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April 2023 Test Drive Meme
April 2023 TDM
Introduction
Welcome to Folkmore's monthly Test Drive Meme! Please feel free to test drive any and all characters regardless of your intent to apply or whether you have an invite or not.
All TDMs are game canon. You can choose to have your TDM thread be your introduction thread upon acceptance or start fresh. Each TDM will provide a scenario for how characters arrive in-game that particular month.
Playing TDMs will allow characters to immediately obtain canon items from homes especially weapons or other things they may have had on their person when they were pulled from their worlds! There will always be a prompt that provides some sort of "reward" to characters who complete certain tasks.
Current players are allowed to have in-game characters react to TDMs via the Network or make a log with the prompts. Current players are always encouraged to tag new people on the TDM!
TDM threads can be used for spoon spending at any time by characters accepted into the game.
Content Warnings: hallucinations, poison, giant worm
One minute you were a falling star, but as your body reforms you become aware of one important detail: it's friggin hot.
That's because you've landed in a desert! Yes, you have had the misfortune of landing in Cruel Summer, the hottest and arguably most dangerous part of Folkmore. Lucky you!
The first bit of good news is that you're pretty sure you can see a train station off in the distance, although it's extremely difficult to judge exactly how far off due to the flatness of the terrain. The second bit of good news is that you have awoken with either a canteen of water, or an umbrella to keep the sun off. The third bit of news - good or bad, depending - is that you've awoken near another Star Child. Whoever this is will have the opposite gift than what you received; if you have water, they have an umbrella, and if you have an umbrella they have water. Well, you know what they say: sharing is caring! Undeniably the water is a touch more important, so hopefully whoever has it isn't a colossal dick.
As you trek through the desert towards the distant structure, you will notice periodically the air off to either side of you will shimmer. You may dismiss it as merely the heat playing tricks, but if you choose to investigate you will find mundane weapons like swords, guns, shields, etc.
At some point as you walk, you will feel a tremor beneath your feet. It grows in intensity until suddenly the sand sprays everywhere as something bursts forth from the earth below!
Wavering above you is a blood red worm. It is large - end to end it runs about thirteen feet - and its segmented hide is tough enough that rocks bounce right off of it. You might have more luck with bullets or bladed edges, but it's still going to be a tough fight. It also boasts some impressive offensive tricks; its mouth is ringed with many rows of fangs, and itspits a thick yellow acid that will corrode your skin and your weapons if you're not careful. If that wasn't enough, during your fight you might here a sudden brrrrrrrrrapppp! as the creature farts lightning at you. Hilarious... until it knocks you to the ground.
You would do well to work as a team to take this monster down. You and your partner might have powers or skills that could come in handy, or maybe you're quick on the uptake when it comes to any new abilities afforded you by your new role!
If you defeat the worm in battle, a golden chest will appear. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds - these rewards are especially likely to be any weapons you owned back home.
But hey, maybe you're a lover, not a fighter. There's no judgement here in Folkmore. You can outrun the worm instead if you're both fast and clever - finding any terrain that is more rock than sand will give you a decided advantage.
Once you have either defeated or escaped the worm, you will find that you come upon a small group of tents. Under their shade are first aid supplies, and kiosks manned by fennec foxes offering water, food, and shaved ice. Nice!
One minute you were a falling star, but as your body reforms you become aware of one important detail: it's friggin hot.
That's because you've landed in a desert! Yes, you have had the misfortune of landing in Cruel Summer, the hottest and arguably most dangerous part of Folkmore. Lucky you!
The first bit of good news is that you're pretty sure you can see a train station off in the distance, although it's extremely difficult to judge exactly how far off due to the flatness of the terrain. The second bit of good news is that you have awoken with either a canteen of water, or an umbrella to keep the sun off. The third bit of news - good or bad, depending - is that you've awoken near another Star Child. Whoever this is will have the opposite gift than what you received; if you have water, they have an umbrella, and if you have an umbrella they have water. Well, you know what they say: sharing is caring! Undeniably the water is a touch more important, so hopefully whoever has it isn't a colossal dick.
As you trek through the desert towards the distant structure, you will notice periodically the air off to either side of you will shimmer. You may dismiss it as merely the heat playing tricks, but if you choose to investigate you will find mundane weapons like swords, guns, shields, etc.
