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April 2023 Test Drive Meme
April 2023 TDM
Introduction
Welcome to Folkmore's monthly Test Drive Meme! Please feel free to test drive any and all characters regardless of your intent to apply or whether you have an invite or not.
All TDMs are game canon. You can choose to have your TDM thread be your introduction thread upon acceptance or start fresh. Each TDM will provide a scenario for how characters arrive in-game that particular month.
Playing TDMs will allow characters to immediately obtain canon items from homes especially weapons or other things they may have had on their person when they were pulled from their worlds! There will always be a prompt that provides some sort of "reward" to characters who complete certain tasks.
Current players are allowed to have in-game characters react to TDMs via the Network or make a log with the prompts. Current players are always encouraged to tag new people on the TDM!
TDM threads can be used for spoon spending at any time by characters accepted into the game.
Content Warnings: hallucinations, poison, giant worm
One minute you were a falling star, but as your body reforms you become aware of one important detail: it's friggin hot.
That's because you've landed in a desert! Yes, you have had the misfortune of landing in Cruel Summer, the hottest and arguably most dangerous part of Folkmore. Lucky you!
The first bit of good news is that you're pretty sure you can see a train station off in the distance, although it's extremely difficult to judge exactly how far off due to the flatness of the terrain. The second bit of good news is that you have awoken with either a canteen of water, or an umbrella to keep the sun off. The third bit of news - good or bad, depending - is that you've awoken near another Star Child. Whoever this is will have the opposite gift than what you received; if you have water, they have an umbrella, and if you have an umbrella they have water. Well, you know what they say: sharing is caring! Undeniably the water is a touch more important, so hopefully whoever has it isn't a colossal dick.
As you trek through the desert towards the distant structure, you will notice periodically the air off to either side of you will shimmer. You may dismiss it as merely the heat playing tricks, but if you choose to investigate you will find mundane weapons like swords, guns, shields, etc.
At some point as you walk, you will feel a tremor beneath your feet. It grows in intensity until suddenly the sand sprays everywhere as something bursts forth from the earth below!
Wavering above you is a blood red worm. It is large - end to end it runs about thirteen feet - and its segmented hide is tough enough that rocks bounce right off of it. You might have more luck with bullets or bladed edges, but it's still going to be a tough fight. It also boasts some impressive offensive tricks; its mouth is ringed with many rows of fangs, and itspits a thick yellow acid that will corrode your skin and your weapons if you're not careful. If that wasn't enough, during your fight you might here a sudden brrrrrrrrrapppp! as the creature farts lightning at you. Hilarious... until it knocks you to the ground.
You would do well to work as a team to take this monster down. You and your partner might have powers or skills that could come in handy, or maybe you're quick on the uptake when it comes to any new abilities afforded you by your new role!
If you defeat the worm in battle, a golden chest will appear. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds - these rewards are especially likely to be any weapons you owned back home.
But hey, maybe you're a lover, not a fighter. There's no judgement here in Folkmore. You can outrun the worm instead if you're both fast and clever - finding any terrain that is more rock than sand will give you a decided advantage.
Once you have either defeated or escaped the worm, you will find that you come upon a small group of tents. Under their shade are first aid supplies, and kiosks manned by fennec foxes offering water, food, and shaved ice. Nice!
One minute you were a falling star, but as your body reforms you become aware of one important detail: it's friggin hot.
That's because you've landed in a desert! Yes, you have had the misfortune of landing in Cruel Summer, the hottest and arguably most dangerous part of Folkmore. Lucky you!
The first bit of good news is that you're pretty sure you can see a train station off in the distance, although it's extremely difficult to judge exactly how far off due to the flatness of the terrain. The second bit of good news is that you have awoken with either a canteen of water, or an umbrella to keep the sun off. The third bit of news - good or bad, depending - is that you've awoken near another Star Child. Whoever this is will have the opposite gift than what you received; if you have water, they have an umbrella, and if you have an umbrella they have water. Well, you know what they say: sharing is caring! Undeniably the water is a touch more important, so hopefully whoever has it isn't a colossal dick.
