folkooc | October 2022 Test Drive Meme

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*tdm

October 2022 Test Drive Meme

OCTOBER 2022 TDM

INTRODUCTION

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Welcome to Folkmore's monthly Test Drive Meme! Please feel free to test drive any and all characters regardless of your intent to apply or whether you have an invite or not.

All TDMs are game canon. You can choose to have your TDM thread be your introduction thread upon acceptance or start fresh. Each TDM will provide a scenario for how characters arrive in-game that particular month.

Playing TDMs will allow characters to immediately obtain canon items from homes especially weapons or other things they may have had on their person when they were pulled from their worlds! There will always be a prompt that provides some sort of "reward" to characters who complete certain tasks.

Current players are allowed to have in-game characters react to TDMs via the Network or make a log with the prompts. Current players are always encouraged to tag new people on the TDM!

TDM threads can be used for spoon spending at any time by characters accepted into the game.

[ Prompt One ★ Prompt Two]

SHINING

Content Warnings: Possible insanity via freezing. Temporary nullification of abilities.

COLD AS YOU

You were falling...

The world snaps into place all at once; you are laying on the ground, surrounded on all sides by towering bushes that stretch up towards a beautiful sunset sky. The bushes were clearly flowered at one point, but now the flowers have died and all that remains are browning leaves that are beginning to fall. On the chill air you can sometimes hear the sound of music, too faint to completely determine.

As you stand, you are filled with an intense desire to find someone. You might have an idea of who, but chances are you do not - you just know that somewhere ahead of you is someone that you need to reach. Whether they are friend or lover or enemy remains to be seen.

You wander the maze. If you're the impatient type and you have the ability, you might try to fly out but you will simply be vaulted right back down if you do. Something clearly expects you to play by rules which were never actually explained. As you move through the twisting passages of nature, you will notice that there is a frost creeping along the branches on either side of you. This frost brings a deep chill with it, and it encourages you to move faster, to find that nameless person now now now! If you take a very long time to wander the maze you may very well be on the verge of freezing and half mad with the desire to find someone. If you try to force your way through the bushes, the frost will crawl over your limbs and inspire both the freezing and near madness at once.

When you find your Person, the cold evaporates. The air suddenly feels merely crisp, and the leaves on the bushes seem more vibrant. The two of you now can focus on finding the way out - so much easier now - but any sense of urgency will have passed and you may just walk for hours, talking and sharing things about yourselves.

It is possible to solve the maze alone, but it is much easier (and more pleasant!) with someone else.

KEEP YOUR BRITTLE HEART WARM

When you exit the hedge maze you will find a stunning display of lights: hundreds of candles and lanterns decorate the ground and hang from trees, illuminating a clear path over a gently sloping hill. When you crest the hill you can look down and see a beautiful hot spring sprawled out below. It too is lit up by hundreds of lights, all of them glowing under the late autumn sky as it darkens towards night. There are changing rooms where you can stash your clothes (yes, there are bathing suits for the very shy) and bathing stations to ensure that you are clean before entering.

The water of the springs soothes madness and heals physical injuries or any frostbite that may have been sustained in the maze. It also relaxes you, making you perhaps more likely to open up to anybody else present.

The hot spring is staffed by many mice. They don't speak, but they squeak to one another in such a way that it sounds like they are singing - high lilting chants that seem to promise that everything will be okay. They are happy enough to band together to bring you towels or hot tea. The spring is open 24/7, always with lights to fight the cold and darkness of winter.

HIGH STRANGENESS

Content Warnings: Monster sighting, optional violence.

GLITCH

Folkmore has trains and of course the cat bus, but it also has roads, mostly utilized by horses and bicycles. Maybe you're looking for the convivence store, or maybe you just like walking. However it happens, you find yourself on a lonely road at dusk. It is unusually quiet, almost as if the world is holding its breath.

Suddenly you hear the sound of wings. A man-sized creature soars above you, something with huge red glowing eyes. It drops something at your feet: a walkie-talkie. The creature lands some distance away, staring at you, and a thought arises unbidden in your mind:

Help them.

The walkie crackles and you can hear someone speaking, asking if anyone is there. It is another Star Child, brought into this trial as well. They are in danger somewhere nearby; maybe stuck on the edge of a cliff, or trapped on a rope bridge - whatever it is, they need someone else to help them get to safety. If they have any powers, they have been temporarily nullified, but if the rescuer has powers they remain intact. That's where you come in! Using the walkie you must communicate with one another so that the rescuer can reach the person in trouble in time!

But what if you don't make it in time? Or decide that you're not the hero type? Well. The rescue-ee will suffer a terrible fate... for a few seconds. Then the entire world fuzzes and resets, but this time the roles have been reversed. Both parties will remember what has already happened, so if you just ran off into the woods with no intent of helping the first time you miiiight get your just desserts! This process will repeat over and over, people switching sides every time, until someone is finally rescued or the sun rises. Whichever comes first!

If you do succeed at a rescue, you will hear the rustle of huge wings once more. This time you don't see the mysterious creature, but you will find a mystery trunk. Inside you will each find some of your canon clothes and a canon item. Looks like teamwork is rewarded! Nearby, there will also be some unenchanted weapons sticking out of the ground: basic swords, guns, shields, etc.

BAD OMEN

You don't necessarily have to have completed the rescue trial to get some goodies, though! Those aforementioned weapons are scattered all over Folkmore. But if you just go to grab any of them you'd better be prepared to fight; after all, nothing comes for free!

As soon as you have pulled a weapon out of the ground, a tall, man in a black suit and hat will appear from seemingly nowhere and attack you. He has no weapons but he is extremely strong. He's also just really creepy - his face looks like it might be fake, somehow. The only way he can be killed is with a wound to the heart - any other supposedly mortal injury will result in another man in black appearing. It is possible for someone with no combat training to beat these creatures, but they really might appreciate a little help from someone with more experience!

The good news is that they won't mess up your clothes any, as none of these creatures bleed. Because that is totally normal.

Good luck!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Fortunate, he says. And Tech's not sure that's the word he would necessarily use. But it is something akin to it, isn't it? Because even if they have to start all over again with getting to know one another, they did find each other in an entirely different world. Jaskier didn't think he was mad when he explained their connection. And here they are once again, forging a different sort of connection.

Tech is sad to have lost what he had, but even if he didn't feel like it at first, there is still some kind of hope, right? Hope that if Tech ever does make it to Jaskier's world and has to meet him again for a third time (forth if the mares stuff could be counted), it wouldn't go immediately terrible. He will have gotten plenty of practice in by that point and have more than enough stories to share of their meeting and remeeting and meeting again -- plenty of fuel to bait Jaskier's interest.

So he glances over his shoulder and offers a faint smile. It's a touch solemn, but still earnest. ]

I guess I am.

[ He's about to say something else and pulls in the breath to do so, only to falter and return his gaze to the fire. It crackles and pops, a few ashy sparks flitting up and burning out around him. His hands plant on his knees and he pushes himself up to stand. ]

That's why...

[ His voice trails off, trying to find some certainty. Should he say this? He doesn't want to give Jaskier false hope. But if he could do it in hell, then certainly he could do it here as well. He'd find a way. Tech turns on his heel to face Jaskier again. ]

That's why I'm gonna get your lute back for you here, too. Because that makes a better story for you to tell.

[The first time Tech made that promise in Penance, Jaskier had balked at it. There'd been an immediate pushback that something like that wasn't necessary because it seemed like far too much risk for something as simple as a silly old lute. A silly old lute that held many memories and so much importance to Jaskier individually, but a silly old lute nonetheless. But this time when Tech makes the promise, there's a bit of a pause before a smile blossoms on Jaskier's face.]

It does sound a bit like one of those old stories about the gods, doesn't it? [He's teasing a little, of course, but not much. Jaskier recognizes the promise as a genuine and serious one and he would never genuinely make light of it. But it's a bigger promise than Jaskier knows he can possibly understand right now and he doesn't really know how to cope with it any further than to at least tease lightly even in his gratitude.] A god so enamored by the talent of a mortal that he's willing to go to the very ends of the world for a gift worthy of it. Although I imagine it will have been much more impressive the first time around. Being in Hell and all.

