for that yet. It had to mean something.

He reasoned he should keep that to himself.

Continuing to walk behind her, he gave the back of her head an unimpressed look. "I'm merely saying it's pointless. Even jesting about a cure seems rather unrealistic as well. I've not contracted a virus - I've made choices which hurt others. That will not be changed. Given the immutable past - I might as well serve a productive present."

[necrosavior]

"No, being a person isn't something that can be cured," Gideon says, "Redemption or whatever you want to call it... doesn't make up for the wrongs you've done. Crux could, I don't know, end the war single-handedly and it wouldn't change what he did to me. Even after all that, he could beg for my forgiveness, and I doubt I could give it."

She knows he won't do that. He's going to die at her hand to open the tomb. A sacrifice when death is guaranteed to do something. It hardly makes up for everything.

"Look, I am zero percent interested in stopping you from serving 'a productive present,'" Gideon says, "In fact, I agree it's good for you. The problem you have is you're entirely externally focused. You gotta work on the insides too. Now, you can work on it with me—by choice—or you can work on it as Thirteen pushes you too. She might push you to either way, but in my experience you'll have more control, more a say so, if you do some of it yourself by choice.

"Which sounds better to you?"

[zechs_isonfire]

Zechs wouldn't ask anyone to forgive him, either. Whether it was his sister - living her best life, from all accounts, far away from him - nor his former enemies, whom he respected deeply. Given that he didn't believe he deserved it, perhaps that wasn't surprising.

His expression darkened a little. Zechs did not like being backed into a corner - feeling like his choices had been taken away from him. Even while the future unspooled before him in the ZERO system - he felt he had options in the one he chose. And, so, he chose the one that would lead to peace, no matter that he had to become a monster to do so.

"It seems a mere illusion of choice, if my hand is forced regardless," Zechs quipped. Focusing on himself - who was he, really? He's been playing at different roles, wearing figurative or literal masks, since he was six and his family murdered. It seemed like an impossible task. Zechs kept that to himself, too. "And you think making a list somehow corrects what's inside."

[necrosavior]

"You can always look for doors three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine," Gideon suggests, "We can reach the train station and part ways. Thing is, there's no war to solve. No problem bigger than ourselves and each other on a personal level—like me helping you, not like stopping a war.

"It's about finding choices."

Gideon sighs. "You could walk beside me you know. My ear is just as interesting as my shoulder blades."

She thinks for a few steps, thoughtful and not spouting the first thing off her mind. "I've been stuck in the back of someone's head before," Gideon says, "Back home, not here. It's weird. Point is, I didn't simply experience the world how people treated her and that walk a mile in another person's shoes idea but how she saw the world. Like, some things probably happened a whole fuck lot differently, and I can recognize that... it doesn't tell me how it actually the fuck went. The inside of our heads shapes a whole lot about ourselves and the world.

"So no, making that list isn't going to correct everything. It's only a tool to make you aware of one thing going on in your head. There's a fuckton more going on, I'm sure."

Gideon thinks of Eleanor, worried about trying to save the afterlife for all of humanity. Gideon's trying her best and feels over her head half the time, but at least nothing like that depends on her efforts. At the end of the day, Eren, Zechs, and anyone else are responsible for their own actions. That lifts a weight from her shoulders.

[zechs_isonfire]

"I'm not about to wish war upon a peaceful world," Zechs said, even if it seemed he's a little reluctant. It's the truth, though! It was merely ... frustrating, there wasn't some larger goal to focus on. He was certainly willing to help others, at least - but for them to focus on him instead? Zechs would certainly pass.

He made a soft sound of affirmation, and pulled his boots more determinedly out of the deep sand in order to keep up with her. Zechs would love to get out of this godforsaken desert. He listened, once again, to another fantastic sounding story. Once more, he had no reason but to accept it as truth. It seemed like an odd thing to make up, and again, she had no motive to do so.

"Being trapped within someone else's mind seems like a unique sort of hell," Zechs observed quietly. "Especially given the horrors you've already described that your reality endures."

[necrosavior]

"It was an accident, sort of, I think," Gideon says. She waves one hand and the foam sword with it in a vague non-threatening manner. It's not the point. There's been far, far worse in her experience.

"Could you indulge me on this one thing?" Gideon asks, "Calling yourself a person not a monster, every time you mentally call yourself a monster, and pressing the little tally button on your relic. It's really not that much.

"You can even think of it as helping me because you're helping me keep my promise to my friend Eleanor Shellstrop who's no longer here. If she comes back, I want to be ready to help her do this mind betterment stuff because where she's from the fate of billions depend on it."