As you trek through the desert towards the distant structure, you will notice periodically the air off to either side of you will shimmer. You may dismiss it as merely the heat playing tricks, but if you choose to investigate you will find mundane weapons like swords, guns, shields, etc.
At some point as you walk, you will feel a tremor beneath your feet. It grows in intensity until suddenly the sand sprays everywhere as something bursts forth from the earth below!
Wavering above you is a blood red worm. It is large - end to end it runs about thirteen feet - and its segmented hide is tough enough that rocks bounce right off of it. You might have more luck with bullets or bladed edges, but it's still going to be a tough fight. It also boasts some impressive offensive tricks; its mouth is ringed with many rows of fangs, and itspits a thick yellow acid that will corrode your skin and your weapons if you're not careful. If that wasn't enough, during your fight you might here a sudden brrrrrrrrrapppp! as the creature farts lightning at you. Hilarious... until it knocks you to the ground.
You would do well to work as a team to take this monster down. You and your partner might have powers or skills that could come in handy, or maybe you're quick on the uptake when it comes to any new abilities afforded you by your new role!
If you defeat the worm in battle, a golden chest will appear. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds - these rewards are especially likely to be any weapons you owned back home.
But hey, maybe you're a lover, not a fighter. There's no judgement here in Folkmore. You can outrun the worm instead if you're both fast and clever - finding any terrain that is more rock than sand will give you a decided advantage.
Once you have either defeated or escaped the worm, you will find that you come upon a small group of tents. Under their shade are first aid supplies, and kiosks manned by fennec foxes offering water, food, and shaved ice. Nice!
Content Warnings: emotional trauma, impalement
Giant death worms aren't the only danger in the desert, they're just the most obvious.
Even if you avoided the worms entirely, you still have to make it to one of the train stations in Cruel Summer. As you trek across the dunes you will gradually become aware that over the sound of wind and shifting sand you can hear someone singing. You feel an urge to follow the sound to its source.
This song could be anything - one that exists in your world or others, or just a melody spun in the air for the first time. Whatever it is, it is heart rending; tears may spring your eyes as you follow the sound, precious moisture falling to the thirsty desert ground.
The singing is coming from a cactus. It is taller than most humanoid creatures, tinted purple and pink at the tips, with abnormally long spines. Its song reminds you sharply of some deep loss from your past, and at the same time inspires a terrible compulsion to go to the cactus and sink against it.
And what a relief it is, to embrace that melody and feel the spines slide easily through your flesh to pierce your heart. You do not bleed. By some strange alchemy, your heartache drains from your body as liquid, filling the cactus and causing its flowers to bloom and its song to cease.
You could very well stay pinned there, dying a slow death of desiccation, but lucky for you Star Children are all over the place this time of the month and someone is bound to see that you need help.
Trying to pry someone off of the cactus is impossible. The key lies in the flowers - they must be removed. When they are, sweet liquid will spray from the place where it had grown, dousing the rescuing Star Child. With this impromptu shower comes psychic flashes of the painful memory that has trapped the victim.
Once all of the blooming flowers have been removed, the cactus will retract its spines and release its prisoner. There will be no physical wounds left from this encounter.
You will also discover nearby that there is now a golden chest. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds, although none of these items are weapons.
Thankfully, you should be able to reach either Oozlum or Obambo Station without further incident. At either of these you will be able to get some water and supplies, as well as get the hell out of Cruel Summer.
Giant death worms aren't the only danger in the desert, they're just the most obvious.
Even if you avoided the worms entirely, you still have to make it to one of the train stations in Cruel Summer. As you trek across the dunes you will gradually become aware that over the sound of wind and shifting sand you can hear someone singing. You feel an urge to follow the sound to its source.
This song could be anything - one that exists in your world or others, or just a melody spun in the air for the first time. Whatever it is, it is heart rending; tears may spring your eyes as you follow the sound, precious moisture falling to the thirsty desert ground.
The singing is coming from a cactus. It is taller than most humanoid creatures, tinted purple and pink at the tips, with abnormally long spines. Its song reminds you sharply of some deep loss from your past, and at the same time inspires a terrible compulsion to go to the cactus and sink against it.
And what a relief it is, to embrace that melody and feel the spines slide easily through your flesh to pierce your heart. You do not bleed. By some strange alchemy, your heartache drains from your body as liquid, filling the cactus and causing its flowers to bloom and its song to cease.