[Jaskier's gaze turns distant for just a moment as he looks past Tech into the dark of the rest of the maze ahead of them and he tries to imagine it. It must have been terrible for Jaskier to be without his lute. Oh, he certainly would have made due and found ways of still composing songs because it's simply what he does. Music is in some ways part of his very essence much in the way that sleeping, eating, and breathing are. But it wouldn't have been the same without his lute. Jaskier would have felt lost without it. And Tech made sure it made its way back into his hands all the same. Whatever risks were involved, whatever he had to sacrifice, he did what it took to get that silly old lute back in Jaskier's hands. He lifts his gaze back to Tech wondering, did he already love Jaskier then? Was that his first grand gesture of love to bring that which brings Jaskier more fulfillment and joy in life than anything else? Or was it nothing all that special at the time? It could have just well seemed a small thing to him without knowing how much it would mean.]

[Unfolding his arms, Jaskier nods to the spot next to him as a way of inviting Tech to sit back down beside him. Whether he does or not, Jaskier keeps his eyes on Tech.]

There's probably no point in telling you that you don't owe me anything, is there? Because that's not what this is about.

[It's not debt. It's not an obligation.]

[It's love. Pure and simple.]

[And that's what makes the promise feel bigger than Jaskier thinks he can fully understand. Just like the words earlier aren't for him, this promise really shouldn't be his either. He's half-tempted to reach out for Tech's hand, but he doesn't in the end. He keeps them folded neatly in his lap instead.]

Just don't do anything stupid for it, yeah? I'll be very cross with you otherwise. So cross, in fact, I'll hold a grudge. And I'm quite infamous for my ability to hold a grudge, you know. I'm sure that's not something I ever mentioned or demonstrated to you as I will admit, it's one of my uglier qualities.

[He winks at Tech as though he's just let him in on a very well-guarded secret even though Jaskier knows it absolutely is not. Jaskier's always been petty enough to hold a grudge against whomever for whatever perceived slight he's experienced. Tech absolutely would have been witness to it at some point or another.]

If you can get it with little trouble, that's fine. But, [he says, holding up a finger and pausing for a moment for dramatic effect.] Nothing stupid. Nothing dangerous. I can always find another lute, but I don't believe I'm about to find another Tech. They're certainly rarer than any silly old Jaskier.

[ At Jaskier's nod, Tech slowly makes his way back over and resettles beside him. Not as close as they were before because it's a little much to sit right against Jaskier with so much space on the log. But close enough to feel intimate, which he starts to wonder if he should have put more space between them. A companionable distance. Maybe that's more comfortable. He doesn't know. He doesn't know what he should be doing, what he shouldn't be doing. Maybe offering to get the lute out loud was a bad call because even Tech's not too sure of his reasoning. On the surface, he'd claim it's because Jaskier needed to create music. And Tech wants him to be doing what came naturally, sharing what made him so lovable, creating and never ever stagnating.

But there's no real reason Tech specifically has to be the one to get it. Like Jaskier says, he could find another lute. Which is perhaps another sign Jaskier is different -- he hasn't had the years with the lute, hasn't fallen in love with her and written countless songs in his love, joy, grief and despair. It's easy enough for him to play on another lute because he lacks the history with this one. But it becomes important to him back home and so it should be important to him here as well. Gifted from a god who comes from a history of loving the man he will become, a symbol of that love -- to be cherished and protected in some way. This version of Jaskier might never love Tech, but he would love the lute. ]

A god isn't easily hurt or killed. So long as someone still believes in them.

[ He looks at Jaskier for a moment and then averts his gaze uncertainly. ]

So if you believe in me, nothing's dangerous. Or stupid. And just hearing your music makes a lot of things worth it.

[ Tech swings one foot forward, kicking aside a few leaves before his fingers fold together and rest on his lap. ]

But I promise. Nothing risky. Even if I think you're highly overselling the Tech thing. You didn't even know one existed until maybe an hour ago? You can easily live an entire life without ever missing it.

[ He tries to keep it as a joke. Just some playful banter, but the pain still folds in on the edges of his words. Because Jaskier ultimately will live a whole life never recalling meeting him. Nothing Tech does or says will impact an eighteen year old Jaskier in his homeworld. It's not like all of these diverging timelines will suddenly unify. All they have are the moments this place gives them and Tech's unfortunately unfaltering memory. ]

[There was likely going to be a bit of quiet from Jaskier. Not to say that Jaskier lacks confidence in his own merit as both musician and composer, but he's quite used to receiving the opposite commentary. Most tend to complain and make whatever unkind comparison to some noise they dislike long before they ever pay Jaskier any sort of compliment. And some of that is perhaps by his own design, he supposes. There had been a couple of nights with an empty belly before Jaskier realized that if he was to get a hot meal, it would not be as a reward for his talents. Most of the people he's performing for have no use for music, after all. So, in seeing no value to it, there is no need for them to provide him with something to eat or drink after he put everything he could into a performance for them. Thus, Jaskier resorted to tunes that were less enjoyable if not at times outright insulting to not go hungry again. It's really only with the prospect of Geralt that Jaskier thinks perhaps he can finally play as he's always meant to now that there's much less risk of going hungry for his efforts.]

[But before he can dwell too much in the compliment that both at once feels validating as hell and unearned, Tech attempts a joke that lands completely flat for him. Jaskier's softer expression falls to a pinched one. It's not like some of the things Tech said earlier that were meant to push Jaskier away by trying to convince him that it was a bad idea to pursue any sort of relationship with Tech. Jaskier can recognize that. But it edges closer to some of those softer remarks that came after wherein Tech was almost suggesting he be akin to a spirit in Jaskier's life and his presence is there but hardly felt. So, Jaskier decides in the end, he can't entirely let the comment slide or allow it to sit as a joke. He shakes his head.]

That sounds like a pile of horseshit, Tech. [Unfolding his hands from his lap, Jaskier leverages himself enough that he can more comfortably turn to face Tech without dragging on the rough bark beneath him. The knee closest to Tech bumps gently into his leg in the process, but Jaskier doesn't particularly care and doesn't slink back into his own space.] It's true that I could go my entire life without having met you just as you've clearly gone through several without me. But think about it, Tech. It's obvious just by looking at us that we come from completely different worlds. And granted, I don't know how often it is that other worlds come into contact with yours, but the last time that happened in my world was nearly two thousand years.

And yet, here we are. In another world between worlds. [Jaskier reaches over, placing his hand over Tech's folded ones.] Together.

[He gives Tech's hands a light squeeze.]

Now, whether you believe in Destiny or not, I don't think that really matters. We've still managed to do something that's only happened once in two thousand years by my world's standard even if it's been a bit imperfect and not entirely what was intended. [Or wanted. But Jaskier leaves that bit out. Tech hasn't made that many overt comparisons, and certainly hasn't made any since he revealed that it wasn't his first time meeting Jaskier.] So, forgive me, but I simply don't think not knowing you is all that much of an option at this point. And I'm happy that it's not for admittedly selfish reasons, but happy nonetheless.

[Jaskier doesn't bother outlining his selfish reasons. He trusts Tech is smart enough and knows Jaskier well enough that he doesn't need it to be spelled out to him. Jaskier's never been one to do well on his own. He thrives in the company of others and it hardly matters if it's only one person. And Jaskier can't imagine that he's changed so much in the intervening years that the thought of having someone who adores him so would appeal to him any less. Tech must know that even as Jaskier is somewhat fumbling his way through the unwarranted affection, trying so hard not to take more than he ought to have a claim to, he loves the attention. Craves it.]

And that right there—being happy just by virtue of having met you—is the exact reason why it will always have been a tragedy for me to not know you. No one else in all the Continent, this world, the other, or yours could do something like that for me.

[The look Jaskier gives Tech in the few moments after that is meaningful. He doesn't want Tech to think he's talking nonsense whether it's false niceties or trying to speak on something he doesn't fully know or understand. It's much like Geralt, Jaskier thinks. Someone who has gone so long without another at their side that they don't know how exactly to accept that someone might find value in that place. Except with Geralt, Jaskier had a firmer excuse for being there than I'm supposed to be. He made a promise to try and help Geralt's reputation and that's what he needed to do. Here there are no such promises to be kept because... Well, even if there are lingering promises, Jaskier's not exactly the one who they were made with. But Jaskier is still choosing to be here much like Tech is. And that counts for something.]

[Jaskier lifts his hand away from Tech's hands to pinch his cheek roughly and shake him a bit. Any swatting at his hand will cause Jaskier to let go, but does nothing to stop his smile or laughter.]