At some point as you walk, you will feel a tremor beneath your feet. It grows in intensity until suddenly the sand sprays everywhere as something bursts forth from the earth below!
Wavering above you is a blood red worm. It is large - end to end it runs about thirteen feet - and its segmented hide is tough enough that rocks bounce right off of it. You might have more luck with bullets or bladed edges, but it's still going to be a tough fight. It also boasts some impressive offensive tricks; its mouth is ringed with many rows of fangs, and itspits a thick yellow acid that will corrode your skin and your weapons if you're not careful. If that wasn't enough, during your fight you might here a sudden brrrrrrrrrapppp! as the creature farts lightning at you. Hilarious... until it knocks you to the ground.
You would do well to work as a team to take this monster down. You and your partner might have powers or skills that could come in handy, or maybe you're quick on the uptake when it comes to any new abilities afforded you by your new role!
If you defeat the worm in battle, a golden chest will appear. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds - these rewards are especially likely to be any weapons you owned back home.
But hey, maybe you're a lover, not a fighter. There's no judgement here in Folkmore. You can outrun the worm instead if you're both fast and clever - finding any terrain that is more rock than sand will give you a decided advantage.
Once you have either defeated or escaped the worm, you will find that you come upon a small group of tents. Under their shade are first aid supplies, and kiosks manned by fennec foxes offering water, food, and shaved ice. Nice!
Content Warnings: emotional trauma, impalement
Giant death worms aren't the only danger in the desert, they're just the most obvious.
Even if you avoided the worms entirely, you still have to make it to one of the train stations in Cruel Summer. As you trek across the dunes you will gradually become aware that over the sound of wind and shifting sand you can hear someone singing. You feel an urge to follow the sound to its source.
This song could be anything - one that exists in your world or others, or just a melody spun in the air for the first time. Whatever it is, it is heart rending; tears may spring your eyes as you follow the sound, precious moisture falling to the thirsty desert ground.
The singing is coming from a cactus. It is taller than most humanoid creatures, tinted purple and pink at the tips, with abnormally long spines. Its song reminds you sharply of some deep loss from your past, and at the same time inspires a terrible compulsion to go to the cactus and sink against it.
And what a relief it is, to embrace that melody and feel the spines slide easily through your flesh to pierce your heart. You do not bleed. By some strange alchemy, your heartache drains from your body as liquid, filling the cactus and causing its flowers to bloom and its song to cease.
You could very well stay pinned there, dying a slow death of desiccation, but lucky for you Star Children are all over the place this time of the month and someone is bound to see that you need help.
Trying to pry someone off of the cactus is impossible. The key lies in the flowers - they must be removed. When they are, sweet liquid will spray from the place where it had grown, dousing the rescuing Star Child. With this impromptu shower comes psychic flashes of the painful memory that has trapped the victim.
Once all of the blooming flowers have been removed, the cactus will retract its spines and release its prisoner. There will be no physical wounds left from this encounter.
You will also discover nearby that there is now a golden chest. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds, although none of these items are weapons.
Thankfully, you should be able to reach either Oozlum or Obambo Station without further incident. At either of these you will be able to get some water and supplies, as well as get the hell out of Cruel Summer.
Giant death worms aren't the only danger in the desert, they're just the most obvious.
Even if you avoided the worms entirely, you still have to make it to one of the train stations in Cruel Summer. As you trek across the dunes you will gradually become aware that over the sound of wind and shifting sand you can hear someone singing. You feel an urge to follow the sound to its source.
This song could be anything - one that exists in your world or others, or just a melody spun in the air for the first time. Whatever it is, it is heart rending; tears may spring your eyes as you follow the sound, precious moisture falling to the thirsty desert ground.
The singing is coming from a cactus. It is taller than most humanoid creatures, tinted purple and pink at the tips, with abnormally long spines. Its song reminds you sharply of some deep loss from your past, and at the same time inspires a terrible compulsion to go to the cactus and sink against it.
And what a relief it is, to embrace that melody and feel the spines slide easily through your flesh to pierce your heart. You do not bleed. By some strange alchemy, your heartache drains from your body as liquid, filling the cactus and causing its flowers to bloom and its song to cease.