You could very well stay pinned there, dying a slow death of desiccation, but lucky for you Star Children are all over the place this time of the month and someone is bound to see that you need help.
Trying to pry someone off of the cactus is impossible. The key lies in the flowers - they must be removed. When they are, sweet liquid will spray from the place where it had grown, dousing the rescuing Star Child. With this impromptu shower comes psychic flashes of the painful memory that has trapped the victim.
Once all of the blooming flowers have been removed, the cactus will retract its spines and release its prisoner. There will be no physical wounds left from this encounter.
You will also discover nearby that there is now a golden chest. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds, although none of these items are weapons.
Thankfully, you should be able to reach either Oozlum or Obambo Station without further incident. At either of these you will be able to get some water and supplies, as well as get the hell out of Cruel Summer.
no subject
It's annoying, and he doesn't particularly want to play nice. But also, this guy hasn't actually done anything to warrant hostility or sarcasm yet, so... ]
That's super depressing, dude. We only go around once, or something like that. So, why not make the best of it while we're here~? And speaking of here, if we plan on being alive in the next few hours, you're probably right.
[ So, he does begin walking, still twirling the umbrella like it's some sort of baton. ]
...I'm Iggy, by the way. [ Not that he particularly wants introductions here. He really hates being so serious right now. It won't last, probably, but he's trying, dammit. ]
no subject
[Neither here in the desert or here in general, as in alive. But, walking was still a good idea. He didn't plan on becoming a withered husk of a corpse in the desert. What a lame way that'd be to die.
So, he started walking, too, falling into step next to Iggy.]
Ronan. So, what are you?
[He wasn't actively trying to be rude- he just didn't care if he was. He was much nastier when he was actually trying to be an asshole.]
no subject
[ There's a little pep to his step as they walk, and he gives his umbrella another little twirl, throwing a glance over at Ronan at his question. It's hilarious, honestly -- and he feels like this isn't gonna be the last time he gets this question today. ]
I'm a Koopa! We are... magic using reptiles that can breathe fire and do all sorts of cool stuff, but mostly we've just got a bad reputation for being nasty and vile and also, that reputation isn't wrong.
[ He pauses for a long moment, thoughtful, before: ]
I'm gonna assume you're a human, then?
no subject
Sounds like we've got something in common.
[He also had a reputation for being nasty and vile and it wasn't wrong. If it was, his number wouldn't have once been scrawled on the wall of Nino's bathroom with Beezlebub above it.]
Yeah. Pretty boring in comparison.
[Except he wasn't. He didn't like lying but he didn't know for sure if being a dreamer made him something other than human or not. So technically, there was a little loophole there.]
no subject
[ Because, hello. Color him interested, sir. ]
Not entirely. Humans are capable of doing some pretty amazing stuff! Mostly. Well. A few of you are, at least!
[ VERY few. Is it a backhanded compliment to the idiot plumbers? No. They've just gotten lucky. The Princess, on the other hand.... actually. No. ]
So I'm gonna assume that we are, in fact, definitely not from the same place. What's your world like?
[ He twirls the umbrella one more time, before popping it over and very c a s u a l l y positioning it between the two of them, making sure that they both are covered and shaded. ]
no subject
I've got more speeding tickets than I can count on both hands.
[How did he have a license still?]
I've fought with more people than I can count, too. I'm probably going to drop out of school, if I'm not expelled first.
I'm not what people call nice.
[Even though, underneath all of that, he had a soft side, a side that cared deeply about the people he was close to and loved animals and wanted stupid, mushy, romantic shit.]
Humans are assholes, mostly.
[He shrugged a shoulder and, while he was thinking of how to describe where he was from, he didn't fail to notice the careful positioning of the umbrella.]
It's a boring, shitty place.
[Which was certainly one way of describing Henrietta without delving into how he felt like he'd been born just to die.]