So! No more of that talk. Because I won't entertain anything to the contrary of what I've just said! Understand me, old man?

[ When Jaskier starts to speak, Tech looks at him in moderate surprise. Yeah, maybe it wasn't a very funny joke, but he didn't expect Jaskier to argue it. Maybe pull a disapproving frown and move on. But instead he lingers. He draws near. His knee bumps Tech's and remains there. Tech immediately fixates on it -- Jaskier's warmth searing his skin. It's difficult enough to focus on Jaskier's words as it is, but when his hand warmly covers Tech's, his heart beats in his throat. Tech swallows and tries not to make any sudden moves, whether to flinch away or turn his hand under Jaskier's to capture his fingers.

His eyes flicker up to meet Jaskier's again. And fuck it all. Here he is again in a position where he should be keeping his distance -- both for Jaskier's sake and his own. Tech's heart has already been shattered and Jaskier's is vulnerable. This is a door that should truly stay closed at least for some time...until the both of them knew what they were getting into. But it's too late. It was too late when they ran into each other and it's too late now. Everything feels like it's spiraling out of control and he scrambles to find some purchase. Does he scoot back? Does he lean in?

Jaskier emphasizes together and Tech is completely sold. Yes, yes. They've found each other twice in two different worlds. They were magnetized to one another. Destiny might have had a little nudge, but everything else is them. This is them. Being from two different worlds, virtually having nothing in common and yet finding this common ground. Finding warmth and comfort in one another, no matter how the world around them fell apart. Jaskier doesn't know him, but he's staying. He's happy. And in the moment, while staring into his eyes...it's enough. It's enough for Tech to forget he's not someone worthy of Jaskier's happiness and adoration and maybe even love.

When Jaskier's hand uncovers his and rises, Tech expects it to cup his cheek. He expects the other hand to settle against his chest. And he inches ever slightly closer as though their lips are going to meet. But instead, Jaskier pinches his cheek to tease him and the spell is broken. Reality settles in the pit of his stomach. Fuck. What an idiot he is. And how fortunate he was Jaskier was there to save him from his idiocy.

He balks and wags a shooing hand at Jaskier's to usher it away, nursing his cheek with a sullen look. ]

Old man. Seriously? Fucking rude.

[ He huffs and uses that opportunity to turn his head to the side like a sulking child. Hopefully it spares Jaskier from realizing what almost happened only a few moments ago. He's not sure what to say to any of what Jaskier said, so for a short window, he doesn't say anything at all. And when he finally does, it's with a seemingly different topic altogether. ]

There's a god in stories I've encountered known as Orpheus. He was said to have been able to play such enchanting music on his lyre no monster or beast could resist his melodies. He could even drown out the sirens with his beautiful music and keep men safe on their journeys across the sea. One day, he was playing in the woods when he encountered his would-be wife Eurydice. And I imagine they spent hours, Orpheus playing for her while she listened to his music. The story glosses over the bit where they fell in love, treating it like only a few sentences that lead to marriage. But it's easy to imagine it over a cozy fire in a frosty woods.

[ Tech's hands brace themselves on the trunk and he looks toward the fire quietly. ]

Their love ends in tragedy. Eurydice gets bitten by a snake and dies. And Orpheus, wrought with grief, travels all the way to hell to bring her back to him. He plays his music for the devil and the devil agrees to let him bring her back so long as the entire time they are escaping the underworld, he doesn't look back. If he looks back at her, she will be doomed to eternal damnation. So he agrees and does well for most of the journey, even though it concerns him he can't hear her behind him. They get to the exit, and...

[ He trails off there. Tech knows the ending of their story. The first rays of light touch Orpheus's face and he turns back to embrace his wife, only to realize because she was a few steps behind him...he has damned her. He tries to reenter hades and is barred entrance, for a living soul can only enter the underworld once. But Tech doesn't finish because it should be clear the parallels he's drawing between him and Jaskier and this story -- both of them sharing the role of Orpheus and Eurydice at various points. Don't look back. But could Tech stop himself? And by looking back, would he never see what was in front of him? Would he lose something forever? ]

I...I don't remember how it ends.

[ He lies, and it's quite obvious he's lying because Tech doesn't want to tack on such a depressing ending to this thing. ]

[Jaskier doesn't believe Tech, of course, when he says he doesn't remember how it ends. As someone whose job it is to tell story after story, Jaskier knows which are the bits that are remembered and which are forgotten. The beginning is usually pretty easy to remember if only because the exposition is what captures the audience's attention and gives them a reason to care. It's the middle that's usually a bit muddled and even Jaskier's been guilty of occasionally making something up when the details have managed to escape him. But the ending? Oh, that's the bit that sticks with everyone. It's the last thing the audience shares with the characters and their plights, and it's where their deepest feelings and self-reflections are sparked.]

[So, he doesn't believe Tech when he says he can't remember how it ends. Of course, he remembers. It's just not an ending he wants to tell. It's not the ending that he wants for him and Jaskier.]

[Because Jaskier isn't an idiot. Setting aside that stories are his trade and that he's always held such a passion for them even as a boy, he isn't thick. He knows Tech is telling this story because he sees them in it. It's the reason why anyone tells any story at the end of the day. There's something in those stories that they feel connection and meaning.]

Well, that's the beauty of stories, you know. If you can't remember how it goes, you're the storyteller. You end it the way you want it to end. [Jaskier nudges him with his knee intentionally this time as he tips his head in genuine curiosity.] So, go on, darling. How does your story end?

[Not the story. Jaskier isn't interested in how the story's been told countless times by equally countless tellers. Not our story. Jaskier doesn't think it's really his to claim just yet when he's only just entered into it and is still doing his best to find his bearings. Your story. A story told by a god— No, a man who says he's never had the choice of it all before, and that's all he's ever yearned for in all his lifetimes. A chance to live by his own choosing. And so, perhaps he's not there just yet as far as living it. But this is something, Jaskier thinks.]

[It's a beginning.]

[ His eyes linger on the knee that's nudged him and to Jaskier's question, Tech's tempted to shrug. To claim he doesn't know and leave it at that. A dissatisfying ending for a story that hasn't finished yet -- that he can't clearly see. There's no way to predict anything when it comes to them. And yes, he knows Jaskier's not asking for their story. For one, because he's the co-author of that. And for two, their story had only just begun from his perspective...so it's not really ready for any sort of ending. But after drawing the comparison between Orpheus and Eurydice and them, how does he finish the story without tying them into it?

Still Tech knows what awaits him if he doesn't give an answer. Jaskier's ribbing commentary about Tech being a terrible storyteller. And he is in a way. Tech's not the one who comes up with stories. All the stories he knows are ones written by other people. And Tech's the one that repeats them, that spreads them in their digital form and lets them live on in the digital age -- only a click away. Some of the old gods truly should thank him for allowing their myths to remain only a late night google away.

Tech leaves Jaskier hanging a little while longer, picking at a piece of upraised bark as he tries to think of a suitable end. And then, he finally says: ]

They get to see the sunrise together. And they live happily ever after.

[ It's a very childish and simple ending. The sort that would be tacked onto whimsical fairy tales that were made more palatable for younger children. The ending where the good guys always win, the bad guys always get their comeuppance, and there's nothing more noteworthy to say about their lives other than they were happy thereafter. But in Tech's idealized fantasy, in his story -- it's always been a private hope kept beneath a pessimistic veneer that one day he'd find happiness.

Today is not that day. But maybe another. He just hasn't found his way out of hell yet, but maybe someday -- so long as he looked forward and not back. Maybe he'd find it. ]

[Jaskier exhales through his nose in light amusement. He's not really laughing at Tech though. He can recognize there's a certain degree of vulnerability in answering that question, and the fact there's an answer at all is fairly remarkable all on its own. It's not something Jaskier should take for granted at the very least. But there is something sweet in its simplicity.]

All that build-up and I was expecting something a bit more dramatic, [he teases lightly. A thought occurs to him to ask Tech how he thinks he would have ended it if he were here to give his perspective, but he doesn't give in to the impulse. It's not particularly fair of him to ask in such a roundabout way what Jaskier had envisioned for their future together. It's also really none of his business and something Tech should be afforded all privacy over. Instead, he says,] But I know what you're getting at with that ending. Just as Eurydice trusted Orpheus to lead the way out of that dark, terrible place, Orpheus trusted Eurydice to never stray too far. And it was that powerful bond that saw them through a great number of adventures. Far too many to tell, but also none nearly so important as that first sunrise together. The one that both were quietly afraid they might never see together, but never gave up hope that they might because they loved each other.