You could very well stay pinned there, dying a slow death of desiccation, but lucky for you Star Children are all over the place this time of the month and someone is bound to see that you need help.
Trying to pry someone off of the cactus is impossible. The key lies in the flowers - they must be removed. When they are, sweet liquid will spray from the place where it had grown, dousing the rescuing Star Child. With this impromptu shower comes psychic flashes of the painful memory that has trapped the victim.
Once all of the blooming flowers have been removed, the cactus will retract its spines and release its prisoner. There will be no physical wounds left from this encounter.
You will also discover nearby that there is now a golden chest. Inside of it are items from your homeworlds, although none of these items are weapons.
Thankfully, you should be able to reach either Oozlum or Obambo Station without further incident. At either of these you will be able to get some water and supplies, as well as get the hell out of Cruel Summer.
2
[A feminine voice lamented to herself as she continued to trudge around the desolate landscape. This was just like the deadly desert only this time she didn't even have a camel to lighten the load. There was one thing she did have though, a canteen. So at least she wasn't in danger of dehydration yet, but she knew if she didn't find an oasis or something soon- that water wasn't going to last.
The seal on the cap had better be tight too or she could lose some of those precious droplets to evaporation.]
Of all the luck...
[Just when she thought it couldn't get worse, the ground began to shake. Emitting a sharp gasp, she leaned into a crouch to steady herself, getting tangled in the folds of her skirts. When the voice called out to her, she looked towards it's source her mood falling as if in the dip of a roller coaster when she saw who it was.]
Forget it, creep! You can handle this on your own. [Maybe it was a little unfair, and she might change her mind in a minute when it became obvious that this worm wasn't only going to focus on that koopa kid...] Besides, how do I know that this isn't some kind of underhanded scheme? [The kid could be in cahoots with the offending worm....]
[ooc:Look... I haven't finished canon review so.. um.. she doesn't recognize Iggy as Iggy, but he's clearly a koopa, ok.]
LMAO
Whoa! Hi, Princess! You're not supposed to be here-- [ Neither is he, but that's not the point. Something is way different about her, though... ]
Did you dye your hair? Also, you're so lucky that Lord Bowser isn't here right now--
[ The worm doesn't seem to discriminate, because it's rearing back and spewing acid at both of them right now. As far as he's concerned, he's on his own here-- and so is the princess. He doesn't have any personal beef with her, but she's not his ally, either.
...then again, if he lets anything happen to her, Bowser will absolutely skin him alive amd feed him to his beloved chain chomp.
So, he makes a split second decision. He reaches into his shell and retrieves his wand, rears back, and flings two spells fast enough that they counter the acid headed towards both of them... for now. ]
As much as I'd like to take credit, I just got here. Also, I'm not in the business of obliterating anyone except for your plumber friends, and they don't seem to be here!
no subject
You're telling me. [
but what's a dame to do?]Huh? No. It's always been this color, maybe you've just been out in the sun too long. [Parasol or no, it was a scorcher out here.] Now that's the biggest understatement I've heard since I've gotten here. [.. which isn't saying much since this koopa is literally the only person she's spoken to, but still. It's true]
Oh no! It's doing it again!
[Quickly searching the ground in the faint hope of finding some vegetation she could throw at the repugnant worm yields no results. She puts her arms before her as she recoils away, as if it might be enough to mitigate some of the damage. When she ends up not getting his with the suspicious goo, she glances at Iggy.]
Did you-? [Well, how annoyingly awkward. This means that he legitimately did help her, and he didn't have to after she was so nasty to him.] I'd thank you, but I think we should really focus on getting out of here first! [Reaching for his hand, she drags him into a run in the opposite direction of the worm. Running on sand is decidedly difficult, but it's better than being a pair of sitting ducks!]
no subject
So, I'm pretty sure if we let that stuff hit us, it's gonna he real painful. [ A pause... ] ...I wonder if I can catch it?
[ He can't, and doesn't get a chance to make an attempt, because her royal highness has grabbed his hand and is hilariously dragging him across the desert. ]
It's almost like you're kidnapping me this time! Ahahaha! This is great!
[ Sorry, Princess. He's still cackling as his legs finally kick in and he runs with her. He really wants to try and fight this thing, to take it down and see what makes it tick, but also... Princess.