There's definitely no talking reptiles. I dunno. [He exhaled.] I've never left my hometown.
no subject
[ Mostly. He listens, turning his gaze up at Ronan again as he continues on. ]
I'm not what most people would consider 'nice' either, so, hey! We've got that much in common. I've never been to school myself, not the traditional sort [ Being raised by a King did come with its benefits, specifically that every lesson they learned was at the castle with private tutors. Not that Iggy paid too much attention to any of it himself. ] but I've heard it sucks, so, I don't really blame you!
[ The 'humans are assholes' bit makes him laugh again, though, and he grins. ]
Heck yeah they are! But, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. Or something like that! They sure make my life a whole lot more interesting and frustrating. I've only dealt with like, three personally, but they have got to be the lamest, most rage inducing humans I've ever met. They cause me a whole lot of trouble, and some day, I'll--
[ He stops himself there, though. He's talking to a literal human, and really, he shouldn't be giving his entire life story away. So, he chuckles to himself again and shrugs his free shoulder. ]
Anyways! Not gonna lie, your world sounds a whole lot less colorful than mine. Which is too bad! But since we're stuck here, maybe this one will be better for you?
no subject
[And he'd plastered photocopies of all of his to his bedroom door. Like they were badges of honor instead of things to be ashamed of. He couldn't imagine what kind of place would give out medals for driving too fast. Sounded a bit like his kind of place, though.]
School's like being strangled. [He offered.] Literally, with the uniform and the tie.
You've only met three humans? [That just made him more curious about the specifics. But, he figured, Iggy probably spent a lot of time with his own people. Or maybe humans were a rarity. Who knew.
He raised an eyebrow when Iggy cut himself off. Somehow, Ronan had a feeling that sentence would have ended with something violent. He could approve of violence in a lot of cases but not all.]
Yeah, less colorful's one way to put it.
[How badly Ronan wanted to feel like he belonged. How desperately did he want to know what he was and have the answer not be 'a freak'. How much he wanted to be able to be himself and thrive. Maybe this place would be good for that. Hard to tell from a desert, though.]
And maybe.
no subject
[ Even if that were a thing at home, other than the stupid Mario Brothers, who would have the audacity to try and take him on? Absolutely no one. So, the very thought of someone trying to give him a speeding ticket is beyond hilarious. ]
Sounds like it! Glad I never had to attend. Just had boring private lessons at home.
[ Lessons that he was way ahead of compared to even his older siblings. Especially when it came down to mechanics.The rest of it was easy too, he'd only ever fallen behind one time and that had been on purpose so that his elder, smaller brother wouldn't feel bad for failing a simple math course. The scathing look he'd received from Kamek had just been a bonus, and Lemmy hadn't ever questioned why they'd both had to retake those courses. He'd just been happy that they were together, and in Iggy's opinion, that made it worth it.
Not that he'd ever openly admit that. ]
Yep. Only three! Two have been a giant pain in my rear end since I was little, the other my [ Dad? No, even now that doesn't sound right, even if Bowser gets all starry eyed when they slip up on occasion. ] King is obsessed with the other. She's a princess, so, y'know. Gotta kidnap her and all that on occasion. It's great. I don't see what he sees in her, although it'd be a lie to say it's not fun to run off with her and wait for the other two to come and try to throw hands. Also, she's pretty nice.
[ Which SHOULD make him recoil, but after knowing the Princess his entire life and how she had to just go and outright say that she doesn't HATE them, that she actually likes them... well. Even he isn't immune to that. He does like to act nonchalant, but he isn't entirely heartless. Mostly. ]
I mean, it might not look like it right now, but maybe this one is more colorful than it looks. Won't know until we dig deeper into it, y'know?
[ He's really bad at this whole... socializing thing. It's so much easier with his siblings and even the minions, mostly because his siblings already know he's nuttier than a fruitcake and a good portion of the minions try to stay out of his way unless they are specifically assigned under him. ]
Speaking of our current situation, ifffff my hideously impaired eyes do not deceive me, there seems to be something waaaaay over... there!
[ He uses his free hand to point a clawed finger into the distance, where surely, there IS something glittering, buried halfway under the sand. ]
no subject
[There was a difference, but he wasn't really concerned with it. He was just curious. It was probably a tutor, he figured, after hearing about kings.]
Wait- so, you have to kidnap her because she's a princess? Doesn't that kind of thing start wars?