And love is far more powerful than anything else in this world or the next.

[Much like the telling of the siren, Jaskier's hardly still while he builds upon the scraps of Tech's proposed ending. It's less childish, of course. The topic demands that he be significantly less so. But he still makes the occasional gesture with his hands, and he leans in when it's appropriate to do as much, all in an effort to keep the attention on him. As if they were seated in a crowded tavern with all sorts of noise and other spectacles for Jaskier to compete with. Except it probably doesn't really require that much effort. Setting aside for a moment that Jaskier doesn't have any competition sans the fire and that hardly puts up much of an obstacle, Jaskier is also more sincere and genuine than most.]

[He's not speaking of them, of course. The spark of interest, that something that shapes itself into a kind of love that Jaskier so often feels when speaking to someone like this? It's not at all what used to (or, from Jaskier's perspective, will) be there between Tech and Jaskier (someday). Jaskier needn't experience the alternative for himself to know there's no comparison. But he is still speaking his mind as always and it's without a doubt that even at his age now, even without all the experiences that two or so decades more will afford him, Jaskier believes so strongly in love above all else.]

[Because it is love through both its presence and absence, its gift and loss, that inspires so much. Both good and bad and everything in-between can somehow find its root within love.]

So, of course they lived happily ever after.

[ Tech might have countered a question to Jaskier's commentary about expecting something more dramatic, asking if he thought it was a bad ending. But he snowballs into an ending of his own -- or rather an elaboration of Tech's. And Tech is quiet throughout it. The ending itself draws multiple questions from Tech. Questions he doesn't give voice to, but ponders and worries all the same. Should he give this first sunrise to Jaskier as he is now? Or should he turn back, find his way to the underworld where he can liberate his Jaskier who may very well still be trapped? And if he took Jaskier's hand and tried to lead him out of the darkness, would he even come with Tech? Or would he insist on staying behind with Geralt and Yennefer because if they couldn't get out together, he would not abandon them?

And its in that thought that he realizes the terrible position this Jaskier is in. A position where he might not be deemed worthy or preferable. A position where he could get abandoned in favor of, while still himself, also someone else. Tech has sat in that position -- of not being deemed not good enough. Of being someone's second choice. Abandoned. Left behind on a mountain. It hasn't happened to Jaskier yet, and with dawning horror, Tech sees himself in Geralt's shoes. Either way he looks at it, he broke a promise to Jaskier to never leave him behind. One remains abandoned in hell, the other stands to remain abandoned in this world. And while this version of Jaskier hasn't come to a point of feeling he needs Tech in his life more than likely, it still might sting to feel unworthy.

Someone doesn't get a happy ending. Because happy endings are just the dreams of fools. But even so, even so... ]

I think what's most important is that Orpheus didn't look back. Because then he would have missed everything in front of him.

[ Tech glances at Jaskier and then up toward the sky. After a quiet beat, he adds: ]

....but I should still probably go back and get that ring, huh?

[ Because even if he's not trying to look back, that doesn't mean he should forget. Jaskier can't be thrown away like that. If this is the only piece of the past he has, he should carry it forward into the future. Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. ]

[Jaskier supposes that it shouldn't really matter one way or another to him if Tech goes back for the ring given that it's not a decision that really impacts him. But he smiles at the question all the same. In fact, Jaskier's smile is almost giddy, threatening to break into a grin when Tech floats the idea that he ought to go back for it. Because yes, to some extent, it is looking back. Inarguably, it's looking back and that should bother him a bit because every time Tech looks back, Jaskier knows he's being compared to some extent or another.]

[But at the same time, it's not really. In its own way, it's still an act of looking forward and saying that whatever future Tech and Jaskier designed for themselves was something worth holding onto. It's hope that can't be taken away even as the grief still lingers. And it's that exact hope that might allow for something else to be here, for a friendship of their own making to be forged that doesn't necessarily need to be ghosted by the Jaskier Tech knew because there's trust that he'll be there again someday. And Jaskier right now doesn't have to be second best.]

It might not be such a bad idea, [he says with a light shrug.] If you want to go back and get it now, I can wait here. Or you can go when it's light out and a bit easier to see.

Either way, it is a rather nice ring, and seems a terrible waste to leave it out here in the elements. [Jaskier repositions himself once more to sit on the log facing towards the fire rather than towards Tech.] I will grant myself that in the future. I clearly maintain my impeccable taste to have spent my coin on a ring as clearly timeless as that. Although...

[Jaskier smacks Tech in the side. It's more playful than it is ever meant to actually hurt.]

That's for calling my doublet stupid earlier. I'm sorry your eyes are failing you in your old age and you can't tell how strikingly handsome I am in it even if it's gotten a bit dirty. [And it has. Between getting knocked unconscious and being lugged off to the cave that the elves had hidden away in, his clothes were in need of a bit of a wash from dust and dirt. He's just grateful he isn't having to figure out how to get blood out of any of it.] But that's no reason to call into question my tastes like that. I mean, have you paid any attention to the embroidery? That I was able to afford any silk embellishments at all is impressive when you consider how little coin I've managed to earn so far, too.

Or is it you are just unsatisfied if clothes don't make that horrid little scratchy noise?

[As if Tech needed the scratchy noise explained or otherwise demonstrated, Jaskier continues his hassling of Tech by replicating the sound he discovered when he was wearing it earlier through a touch to his arm and manipulating the fabric.]

[ He glances over his shoulder toward the dark stretches of woods they'd just come from. The trees guard the path, their sword branches almost barring entry. Eerie. It makes going back alone seem like a dreadful idea. Tech very quickly decides to wait until it's light to get the ring. Maybe he can escort Jaskier to safety and then double back for it. It was his own fault for dropping it. No reason Jaskier needs to walk any more for the sake of Tech's impulsivity.

Tech returns his gaze to Jaskier at the light slap, raising his brows as Jaskier jumps to the defense of his doublet. Brows raise even higher when his own attire is called into question. And once Jaskier starts to manipulate the fabric, Tech finally tugs his sleeve back. ]

It's waterproof. You guys just walk through the rain and moisture getting soaked, whereas this...

[ Tech looks around for some source of water to demonstrate. He leans back and collects a bit of dew from one of the plants beside him, dabbing it against the material of his jacket to showcase how the droplet rolls off with no trace it had even been there. ]

See? Nothing. If it were to rain right now, you would be shit out of luck since you gave me back the jacket. You could've stayed dry, but nooo.

[ He holds up his hands in faux innocence. As though Tech himself hadn't been the one to push Jaskier near the brink of leaving. Tech then leans forward, arms crossing over his knees as he looks at the fire again. ]

But my god. The doublet is awful. I don't know why round puffy sleeves like that was ever a thing, but it didn't look good back then and it sure doesn't look good now. Thank fuck you come to your senses when you're older.

[There's a bit of sputtering from Jaskier as he recoils in offense that exists somewhere between playfulness and absolute seriousness. One thought attempts to be spoken only to be abruptly interrupted by another that is similarly abandoned in favor of yet another. Stopping himself, Jaskier shakes his head furiously, throwing up his hands as though too upset to know where to start and therefore abandoning any defense of his sartorial choices altogether. But his hands slap down onto his thighs and Jaskier is up on his feet.]

First of all, my sleeves are not puffy, [he says, as he steps a couple of paces away.] Unlike some bards that I could name but will not, I'm not so insecure about the width of my shoulders that I feel the need to give the illusion through fabric that I possess broader shoulders.

[As he's talking, Jaskier is rebuttoning his doublet. Up until now, he'd left it completely open which was perhaps not the wisest thing to do as the maze grew progressively colder around him. Unfortunately, by the time he thought to do something about it, the thought of manipulating the buttons with frozen fingers seemed too tall an order. It was far easier to merely pull the fabric together and allow his tightly folded arms to hold it in place instead.]