[zechs_isonfire]

Zechs didn't make any promises just yet, but instead, focused on the unknown variable. He was indeed a man of his word, and would fight hard not to abandon a promise once made. On the other hand, she kept mentioning that stranger, and it was uncomfortable to be so beholden to a person completely unknown to him.

"That isn't the first time you've mentioned that name," Zechs remarked. "Who is Eleanor Shellstrop? And what, exactly, is her mission that billions would depend upon her task?"

[necrosavior]

Fair enough.

"Eleanor's dead," Gideon says, "she's in her universe's afterlife. It's currently rigged so that everyone gets tortured for all eternity, but she was able to argue the chance to prove that people can change and improve for the better. Eleanor'll get a group of people hand selected by the demons in charge of torturing people forever, and she'll have a set amount of time in which to show they can improve.

"If Eleanor can do it, tada, redesign the afterlife into something better. If not, everyone, every single person will be tortured for all eternity."

Gideon doesn't know aaaaaaaaall the details, but it's hard to forget things like that. She's the one who suggested Eleanor practice in Folkmore. Even if she forgot Folkmore, that practice ought to help, right?

"I'm glad it doesn't rest on my shoulders," Gideon adds, "The time crunch would do me in."

[zechs_isonfire]

Zechs’ eyes subtly widened. It sounded like an impossible task. It’s not that Zechs didn’t believe people could improve for the better - but a random group of people? As a whole? Odds were, there were some who wouldn’t want to change, in Zechs’ opinion. It’s possible, though, that he had a dimmer view of humanity.

“It’s a noble cause,” Zechs admitted honestly, “and yet I’m just as glad it wasn’t my task. I don’t believe I’m well suited to inspiring that manner of improvement in others.”

Which. It’s a good point to ask, “What does that have to do with you, if the woman is no longer with us?”

[necrosavior]

If Eleanor were with her, Gideon bets Zechs would be sold. Let them improve him, and it could save billions. That's the kind of service that seems right up his alley. There's a disconnect right now between Gideon and Eleanor, who isn't in Folkmore.

She exhales. "Because people come back. I've had other friends leave and come back," Gideon says, "We started the school together. I promised to help. So I'm carrying it on. No one's guaranteed any amount of time. If she comes back, I need to be ready to help her as best I can. That means helping people improve in the meantime. What's the worst that happens—I help people? Oh no."

Nah, the worst that happens is she makes enemies that hold grudges and try to kill Harrow and Palamedes and Cam, but Gideon isn't going to give him that idea for free.

[zechs_isonfire]

"So I'm ... practice, for you," Zechs said, sounding like he was feeling the idea out, not that he was rejecting the idea. "Training, of a sort."

Some people might find that insulting, but at least Zechs could see the utility in it. Any task - especially one as impossible as saving so many people despite themselves - needed discipline and hard work to achieve. Part of that was improving one's skills.

[necrosavior]

Gideon grimaces slightly but nods. "Yeeeeeeeeees," she says, "I'm not some tip top of the line people improving expert. I'm down in the catacombs, same as you. Training. Working. Helping people, hopefully.

"I'm not the savior that's going to save billions. That's Eleanor, but if I can help a little bit to make that a little easier for her, I'll be happy with that. I'm a Myth. You're a Myth. Eleanor's a Myth. We don't have to be Legends to agree that billions of people tortured forever is terrible."

Plus Eleanor didn't demand Gideon's help. She volunteered. She suggested it.

"Not a bad way to spend some of your time here, is it?" Gideon asks. Honestly.

[zechs_isonfire]

Zechs was quiet for a while as he thought that through. He didn’t really appreciate being someone’s project. The implication that he needed help stung his pride, sure, but being a practice run twisted it more. And yet he’s pragmatic, and understood that work required practice, and this was valued work.

He felt like she had chosen a near impossible task with him, but pointing that out seemed like it would invite a contrary argument. If she decided she wanted to keep pushing this boulder up that hill, who was he to stop him?

“There are far worse things,” Zechs finally said. “And it’s a worthy goal. I hope it is clear, despite what you know - I am interested in the greater good. If I am to be your experiment - so be it.”

[necrosavior]

Gideon grins, a huge beaming happy smile. Something that could power the sun. Something in her posture relaxes, and a moment later she reaches over to give Zechs a huge heartwarming hug. He can't be pricklier than her necromancer.

"I don't know," Gideon says, "You agreeing do to this when you'd been grumpy about it because it can help billions of people you'll never meet kinda gives you away, buddy pal friend."

She pulls back and squeezes his shoulders. "I'm sure you'll figure out how to help people here too, you have," Gideon stretches one hand out and frowns slightly, "... skills?"