[He couldn't think of a single case were kidnapping royalty had ever ended well, according to history. Or maybe it didn't start wars because the princess was so nice. Also, if she got kidnapped more than once- didn't she get tired of that?
He thought of making a comment about eyesight, decided it didn't matter, and squinted where Iggy pointed. There sure was something there, though it was hard to tell what at this distance.]
Your eyes can't be that bad if you saw that.
[Alright, so much for not saying anything.]
no subject
[ Magic and combat and all of that other crap, although he's grateful for it. It'd been a good outlet to really let loose, and it's helped him come up with some pretty brutal ways to take down his enemies. ]
Yes! Uh, also, 'cause the King is like, super in love with her or soooo he says. And yes! Yes, it is an act of war! But we've been at war with her kingdom since waaaaay before I was born, so, I dunno. I guess it tracks.
[ He shrugs his shoulders, because really at this point he doesn't think much about it. Kidnapping her gives him something to do that isn't getting in trouble around the castle or babysitting Junior, so, he can't entirely complain. ]
My eyesight really sucks without the specs, my dude! Seriously, do you know how many times my older brothers have broken these things-- actually, we're not even gonna talk about that.
[ Because by older brothers he means older brother. And by older brother, he means Roy... and by Roy, he means he did something to definitely deserve getting socked in the face and not being fast enough to get out of the way. ]
Maybe if we're lucky, it's buried treasure! Or... probably trash, honestly. Wanna check it out to see if it's anything cool?
no subject
[He couldn't help but wonder if homeschooling would have been better for him or if he still would've hated school just as much. His mother wasn't exactly a teacher type though, and his father- well, it probably wouldn't have worked out.]
So- how old are you?
[It seemed like a pertinent question when they were talking about war and a king who was in love with a princess since before this guy had been born. Being at constant war sounded stressful, but he wasn't going to get into that.]
Older brothers are assholes. Thought it was just mine, but it's kind of nice to know it's universal.
[Declan was a whole can of worms Ronan had no intention of getting into, though. Not unless he was specifically asked.]
It could be something useful, so yeah, I wanna check it out.
[Maybe it was something put there specifically for them to find, just like they'd been purposely put in the desert in the first place.]
no subject
[ Not that it particularly matters, he's not big on birthday celebrations in general, his own at least. He much prefers causing chaos at literally anyone else's party-- ]
Oh, they definitely are! They can be okay sometimes too, though. [ Lemmy is great, Ludwig is amazing to troll, and Roy is just too easy to rile up. ] How many older brothers do you have? I have three, but a grand total of six other siblings. Including a He glances around comically and lowers his voice into a hushed, dramatic whisper: ] very temperamental little sister.
[ Granted, the thought of said little sister being lost, all alone in the desert does bother him a little, even if he refuses to let it show. She's a tough cookie, so, she'd probably be fine anyways. ]
Okie dokie! Onward toooo... prrrrobably something neat!
[ And so, his trajectory changes towards their new task: Operation Get Shiny, Potentially Amusing Item. ]
no subject
I'll be eighteen in November.
[If he made it until November and if the months worked the same way here. He hadn't considered it before and now it was a little bewildering to try and imagine a place where time worked differently.]
I guess. I've got just one older brother, but he's- usually we end up smashing each other's faces in.
[Which was why their meetings were generally supervised or over the phone.]
I've got a little brother, too. He's- [Ronan swallowed. Matthew was a dream. His dream. A delightful sibling that everybody couldn't help but love. Ronan had dreamt him to be lovable. Yet he couldn't help but feel guilty.] -he's pretty great. For a kid brother.
[He followed along, about to say something about how whatever was in the chest couldn't be worse than nothing, when something occurred to him.]
You don't think it's a trap, do you?
no subject
[ Seventeen -- Ludwig won't be eighteen for a hot minute, though. Not that it matters, he already acts like an old man half the time anyways. ]
Sounds familiar, honestly. Although these days, we don't beat up on each other quite as much. Still, that sucks, dude. Sometimes, family is a little overrated if you ask me.