And while I cannot exactly fault you for failing to attend to any sort of detail considering I haven't been wearing mine properly since we met, you are focusing on the incorrect element. It isn't about the sleeves, you foolish man. [He turns to face Tech, standing between him and the fire now that he's done buttoning it up. Or, well, as far as Jaskier tends to button it. If there's one trend that Jaskier appears to have maintained throughout the years, it's his preference for a V neckline even if it's not yet quite as deep as Tech is accustomed to seeing Jaskier sporting. He takes a moment to adjust his shirt before gently tugging at the bottom hem of his doublet as though to smooth out any folds in the fabric that might have formed.] A well-fitted doublet ought to look like this.

[Jaskier spreads his arms slightly to add to his demonstration for Tech to see that even with a slight amount of puff to the very tops of his sleeves, the doublet itself actually fits quite snugly against Jaskier's form. Even the silk embellishments Jaskier mentioned lend themselves to following his overall silhouette as the top portions of the red vertical stripes running parallel to the line of buttons reveal a soft golden fabric beneath only to narrow and close once more at the same point where Jaskier's torso begins to narrow.]

You really mean to tell me this doesn't look good to you? At all?

[He rests his hands on his hips, fixing Tech with a scrutinizing look as though it would be impossible to get any sort of lie past Jaskier about his opinion.]

[ When Jaskier jumps to the adamant defense of his doublet, Tech's expression takes on a very sarcastic okay, sure sort of air. Tech should tell Jaskier to save his breath because he's preaching to a brick wall here, but he's pretty sure that would make him just all the more adamant about convincing him. So he says nothing through the tirade, only wrinkling his nose a bit when Jaskier puts himself into his line of vision with the now "done up" doublet. As though that's going to change things.

And when Jaskier awaits a response, Tech pauses for way too long. The easiest thing to do would be to lie so Jaskier can drop the topic. But that he paused so long before he speaks doesn't exactly make what he next says all the more convincing. ]

It's...fine.

[ And Tech Boy genuinely gives it a good try to leave it at that, maintains eye contact with Jaskier and everything. But ultimately, he shoots himself in the foot. He can't do it. Lying to Jaskier had never been his strong suit. Hands raise as he gives up. ]

It's not, actually. Still hate it. But whatever, man. You do you. Everyone goes through that awkward fashion phase at some point or another. You're definitely coming to the wrong person about fashion anyway considering how much I saw you sans clothes, and how much I preferred you that way.

[There's a blink when Tech says he still hates it. And when Jaskier is accused of an awkward fashion phase, Jaskier looks mildly taken aback before looking down at himself. Frowning as he looks back up, there's a bit of tension that arises in his shoulders in an instinctive effort to keep from deflating and showing any sign that the comments managed to provoke a reaction at all despite that it's perhaps too little, too late for that. Jaskier's skin isn't exactly brittle, but neither is it particularly thick when he doesn't have as many accomplishments to call upon when feeling even mildly insulted or criticized. So, he's absolutely doing as many his age do by inflating what little they can take pride and confidence in lieu of something a bit more legitimate. And while such a cocksure attitude certainly carries one far until there are genuine accomplishments to take such pride in, any sort of chink in that armor feels more like a gaping hole that one never has any idea what to do with.]

[So, the compliment that follows doesn't land, and unlike the Jaskier Tech knew, there's no turning it into a playful little tease in an attempt to get Tech closer to him again and spark another way to spend the evening aside from just talking. He stands there for a moment, silent as he's grasping at what to possibly say back.]

Yeah, well... [He starts quietly.] I'm not taking fashion advice from someone who looks like they're dressed in a...in a bag. [It's not his best work, but he's a little too flustered to come up with anything better. Jaskier turns away from Tech then, moving a little closer to the fire and sitting down there, feigning that it's because he's cold and not because he's tending to a bruised ego. He tugs at his sleeves a little before drawing his knees closer.] And even if that wasn't pisspoor advice on your part and that was an attempt to see if you could get me to take it off, then you're even worse at that.

[He looks over his shoulder back at Tech.]

For future reference, most people are willing to take their clothes off if you compliment them, not insult them. Especially when you already know someone's put thought into their clothes and not just thrown whatever on.

[Jaskier looks at Tech a moment longer before he turns back towards the fire, resting his chin on his knees. He's sulking. He knows he's sulking. But there's little point in continuing to put up a front about it.]

[ This side of Jaskier is a stark reminder of his age -- the youth in him that's easily let down because for him this is something important. Whereas the Jaskier Tech had known had lived through many terrible, heartbreaking let downs. That Jaskier could accept Tech's lack of acceptance of his attire. Sure, he'd try and sell it -- speak at length about the finery and its details. But it wasn't a hill he would choose to die on. Or...sulk on as is the case here.

Tech blinks when Jaskier calls his outfit a bag and then moves off to the fire. A sigh escapes him and it dawns on him that he should probably correct Jaskier's assumption -- say that it wasn't any sort of attempt to get him out of his clothes and that he's not looking to hook up. Except he realizes it would probably only hurt his bruised ego even more. So Tech thinks for a moment -- what would Jaskier, his Jaskier, do? Well, he probably would have had more tact than to find himself in this situation in the first place, but aside from that. He would have tried to lighten the mood, to back off the topic and inspire something else for the other person to take confidence in.

Slowly, Tech pushes off of the log and walks over to Jaskier, settling beside him -- not too close but companionable. For a little while, he says nothing and lets the fire carry the conversation -- crackling and popping as it licks along the wood. ]

You have nothing to prove.

[ He starts, voice soft and private. Words for Jaskier and Jaskier alone as though the trees were listening. ]

To me, to anyone, to the entire fucking world...this one or yours. If what you're wearing makes you happy, then that's what matters. And I can just fuck off with my opinion. Me and my bag.

[ He cracks a little smile and leans over to gently nudge Jaskier with his shoulder before settling back into place. ]

I don't know what other people wear here. I don't even know if there are other people or whether this entire world is just you and me. But even if there isn't anyone else, you don't gotta seek my approval. Because no matter what you wear, you're still beautiful. Beauty doesn't come from outside. Beauty, real beauty comes from here.

[ His hand moves in to settle on Jaskier's chest, lingering over his heart for a few beats before it retracts into his own space. What Tech said wasn't quite like Jaskier. Jaskier would have been more poetic or tender. He would have said the exact right thing because he would have known the exact right thing to say. Tech could never be Jaskier and Jaskier wouldn't have wanted him to be. But Tech could adopt the traits he admired and apply them to himself -- to be more considerate and compassionate. To be more patient and understanding. To make an effort to lift this man Tech will one day love so much and fill him with the confidence he will find on his own someday. ]

So...

[ Tech could let the heartfelt moment remain there, but there's an ever-present concern about overstepping. Jaskier wanted to be friends, so Tech finishes it off with a bit of friendly teasing -- to ensure the space remains companionable. ]

Buck up, buttercup.

[ There's a playful smile and he leans forward to feed a few more branches into the fire. ]

[Without turning his head, Jaskier glances at Tech in his periphery when he comes to settle on the grass beside him. He knows he should probably make an effort and say something to spurn on better conversation instead of fixating on his bruised ego. That would be the mature thing to do. It's the sort of thing that any bard would do, too. And there's a part of him that wants to the longer the silence continues and it's nothing but the sounds of the forest and the fire in front of them continuing on. It's that exact kind of silence that tends to make Jaskier's skin crawl and he usually feels the impulse to say literally anything to settle himself down once more. But Jaskier doesn't feel that impulse right now and he thinks, honestly, it has very little to do with Tech or what he's said in the end.]

[It's been an incredibly long day. He's tired. It's alright, he tells himself, if he just needs a little more time than usual to get his feet back under him in a conversation.]

[But before he can get all the way there, Tech begins to finally speak. Jaskier doesn't have it in him to look at Tech—not when he's speaking so quietly—but he lifts his head and sits up a little. That seems the least he can do. And despite himself, he smiles a little before Tech even offers one and nudges him. Me and my bag. It's so fucking stupid and he shouldn't be so tempted to laugh or playfully push Tech away. Ultimately, Jaskier does neither, but his efforts to hide his smile are poor at best. And it's only made worse when Tech starts to call him beautiful because gods, what a ridiculous thing to say. It sounds like the sort of thing Jaskier would say if he couldn't get his words in order and were it not for Jaskier's sincerity in saying them, they'd be easily mistaken as a thoughtless line given to countless others before. Because the same is quite true here. Jaskier looks at Tech ready to give him grief for using such a cliche on him, but he's stopped by that look in Tech's eyes when his hand comes to rest over Jaskier's heart.]