[zechs_isonfire]

Truly, you'd think that Zechs would be more on his guard after getting bonked on the head with a foam sword. But he didn't dodge away instinctively by the grapple - wait. It's a hug. Yes, he froze in confusion instead, giving her a puzzled look before his expression closed off. How was ... he supposed to respond to this?

Zechs cleared his throat, and gently would try to extract himself. "As I mentioned. And understand I mean this metaphorically - I am not that kind of monster. Mortal suffering is temporary. If an afterlife does exist somewhere - that is eternal, and not a fate I'd wish on most."

When she pulled back, he folded his arms on instinct, which would hopefully help shield him from repeat hugs. (Just. Why did he look like the sort of person anyone should hug?) But her question managed to coax a slight smirk.

"Yes, I have quite a few skills to my name. There is but one pilot who can best me, and outside of a suit, few can match me in either swordsmanship or marksmanship." He's clearly proud.

[necrosavior]

Oh sweet rib bones, he resembles Harrow so much when in a hug. If Harrow were tall and blonde and from the Second House. Surely the Second House has at least one blonde? The Third doesn't have a monopoly on blondes. Gideon pats him on the back as she lets him go. A gentle promise of more hugs to come. Anyone who responds like that to a hug is someone in need of ten thousand more hugs.

"Mmhmm, yep, not that kind of metaphorical monster," Gideon agrees far too easily. That's totally what she meant. Nothing else. Nothing more. Her eyes glint behind her glasses, but the desert sun protects her (Zechs? one of them) from it.

Despite the sand, Gideon nearly starts bouncing in excitement. "We have to spar. Swords. I mean swords. I literally don't care which of us if either of us sweeps the floor with each other, but we need to fight. Then we have to do it again. And again. And again." Yeah, she means it, as much as she meant all the rest. To the floor's the style she's used to.

She settles down more seriously a moment. "But how do you mean to help people here? There isn't a lot of fighting to do outside of possibly trials. It's a pretty peaceful place. You did terraforming. Could you do... gardening?"

[zechs_isonfire]

While Zechs wasn't nearly as ... effusive as Gideon was ... he certainly shared in her excitement on the topic. A slightly cocky smirk grew on his face, transforming his previously dour expression into something much more arrogant. His eyes had a spark from that challenge, too, which wasn't there before. "Swords, indeed. If I should have a sabre again - I will face you. We'll see if you are capable of 'sweeping the floor' with me. I'm not easily brought down."

But her question brought him up a little short. Zechs frowned again, that playful smirk disappearing. In fact, the memory the question invoked was a little ... painful, and he tried not to let that show on his face. "... I know only a little of gardening, by way of a friend I once knew. I'm certain I could learn more if required."

[necrosavior]

Gideon grins. "Plenty of swords littering Folkmore," she says, "They're only price is that as soon as you pick one up you usually have to fight some kind of monster. I'm sure you could handle that." Even if it's not his sword, it's something. They'll be able to see about sweeping the floor or anywhere in between.

The playfulness disappearing saddens Gideon. They'd just gotten there. "Doesn't have to be gardening," Gideon assures him, "There's lots to do around Folkmore. People make their own ways all the time. I just meant... what non-fighty stuff do you know?"

An awkward question, she gets it. The sword was all she trained with since she was four.

[zechs_isonfire]

Zechs gave her a serious nod, and mentally went through such a list as he spoke aloud. "Mechanical work - I'm not an engineer nor have I received formal training, but I've been working past year on the space station to terraform a planet, my jobs have chiefly been to help fix anything that's broken and keep things running smoothly. Yet, given how rustic things are here, I doubt those skills come in handy."

He crossed his arms. "Nor, for the same reasons we lack war, will you need a politician, though my skills are weaker there. No need for diplomacy when there's little conflict. I studied history - irrelevant here - literature - likewise pointless."

Fingers flexed on his arm. He did hate feeling useless.

[necrosavior]

Gideon listens to the skills Zechs lists. The longer he goes, the more quickly he dismisses them. She'd do the same, sure, but Gideon's found a way to help people here. Zechs can too. Odds are it probably won't be what either of them think of today.

"That's a lot of skills," Gideon says, "People bring in their own tech and buildings and stuff from home, but that takes a lot of lore. So you gotta keep it working and make the most of what you've got. If you can handle your level of tech, surely you can do something here.

"Politics are people skills. Always need those. You may not help forge a peace treaty, but people get plenty testy over ordinary things. Plus they could help you teach. Assuming you know more than names and dates and shit, it sure as hell would help people to learn how to analyze their own world's history or literature. Teach the skills."

She leans over, "Tell me, what are the literary or historical merits of titty mags? Surely there's something." Half-joking, half-not. Gideon pulls a copy of Frontline Titties of the Fifth out of her bag and offers it over.