Entry tags:
July 2022 Test Drive Meme
JULY 2022 TDM
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to Folkmore's monthly Test Drive Meme! Please feel free to test drive any and all characters regardless of your intent to apply or whether you have an invite or not.
All TDMs are game canon. You can choose to have your TDM thread be your introduction thread upon acceptance or start fresh. Each TDM will provide a scenario for how characters arrive in-game that particular month.
Playing TDMs will allow characters to immediately obtain canon items from homes especially weapons or other things they may have had on their person when they were pulled from their worlds! There will always be a prompt that provides some sort of "reward" to characters who complete certain tasks.
Current players are allowed to have in-game characters react to TDMs via the Network or make a log with the prompts. Current players are always encouraged to tag new people on the TDM!
TDM threads can be used for spoon spending at any time by characters accepted into the game.
Content Warnings: Unwanted romantic/sexual attention from a monster, optional sexual themes, optional monster fights, giant insects in 'accidents' prompt.
YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT
I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT
Folkmore has many lakes and streams. You wake up suddenly beside one, the world coming into sharp focus the moment you do. It's sunny, and the sounds and sights are warmly nostalgic for the very idea of summer.
You can sit and relax a while. Maybe lounge in the shade. Let your mind drift, and relax. There's a few people around, some still sleeping and some awakening the same as you, but it's far from crowded here.
Suddenly a shadow falls over you. You turn and are greeted by a monster: it looks sort of like an avocado covered in kelp, with oversized hands and a huge mouth. It also looks like it's entirely made of rubber - even its eyes appear to be only painted on.
This monster waves its arms threateningly. “Gaaaaah!” it says. Its voice is muffled. “Gaahhhhhhhhh!”
Somehow this creature is a lot faster than it looks, and the next thing you know it has enfolded you in its embrace.
“You will be Greg’s bride!” the monster shouts, regardless of your gender identification. It looks at whoever happens to be in your general vicinity. “Who this?”
Struggling, you realise that Greg is stronger than any creature you’ve ever encountered before. You can’t seem to get it to let go of you, and it's rocking against you in such a way that it makes a sound like the soles of sneakers on a gym floor. On the plus side, it doesn’t have any genitals that you can see, so at least it’s not as bad as it could be? Still, desperate times call for desperate measures! “That’s my partner!” you claim before you can think about how stupid an idea that is.
“You bride? PROVE IT!"
Oh shit. Now you’re stuck - you and whatever innocent bystander you've dragged into this have to convince Greg that you're a couple! You could admit to something true about love or intimacy under the guise of it being about the other; Greg’s lie detecting abilities are good enough to call you out on untruths, but not good enough to know who you’re talking about.
Or you could just start making out, I guess. Whatever works.
If you're a terrible actor, Greg will abduct you and pull you beneath the water. You better hope your fake partner will try to rescue you!
If you manage to convince him that you're a couple, he will shed a tear from his unblinking eyes before either slinking away or flying into a murderous rage.
If you choose to fight Greg, either in the water or on land, you will find that he's pretty tough for a rubber monster. Any blows to his back or sides will land harmlessly, and the kelp on his body may grab whatever you hit him with. And that big goofy mouth of his hides rows of deathly sharp fangs!
However you get rid of Greg, once he's gone you will find a trunk shaped like a koi fish. Open it and you will find some canon items from home. Clothes or weapons, maybe. Lucky you!
I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
You don't necessarily have to complete the One I Want prompt to find these koi trunks! They seem to be dotted around Folkmore and you might find them just by virtue of exploration! The trunks seem to mysteriously know who is opening them so you won't find someone else's stuff by accident. There are also some unenchanted weapons sticking out of the ground in random places: basic swords, guns, shields, etc. They have no magic, but they're usable!
But be warned: the second you take one of these weapons, you'll have to use it.
As soon as you have pulled a weapon from the ground, a high whining buzz sounds, swelling in volume as somethings come barreling out of the sky at you. They are short humanoid creatures about three feet tall with the heads and wings of cicadas. They are also wearing human clothes - what sort depends on what part of Folkmore you're in. If you're in Wintermute they might be wearing cute sweaters, but if you're in Cruel Summer they might be dressed like your suburban dad on summer vacation. How cute! Except they have very sharp talons and the sound they make can incapacitate you. Better take them down fast!