[It's nothing all that significant. Jaskier doesn't think that when Tech reaches out for him now that he's looking at someone who isn't actually there. If anything, it feels quite the opposite and that for at least that brief moment in time, Tech is looking at him without a thought of the Jaskier he knew from wherever it is he came from. And that's what gives his words their authenticity in the end and keeps Jaskier from giving him shit about it. It's just a simple look of wanting to make someone feel better without any weight or expectations behind it. So, instead, he crinkles his nose at being told to buck up with the other name of the flower he took his name from without any real offense and seemingly settles back completely once Tech moves to tend to the fire.]

[The truth is, Jaskier is waiting for Tech to finish with the fire rather than being entirely settled into a less intense sulk. Once Tech's fed the flames a bit to ensure they'll continue and settles back into his space, Jaskier immediately grabs onto his jacket and gives Tech a firm yank backward to lie back onto the grass with him.]

You haven't found a constellation yet, [he says matter-of-fact, by way of an explanation for the sudden shift in orientation without looking anywhere else other than the stars. Jaskier lightly fists a hand in Tech's sleeve to be certain he can't sit back up without any sort of impediment seeing as how Jaskier refuses to move right now. It's only then that he turns his head to look at Tech.] And I would say the stars won't be out all night, but...

[With his free hand, he gestures vaguely skyward.]

Well, that would be silly. They won't be out forever though. The sun will come up eventually, and then you'll regret not finding one now when you had the chance and we can't have that. [Jaskier scoots a little closer to Tech so he can point out the stars he put together in his made-up constellation from before.] There's Siren, yeah? Those stars are spoken for, but you've the whole of the night sky as your canvas as it were. [He nudges Tech a little with the hand that's still holding his sleeve.] So, find one.

[ He dusts off his hands and moves back into place, opening his mouth to suggest he go and find some more wood to keep the fire burning longer -- except all that escapes him is a choked sound as Jaskier tugs him back. Suddenly they're together, lying side by side in a way that feels far too intimate. How many movie scenes are there of lovers, gazing up at the stars -- wishing upon a fallen one or watching the world go by? In spite of himself, Tech's heart drums a rapid, staccato beat. He needs to move. He needs to sit back up. He needs to find more wood or Jaskier's ring. Or he has to take a piss.

A thousand excuses at his disposal and his mouth can't form a single one.

Tech doesn't look at Jaskier, but he looks at the hand firmly lodged in his coat -- slippery nylon creasing away from Jaskier's grasp. When Jaskier requests a constellation, Tech's mind is back in the moment with near relief. Because that's his excuse to escape the situation right there, isn't it? He doesn't know the ones in this world and he doesn't have the imagination to make one up. Not to Jaskier's vivid liking. He can escape.

Except.

There's something about Jaskier's insistence to find one that stills his tongue. It's a little more than simply not wanting to disappoint him (although he certainly doesn't want to do that). Jaskier has always tried to test Tech's limits and encourage him to stretch them. While Tech excelled at the practical, he lacked in the creative. But there had to be a time where he had an imagination as well, right? Not simply the technological know-how. He had to be able to imagine the possibilities -- to invent things that had never been heard or even thought of but soon became something people couldn't live without?

Looking back up at the sky reluctantly, he searches. It will still be a long while before he can just make something up out of nowhere, but he could find something reminiscent of something in his reality. Because his reality is just as fantastical as any imagined story. His eyes settle near Jaskier's siren, finding a cluster of stars that are boxy -- akin to the big dipper of his world. ]

There.

[ Tech points it out as he speaks. ]

You see the ones that are kinda rectangular and the four stars right next to it that kinda look like a crank? That's the Speldosa.

[ He settles on the Swedish name for music box if only because it sounds fancier than English. Language and names are important. ]

It's said even though the Speldosa resembles a regular music box this one is special. It came to be after a human boy wished with all his might for a music box that could create music rather than play only what it was programmed to play. So, it decided to live in the night sky and stayed there for both the boy's sake and the sake of others who thought they lost their inspiration. All they had to do was come out at night, look up at the Speldosa and it would gift them a tune to turn into a masterpiece.

[ He glances over at Jaskier very briefly and then averts his gaze to settle on his smooth jawline. It lowers entirely before flicking back up at the sky. ]

It's also said if you ever lose your way, all you have to find the Speldosa and you can find your way home. Lucky us, huh?

[While largely quite impatient, Jaskier is capable of summoning patience ever now and again. He puts it to use here, still keeping a gentle hold on Tech's sleeve even when it's apparent that it's not necessary, but otherwise looking back to the sky and remaining quiet. Jaskier's head only moves closer to Tech's shoulder as he's pointing to follow the line of his arm better and spot the correct stars. As Tech tells the story of the music box, despite its simplicity and brevity, he has Jaskier's rapt attention. Jaskier shifts his head away from Tech's shoulder to better look at him partway through his explanation. When their eyes meet, his fingers curl a little tighter and then loosen again in Tech's sleeve, and for one breathless moment...]

[But Tech looks away again. He looks at the night sky instead of Jaskier, and Jaskier lingers in that moment for just a little while after it passes. And when he can't any longer, he finds himself wanting. He wants the moment back. He wants Tech to look at him like that again. Even if it's so brief it almost comes across as a little shy, he's at least looking at Jaskier again. And Jaskier can't even say why that means so much to him that Tech looks at him like that. It shouldn't mean anything, realistically speaking. It's nothing like Jaskier imagines Tech would look at him if he were older and Jaskier loved him the way he will someday. It's just looking at him. Nothing more. Nothing less. But it stirs something within Jaskier all the same. And for that small fragment of a moment, all the stories Jaskier's heard throughout his life start to fill his head with fanciful notions and a brilliant daydream that if Tech just looks at him long enough... And then it passes and there's little more than a glow of embers left in its wake.]

[Jaskier hums his quiet agreement. They are quite lucky, he thinks. Even if it's far from ideal for either of them, it's still something that they found each other in this world. But the daydream has been lifted and the story Tech tells... Jaskier wakes and realizes it's not about them. Not as they are. The inspiration and creation of music, it's not for Jaskier. The promise of home certainly isn't either. Not now. Not yet. Orpheus looked back to Eurydice.]

[Jaskier's hand comes to rest somewhat awkwardly only his own stomach, having started to move it when there was the foolish, faint hope that he might turn Tech's gaze back to him. But he knows even if he were to bring that hand to Tech's cheek and turn him to look at Jaskier, it would only leave the both of them disappointed. Jaskier looks back up at the sky, releasing Tech's sleeve finally and then he's still a moment. But then the back of that hand finds the back of Tech's hand. With a questioning glance to Tech out of the corner of his eye, he moves his hand a bit more, turning it over slowly to cover Tech's hand. The touch is so gentle that even as Jaskier attempts to interlace their fingers, he's anticipating Tech taking his hand away so much so that the slightest motion away and Jaskier's hand will join his other on his stomach as quickly as possible.]

That's quite the music box, [he says, finally breaking the small bit of silence that had followed his hum of agreement.] Although it seems a bit sad to me that the music box ended up in the sky like that. Perhaps it's able to connect with people and provide them with the inspiration and guidance they need, but it still seems a bit lonely to be in the night sky like that all on its own and so far removed from everyone. Even by its own choice.

[ While a part of what he said was a nod to his relationship of the past, he's not saddened -- not brought to some great melancholy. Because it was looking back, but also looking forward. He made a deliberate choice to use present tense. Find the music box and you can find your way home. All he and Jaskier had to do was find each other, and home would follow. Maybe this Jaskier doesn't know it yet, but hopefully he someday would. Home doesn't have to be a place of romance and passion. Home is safety, security and stability. Home is protection. And Tech knows he'd go to as many great lengths to protect Jaskier here as he would in Penance.

Maybe even more to protect and preserve all that is good, all that might be chased away by heartache and torture and death.

As Tech's gaze lingers on the entirely made up constellation, though, he starts at Jaskier's touch. It's slight, barely there. And yet the fire has moved from where it burns in the sky trillions of miles away or even from the pit in front of them -- to the very hand Jaskier ghosts a touch over.

Pull away.

Logic pleads, but his hand is anchored.

Move your hand and fucking pull AWAY.