The worm lets out an ear piercing roar and gives chase. Iggy opens his umbrella just in time to stop a spray of acid from raining down upon their heads. He watches as the umbrella immediately corrodes and falls apart. ]
...I don't think it's gonna stop chasing us any time soon Princess~ I can try to hold it off so you can get away if you want. It doesn't scare meeee~
no subject
Ew, why would you want to catch it?! [It looks beyond disgusting, and the sand is sizzling wherever it hits.] It's like you're a few tomatoes short of gazpacho. [Has she spent too much time with the Marios? Probably]
[She's so fixated on a strategic retreat that she just has to bear his insipid commentary.]
It would serve you right if I was!
[.. but she's not sure why that's quote unquote "great". This is one weird Koopa. They just aren't making enough headway in these conditions and the worm catches up easily to them, leading to a second time in which he ends up saving them both.]
... And leave you to fight it on your own? Don't you see how big that thing is?! [Reluctantly, she skids to a halt, and let's him go. The toe of her shoe just taps against something concealed in the sand.] ... I might have found something that could help us. [Squatting down she tries to uncover it.] You have any more tricks up your sleeves to distract him?
no subject
Why wouldn't I catch it? You know that I have Chain Chomps for pets, right? If I can train those things, I can train anything! [ Don't ask him how many times he's almost lost a limb or three to the Chain Chomps... ]
...You know, tomatoes sound really good right now-- [ He knows you're calling him crazy, though. It's nothing he doesn't already know, lady. ]
Hey! It's not like I've got anything against you personally! I just wanna seeord Bowser and Lord Junior be happy, that's all~ [ Also it means you'd be the distraction he needs to not play babysitter to Junior, but, details! ]
Yeah, I can handle it~ [ He thinks he can, at least. As they slow to a stop, he glances over at their wormy assailant, and then back at the princess, and he nods his head. ]
What? Yeah, of course I can. I dunno what you've got planned, so I hope you know what what you're doing. Go for it, I'll cover it! [ Turning away from her, he faces the angry worm. He inhales deeply, and blows out a few fireballs. He waves his wand and fires of a spell which multiples his fireballs from two to six. They slam into the worm, who shrieks in pain and rears back. ]
no subject
I guess you have a point but even Chain Chomps don't shoot acid. [So not only would he have to catch the worm, he'd also have to find a way to either muzzle it or neutralize that toxic gunk.]
Mario would probably say the exact same thing. [Luigi too, really. She let the conversation about his sanity slide to the wayside since it wasn't the more pressing concern.]
If that's your goal, have you ever considered that toadying up to that lizard-lipped layabout might actually be doing you more harm then good? If you think about it, King Koopa is only concerned with one thing, and it's not the quality of life of his subjects. [There. You get a speech.]
If this works, I'll only need a few minutes. [.. but truthfully she had no idea what was buried in the dirt. It could be a bob-omb or a power block... or a wilted rutabaga for all she knew.]
I hope I know too. [She replied a bit too honestly as she took to unearthing the item.]
no subject
Hold on. You know me! So you already know this...
[ How very sus. ] No, not yet they don't! [ With a little worm cross breeding though...]
Toadying up? Princess, I don't mean to be like, disrespectful or anything, but did you hit your head? Lord Bowser adopted my siblings and I when we were really little.
[ That speech sucks-- ]
Sure, sure. Take your time~ [ Because he is honestly having fun taunting the snake and flinging magic at it as it tries to spew acid on him. Iggy actually laughs when he nearly gets drowned in the good, barely able to duck out of the way in time. ] I still don't know where we are. This definitely doesn't feel like the Mushroom Kingdom...
no subject
Not ever, if I have any say about it. [Like heck she's going to just stand by and wait for you sleezeballs to come up with anything worse.]
Adopted? [The shock that flashed across her features was unmistakable] That sure doesn't sound like the Koopa I know. [The one that was always standing in the way of her raising funds for the Mushroom orphanage...]
[No speech that includes alliteration, sucks.]