[ Even if that might be a little bit of a lie. Already, he's starting to feel the tug of loss at the prospect of potentially never seeing his own siblings again, and he's going to have to find a way to kill that annoying little emotion and quick. Well. Something to worry about later. ]
Kid brothers are pretty cool to have! They're also pretty impressionable... [ Which is why Ludwig had very much stressed to keep Larry and Morton away from him when they'd been younger. He hadn't had a chance to with Morton, but poor Larry had definitely been held firmly out of his grasp. Which is a shame, maybe he could have benefited from a little more trolling-- ] How old is yours? Larry's about to turn eleven. He's my youngest brother. Our parents sorta just decided to pop us all out one after another before they decided to go and... actually, I don't really know what happened to them. Huh.
[ It's not something that he thinks about often, their parents. He's not quite as sentimental as his older brothers, who have at least a little memory of them. If he thinks hard enough, the memory of his parents is definitely there, albeit a little fuzzy. He doesn't think that hard about them ever, though, and he's not about to start now, either. ]
Anyways! It could be a trap, yeah, but there's only one way to find out. We'll just approach with caution and take the necessary steps and procedures to make sure it's all sorts of safe!
[ Well. That's what he says, even if the look on his face says otherwise as that shiny chest grows closer and closer to them. ]
As a matter of fact, I'll gladly volunteer to pry that bad boy open! If something wants to try and stop us, then I'll happily throw down~ Ahahaha!
no subject
[He valued his family, he did, even Declan, but- sometimes things were hard. He knew he didn't make things any easier, either.]
God, right? Matthew picks up the most annoying things. But he's a good kid. [And Ronan would absolutely be beside himself if something happened to him.] He's fifteen.
[Ronan couldn't imagine not knowing what happened to his parents. The situation he was in was already hard enough but not knowing...]
Are they missing? Your parents.
[It seemed kinder than asking if they were dead or something, especially if the kid didn't know what'd actually happened.
As far as the chest being a trap went though, that logic seemed sound. Ronan just doubted either of them were going to proceed with caution and take the necessary steps to ensure it was safe.]
You can pry it open if you want. I'll keep an eye out for any traps.
[Or tricks. Or an ambush.]
no subject
[ Even if, on occasion, he just happens to be one of the dickbags in question to get a good laugh out of it. Pranks just happen to be his forte, he can't help himself. Besides, his siblings lend themselves to his amusement so easily. ]
So you're the middle child too then, huh? Y'know, I always hear people making 'middle child' jokes, but I don't really think it's all that bad.
[ Mostly because he's accepted that he's just the same as the other six. He's very different, and it doesn't bother him at all. He's also long past trying to prove himself to his elders, he just doesn't care anymore. ]
Eh, they're probably long dead. There's not many Koopas like my siblings and I, other than the King and his son. I can honestly say I have no idea how we ended up in the King's care, but we did, so we got pretty lucky. He never really talks about how we showed up in his life, either, it's just sort of something no one really asks or talks about these days, I guess.
[ Iggy shrugs, clearly not at all bothered by the lack of biological parents. It's such a rare thing to even think about them at this point, and getting all sentimental like Ludwig makes him want to gag. So, he just doesn't. ]
Oh, I'll do more than pry it open if it ends up having teeth or something... [ He's going to throw that damned thing into the actual sun, and when it comes down he's going to figure out how to tame it. If that happens. From here, though, it just looks pretty normal. ]
Speaking of parents, what about yours? Are yours still around?
no subject
[He'd always been his dad's favorite, after all. And Matthew had been their mother's. Which meant Declan... Sometimes, Ronan felt a little bad that Declan wasn't anybody's favorite. But then other times, it was entirely too easy to understand how he hadn't been favored.]
Huh. Sounds mysterious. Probably means it's either something tragic or humiliating.
[Those were two things people didn't like talking about, after all. And if it was tragic, maybe it wasn't discussed to spare Iggy and his siblings.]
I hadn't been considering if it's going to have teeth.
[That felt more fantastical than worrying about a grenade or an ambush.
But, on the subject of his own parents, Ronan hesitated. Everybody in Henrietta knew the story so he never had to rehash it anymore--or punch anyone in the face for asking.]
Dad's dead. Mom's in a coma.
[He left out the part where he'd also been forbidden from even visiting his childhood home. He'd lost everything when his father was killed.]