But he doesn't. Instead, Jaskier's fingers invite his to dance and his turn ever so slightly to accommodate. What harm is there to hold his hand? His impulses whisper in tandem with loneliness. It's not necessarily giving Jaskier the wrong idea, is it? Is it? Well, he supposes that all depends on what the idea is. It's clear this Jaskier can't and shouldn't be expected to carry on the legacy of his older counterpart. He's much too young to be saddled with that baggage. But this isn't Jaskier trying to. This is him finding his own way, following this thread of fate to stake out something for himself. And he should be allowed to find that -- to not be met by the rejection Tech tried at the beginning of this. These small, intimate beats are theirs and will only help Jaskier to boost his confidence when they meet whoever this world has to offer and Jaskier can find someone better than Tech to spend his nights with. And for now?

For now, there's a sunrise to see.

Tech doesn't look back at Jaskier once their hands are laced, choosing to keep his eyes on the sky and let the action speak for itself -- giving the tiniest squeeze of assurance. After Jaskier's remark, Tech shakes his head with a hint of a smile. ]

I think it's fine. Just being up there allowed to be what it is and serve as an inspiration? It's enough. It's more than it ever thought it'd get to do in its lifetime.

[ His tongue traces his lips and he points toward Jaskier's siren. ]

Besides, how can the Speldosa be lonely when it has the Siren to keep it company? On those nights where it's too cold or too cloudy to see the people below, I hear they make some beautiful duets. And they might even play a song like this...

[ Tech doesn't sing. He certainly would not subject himself to Jaskier's judgement, but he does take the thumb of the hand holding Jaskier's and use the pad of it to trace a measure on Jaskier's palm. As musically clever as Jaskier is, Tech is sure he would be able to visualize the notes in his head as Tech 'writes' them. One single measure, the lines of the staff, the key signature, the time and four notes. The four note start of the song he and Jaskier started writing together in Lucifer's mansion -- a piece they continued to work on together and perfect even months later until it was left unfinished. But maybe it wasn't meant to be finished in Penance. Maybe it was meant to be finished here.

Or maybe Jaskier will simply think Tech is tracing nonsense on his palm.

But no matter, these same four notes don't have to take the same shape as they did before. It's up to Jaskier to decide where the song goes from here. ]

[He tries not to smile at all when there is that light squeeze of his hand, but Jaskier is so rarely ever successful at stifling any of his emotions in their expression. It's something he readily chalks up to being a poet because, after all, how else is one to be a poet if not often subject to the whims of their passions? So, in the end, it's more a matter of not smiling at all and simply trying to keep the smile reasonable. Jaskier has a touch more success at that.]

[He comes to rest his head on Tech's shoulder again and he tells himself it's just so he can better see Speldosa and Siren. And when his other hand moves from his stomach to slip in the space between Tech's arm and side, it's just because his hand is cold.]

[Jaskier's brow furrows a little at first when Tech begins tracing on his palm, but by the time Tech draws the key signature, he pieces it together quickly that he's writing a measure of music. Closing his eyes so he can focus while Tech notes the time and begins placing down the notes.]

[In Penance, Jaskier took the paper, drawing it closer to himself so he could scribble down the possibilities for himself in the corner of the paper, and began experimenting with his variations until he was satisfied. But here, there's no paper for Jaskier to experiment with. He has only his voice to experiment with. Jaskier hums the four notes a few times, a finger gently tapping on Tech's shoulder to keep time, until he finally begins to build upon it. Each variation gets a few repetitions of their own before he loops back to the first of Tech's notes whereupon there's a quiet rejection of it with a murmured no, no or simply a hum of discontent. But Jaskier finds what he likes eventually, which he lets Tech know by mirroring tracing the notes on Tech's palm as he hums the next segment of the phrase they're building together.]

[It's not the same as what Jaskier chose before when they wrote the song the first time. It's not even one of the possibilities Jaskier had come up with while Tech remained nestled close and watching his process. And yet, with as familiar as Tech is with Jaskier's music be it the small musical phrases Jaskier left him as little love notes or the finished products Jaskier performed each night at the hotel bar, it's not something that would be all that difficult to imagine the Jaskier he knew writing in a different song perhaps. Young as Jaskier is, he's still just as gifted and while perhaps unearned, just as confident in his talents. He just needs time for others to see it. To not dismiss his ambition as a foolish dream or view his passion for life as a hindrance and naivety.]

[Jaskier opens his eyes again with a pleased, proud smile that's near-grin for having found something to follow Tech's measure.]

[ It's cold, Tech rationalizes. That's why Jaskier's moving so close. It's cold and made even colder by lying on the ground without anything to insulate them from the dirt. The fire is close and it helps, but not enough. Naturally Jaskier would be drawn to anyone to keep warm. And so, Tech's doing him a favor by allowing him in -- protecting him from the elements as he holds his hand and lets him rest his head so close to his. That Tech is swallowing hard has little to do with any swell of nervousness. That his heart beats faster has nothing to do their closeness. It's just...he's cold too, alright?

But any thoughts about their position leave him as soon as Jaskier catches on and hums the notes in the invisible measure -- giving the melody life. Jaskier truly is a prodigy. Tech doubts most would have caught on that those tender trailing touches were a measure -- let alone be able to visualize the precise tune with absolute perfect pitch. But Jaskier does. He does and he remembers, stores it in his mind to refer back. Even as he builds on it, works the tune and makes it his own, he's able to loop back to Tech's first notes and repeat them without missing a single one. It's incredible to see his musical ingenuity at work and to know he had it even so young. It's no surprise he'll grow up to be famous one day. He's the exact sort of person record labels would have eaten up -- fighting each other to sign as young as possible and try to put their mark on him as a brand. It's made all the more impressive considering Jaskier acquired the fame on his own in a world without instant communication -- where all music had to be heard live and in person and ones reputation was only as good as others word of mouth.

After working through the phrase like only a mildly difficult math problem, Jaskier returns to Tech with a solution. Unlike math, though, there is no one right answer. Jaskier's response is a new take on the song, different from the one he'll write in the future. And it still fits well in spite of the deviation. A new melody. When Jaskier finishes tracing the notes, Tech visualizes it easily. Then, he playfully loops his thumb around Jaskier's to guide it back to the invisible measure he'd written on Tech's palm and cause it to make a sideways V for a crescendo. Because this song is very clearly building to something more.

Tech doesn't write the next phrase, though. This is only a beginning. How could they write an entire story in a single night? So his hand settles back into a relaxed position and he flashes a brief smile at Jaskier. ]

Yeah. A little something like that. So if we listen real closely another night, we'll be able to catch the rest. Rumor has it you can hear things a little clearer around a waterfall. Because, um...they have to play louder to be heard and all.

[ And clearly not because Tech would like to go to a waterfall at night -- if this place had one. He's certain it must. With its fantastical elements, a waterfall is classic fairy tale vibes. And cheesy as it is, seeing the beauty nature had to offer would serve as a reminder this is not hell. ]

[Although Jaskier feels foolish for it, he feels a little disappointed when there isn't a subsequent musical phrase and Tech's hand simply settles back into his. Not that he isn't satisfied with simply holding his hand, of course. That's also nice in a different way. But it'd felt like the start of a game. It seemed something simple that wasn't reliant on the past or the future, and they could easily keep it going all night long. Plus, it satisfied a little competitive streak in Jaskier, too. Even if there really wasn't any competition to be spoken of with it, it was still an opportunity to show off his talents and it's rare for Jaskier to pass upon such an opportunity.]

[But the disappointment is ameliorated by the implied promise of another night and made all the quieter by his silly little excuse for wanting to see a waterfall. He doesn't let on that he can see what a flimsy excuse it is though. Jaskier's not certain exactly how teasing about that might land for Tech less because of any perceived fragility in their current rapport and more because Jaskier remembers what Tech said earlier about the world he was in before. Miserable as it probably was to find himself in a frosty hedge maze right now, it probably felt fantastic to Tech to see even the remnants of greenery or to feel the grass beneath him, never mind to have such a seemingly endless starry sky right now.]

Well, [Jaskier rolls over onto his side, having the dual effect of nestling in a bit closer and allowing Jaskier to more properly use Tech's shoulder as a pillow. It is with all the confidence in the world that Jaskier says,] As it so happens, I've heard they're also quite clear in meadows and valleys. That's why the grass always grows the tallest there and there are so many flowers.