[It's kind of amazing just how willing this kid is to hurdle himself at real danger without hardly batting an eye. When she manages to clear away a little more sand the object takes shape.] It's a..... it's a shield!? [Acid resistant, one hopes but not quite the sort of weapon she was hoping for. It does give her an idea though.] If.... we can just jam this into the creature's mouth, then it won't be able to spit anything else at us... but how can we get close enough to it's mouth?!
no subject
[ He laughs again, cleanly amused. It's so cute that she thinks she can stop him. ] Good thing you don't get a say in it! Ahahaha!
Mm? Yeah, adopted. Raised us like his own, we even called him dad once upon a time ago! Not so much these days, though. [ Not that he particularly cares. He hasn't ever been the closest with Bowser, choosing mostly to stay out of his way... when he wasn't causing chaos in the castle, at least. ] No? So if you don't remember any of that, I'm gonna blow your mind: he has a legit son named Junior. And Junior calls you Mama Peach, isn't that sweet~?
[ He actually considers throwing himself at the stupid thing when the princess announces she has a shield. Her question is a valid one, though, and his head tips. ]
If I had my clown copter, we'd be set... but I don't, so I guess one of us is gonna have to act as the bait. And I gladly volunteer, because Lord Bowser will have my head if I let anything happen to you, and also, why not? This is fun!
no subject
That's what you think. [.. And it's frustrating to her that he assumes her efforts will he completely ineffectual.]
Now that sounds like him. [Adopting a bunch of Koopa kids must have been one of reptiles passing interests. Honestly, he's had so many such diversions it's hard to keep up with them all. King Koopa has been like everything from a giant at a top of a beanstalk, to a roman emperor, to a leader of a bike gang... guess in a weak moment he wanted to attempt fatherhood. These poor kids.] Mama Peach?! [Holding a hand to her lips again] That doesn't sound sweet at all- it's more like a nightmare. [Wait. Waiiiit. Wait.] Who's his real mother? [Could Mrs. Koopa please reign her husband in please?]
[Iggy, no! Why would you ever!]
Well, I don't like it... but I guess we have no other choice. [Iggy was already acting as a distraction, and there was only so much he could do before this worm wised up. They'd just have to make do and go for it.] I'm ready when you are! Try to keep it's attention a little longer and I'll get in as close as I can to seal those lips of it's shut for good!
no subject
It's what I know. And believe me, Princess. I know a lot. [ Well. Mostly. ]
Does it? He's been pretty okay to us, honestly. He pretty much lets us do whatever we want and he trusts us with some pretty important things, including his own son's well being. He's actually a really good dad, even if he tends to be more of a helicopter dad towards Junior sometimes. Which is great, 'cause boy does Junior get embarrassed! HAHAHAHAHA! [ The very thought of poor Junior's cheeks flushing at a light scolding, or when his phone goes off when they're all out and about in the garden and the sound of a very concerned Bowser comes through the receiver is hilarious. He'll miss that. Despite their differences, Iggy's actually become pretty fond of Junior -- he won't admit it out loud, but he's practically like a little brother, and definitely a friend. ] Yeah, Mama Peach. It's pretty cute! Eh? No offense, Princess, but I don't even know who my mom is, let alone Junior's. Seriously, Lord Bowser has been pretty tight lipped on that. None of us have any idea, although he tried to convine Junior you were his mom a few years ago. Didn't work out so well.
[ BECAUSE WHY NOT?? ]
Noooo worries, Princess~ Consider it done! This thing can't worm its way out of this one-- AHAHAHAHAHA! [ This is probably fine, Princess. He just continues laughing his head off as he runs full speed towards the worm, flinging spells left and right at it, and doing his best to jump out of the way of any spewed goo or strikes. He almost trips on the hilt of a sword that's poking out of the sand, and while he could pick it up and use it as a legit weapon, he doesn't. That would be way too easy, and besides. Clearly, the princess needs her time to shine, and who is he to say no to her when she's got a really good idea?
While he ignores the sword, he does not, in fact, ignore the umbrella in his other hand. When the worm lunges close enough, he grins, flashing his fangs as he rears back and slaps the worm upside it's nasty head hard enough that it nearly splits the umbrella in two -- the poor thing is bent badly, and comically it flies open upon impact. The worm rears back and tries to shake its head, and it's clear it might legit be seeing stars right now. But that was just an umbrella, and it's only confused -- confusion will soon wear off. Best hurry up with that shield, princess! ]