[He knows that in a sense, that's a bit forward. Tech implied another night, sure, but Jaskier is now implying another night sometime in the much more distant future, too. After all, unless there's some powerful magic at play in this place, Jaskier can't imagine there will be flowers in full bloom for months yet to come. But even if Jaskier can't promise Tech the love Tech wants from a Jaskier that isn't here, he was entirely serious about not having Tech be some sort of fringe element in his life and so easily forgotten in favor of another.]

[ And I realized two things in that moment, he would later write in his recounting of their meeting -- in the leather bound notebook addressed to the Jaskier he had known. One.

Tech pulls a breath in when Jaskier shifts to his side, more of his body pressed against Tech's. An immediate warmth comes to his skin and he forgets how to exhale. It's a dangerous thing to have Jaskier so close. Tech squarely keeps his eyes locked on the sky, fixated on a point of nothing because if he looks over at Jaskier -- if they share a breath...

If this moment could have replaced my first brush with love, my life would have been much better for it. If we were meeting for the first time with you so young, so optimistic and carefree and reckless -- you would have been my perfect match. There was so much you could have taught me and so much we could have learned together. It would have been beautiful. ]

Yeah. That's the beauty of having the sky as your stage. So many different spots get a great vantage point at different times of the year. We only know a few. Imagine all the ones we can find?

[ There's faint amusement on his face as he turns his gaze toward Jaskier. A mistake. Blue eyes meet blue and the amusement drains away like simultaneously being plunged into cold water and somehow still heated from within. Two. The spark between them is undeniable. The spark, though, isn't the problem.

No matter how much I know I need to look forward. No matter how much I knew that was what this version of you needed me to do, I just can't. I can't forget what you and I had. I can't look at you and see anything other than what I had known of you and us and our time in hell. In the original story, Orpheus looks back and dooms Eurydice. But in OUR story, if I look forward, will I lose you forever? So in that moment...

Tech lingers in Jaskier's gaze, eyes veering to his lips.

I chose you.

He snaps his gaze away and inches back abruptly -- not fully detangling himself from Jaskier. His shoulder is still there as a pillow and his hand still lingers within Jaskier's grasp -- but his head is as far out of reach as possible. Finally, he remembers how to exhale and the breath comes out shakily. ]

I-I should probably find more wood. For the fire. It's gonna burn out if we don't keep it fed.

[♫]

[Even with the low light provided from the stars above and the fire nearby, Jaskier would have to be blind to not see the way Tech's gaze drifts. And gods, he hates the way his heart skips a beat. And he tries, he tries so hard to snuff the spark of hope and want that rises from that flutter. Everything in him tells him that he ought to not have the pleading thought of "kiss me, kiss me" at that tug he feels to meet Tech halfway. But before anything happens, Tech's gaze tears away and he moves out of reach, and Jaskier feels the cold slap of reality settle in.]

[He tucks his chin a little closer to his own chest, turning his face away completely from Tech in an attempt to hide any potential disappointment in his expression while seemingly just making an effort to remain cozy and warm. Not that he thinks the average person would ever detect so much as a trace of it. His smile hasn't gone anywhere after all. But he feels a warmth in his face that wasn't there before and came about as he realized how heavily the disappointment settled in his chest, smothering the flutter that had been there just a moment ago. And Tech simply isn't the average person even if he's not known Jaskier as he is now for very long. Who knows what sorts of little tells he might have noticed remain the same regardless of Jaskier's age?]

We? [he hears himself say with a teasing tone he doesn't feel.] If you don't keep it fed, you mean. That's your job, not mine.

[Jaskier doesn't know who he resents more right now. Part of him yearns for ignorance. At least then, he would have been able to know Tech's kiss with a freedom he'll never have now. When Tech pulled away, he could have smoothly roped him back in and brought their lips together and... Part of him also wishes he had met Tech first, not the man he isn't yet and realistically, Jaskier can't even guarantee that he will someday be. Then this could be his, be theirs, and there wouldn't be this ghost haunting every glance, every touch. There wouldn't be a question that Tech is looking at his lips and wanting to kiss him, and there wouldn't be a thought that Tech wants him to be someone else. Part of him kicks himself for ever suggesting that they ought to be or could be friends, clearly not thinking through just how difficult it could end up being because Tech can't stop seeing someone who isn't there and Jaskier can't help how quickly and easily he's wrapped up in fantasy. He should have known that he would want the story to be his and no amount of rational acknowledgment that it's not would temper that to any great extent. Jaskier can't help but think it would have been better if he hadn't given in, if he hadn't sought even a small place within the narrative, and he'd left when he meant to. Let Tech contend with his loss and grief on his own and then who knows what might have come next? But what might have come could have been nothing and Jaskier felt that too terrible a thing.]

[So, here they are.]

Well, come on then! [he says with a playful shove, releasing his hold on Tech entirely in doing so, nudging him incessantly until Tech's either sat up or been forced by all Jaskier's pushing to be out of reach.] Hop to it before I get cold! Because I can promise you right now that if I get ill because you let the fire die, I'm absolutely making it your problem. I'll expect all the delicious soups and wonderful lullabies I would get from my mother, and you had best be prepared to tell me exceptional stories while I'm stuck laying about, feeling miserable, too.

[Whatever his feelings, Jaskier's expression remains bright and his tone is playful. There's no disappointment. No resentment. No longing. It means he's pretending a bit. Or. Well. More than a bit. But even with all that discomfort that comes from those feelings, Jaskier knows what he wants. Much as he knows it would have been the wiser thing to have left and stayed away, and the kinder thing would have been to remain ignorant, none of that is what he wants in the end. He wants to stay. He wants a place in the story. And even if it seems so likely that it will end with his own heartbreak, he thinks, it's still worth it. It's worth knowing someone who will someday love him even if he can't right now. It's worth helping that person hold onto hope and love, and not think the end of the story is here simply because things aren't as he wanted them to be. So, if that's all Jaskier is to be, just a reminder, then so be it. He can live with that.]

[ He had to have noticed. They were too close. Jaskier had to have known what he'd been denied, what dangled like a carrot just out of reach. There's a horrible knot of guilt twisting Tech's lungs. He wants to apologize or say something to explain himself. When his mouth opens, there's no air for the words. And yet Jaskier still smiles. He still bursts forth with a tease. And the tease continues with exuberance as Jaskier starts pushing Tech. Maybe Tech's imagining it, that all those shoves and all that insistence has a double meaning -- that Jaskier's pushing Tech away not because of this silly fire excuse but so that he can reclaim his own space. What he will do in that space, Tech's not sure. Feel humiliated? Disappointed? Upset? Angry?

It's surprising, young as he is, that Jaskier hasn't turned those emotions outward. He's being very careful to continue to smile, to act as though he never noticed Tech's wandering eyes. And it's Tech who can't offer him the same mercy as he looks over at Jaskier in a mix of confusion and regret and apology. It's all there, about to escape in some jumbled nonsense word that starts as a sound and dies as a frustrated breath. Jaskier doesn't want to hear it. Because nothing Tech could say would make this any better. So in the end, he says nothing. He takes the damn hint and finds his own space, getting up to his feet and dusting himself off.

It's always so lonely in his own space. ]

Yeah, no. I don't sing. You'd probably wish for the sweet release of death if I were to try singing you a lullaby.

[ But he did sing once. For Jaskier in Penance. He sang to him because when he was with Jaskier, there was music in his heart. But only once. Only ever once. His fingers itch for piano keys because music was the only thing that could maybe make this right. And then, he remembers the relic.

Tech pulls it out quickly. He opens it up and connects to its internet. He finds a version of Bach's Prelude in C on piano, the song he very first played for Jaskier -- the thing that allowed them to find their music together, the magic thread that wove the entirety of their relationship. Jaskier found music within technology and sang a wistful song. Tech's thumb hovers over the play button with hope on the verge of his expression -- hope for that same magic, that same music. And then the hope crumbles as another realization dawns. Jaskier hasn't even written the song he sang for Tech back then, let alone had enough years to be able to sing it in a reminiscent, nostalgic way.

Tech closes the video without ever hitting play. Instead, he turns on the flashlight feature -- illuminating the ground before him. ]

But yeah. Um....yeah. I won't be long. Maybe you can get some sleep?

[ He shrugs off his jacket and then lays it out on the ground. It's not much of a barrier between the frozen earth and a body, but it's something. Probably more useful there than it would be as a fashion statement in Jaskier's eyes. ]

I can wake you up when the sun rises.

October 2022 Test Drive Meme

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