Or run even faster.
Content Warnings: Mood altering substances, optional alcohol use, optional suggestive themes.
I LIKE SHINY THINGS
IN DIRTY DREAMS
I LIKE SHINY THINGS
Summer isn't all about getting bitten by mosquitoes out at the lake, or sweating your way up a mountain in uncomfortable hiking boots. For the less outdoorsy types, there's still plenty of fun to be had... and all within walking distance of an air conditioner when the weather gets too humid. Close to Epiphany, there appears a gem of a spa, nestled comfortably by a beautiful waterfall. The lobby is spacious and cool, with a distinctly mid-century modern sensibility. The gentleman working the front desk wears a crisp suit of burnt orange with a small golden fox pin on his lapel. He is more than happy to direct you to any of the spa amenities.
There are massage tables, hot tubs, and steam rooms. You can get yourself a manicure, pedicure, or facial. There's a full salon for anything you might want to do to your hair - maybe it's time for a kicky summer 'do? Any kind of pampering you're after, you can find it here! If you need to lie down, there are even some hotel rooms on the upper levels that you can rest in.
There is also a tea room - all soft pinks and sage greens, with plush chairs in sets of two or more around small round tables. You will be seated with someone else, as the tea room is designed to encourage conversation. The waiters in this delightful space are all flamingos - they move around the room with a sort of gangly grace, carrying trays on their backs or with their beaks. Unconventional, but they seem to have no problem understanding people's orders. Speaking of, what's on the menu? Seems every kind of tea has a different effect...
Black tea hypes you UP! Who wants to stay sitting around with a bunch of birds?! Let's go party!
Green tea brings a sense of great peace and mental clarity. You will find it easy to talk about emotional subjects without being overcome with feelings.
Oolong tea calms you and relaxes you deeply. You might even find yourself nodding off!
Milk tea inspires feelings of affection - whoever you're sitting with now seems like they could be your new best friend. (Or more?)
Spending time in the tea room really does encourage you to open up to other people one way or another, and all the other spa activities tend to put people in the mood to open up a little bit.
IN DIRTY DREAMS
If you tire of such relaxing pursuits but you still don't fancy wandering off into the woods, you could always poke around behind the spa, where there is a smaller separate building. If you listen you can hear loud music playing, carried faintly on the summer wind. Some kind of party? Why not check it out? Okay, so there's a big old 'STAFF ONLY' sign on the side of the building, but you could just wander in and come up with an excuse if someone spots you. Or sneak in through the bathroom window or something if you're that worried.
Once inside it becomes apparent that this building functions as a private club for the spa staff. The interior is dark and wood paneled, lit only by some old hanging lights with warm bulbs. At the far end is a bar, and beyond that the glow of a small kitchen. A few tables are scattered along the walls, but the bulk of the long room is taken up by a dancefloor.
And boy oh boy are people getting down.
The music is so loud that you don't have to be able to hear to feel the beat - it pounds through the floorboards like a pulse. It's a compelling rhythm that urges you to join the throng. Even if you lack any and all natural grace, the urge to dance is strong enough that you can cast off your reluctance. You can even find yourself a dance partner, although you might want to keep it a little more G-rated than some of the couples around.
If you tire, you can hit the bar. The bartender isn't checking any IDs, considering they think everyone present is a staff member. Just don't blow your cover!

Dainsleif ◈ Genshin Impact
ii. I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
I Hate Accidents, Except...
The wolf launches himself from the small ledge he'd been on and slams into the ground. Ice explodes out from him like a blast wave, aimed at the creatures. Then Kaeya Alberich human again sighs as he rises to his feet, icy blade forming in the air. He grabs it and swings, warming up his wrist.]
Honestly, you'd think they would realize everyone here is not easy prey. I have the ones on the left. [Then he's darting into the fray, not bothering to hide his true speed. There's no point. Not here. Better to focus on the fight because after.
Well.
Not something he can run from, is it?]
aw yis
Dainsleif elects to not comment on it as he sharply nods and darts to the right, the magic coiled around his hand not letting up just yet even as that dratted noise keeps digging into his skull. His sword impacts one, another, a third before the force holding them in place begins to falter. His eyes narrow as he pushes more strength into the spell and moves swiftly to take down the remainder of his targets.
Not a problem, he thinks, for the two of them together. They're both impressively fast on their feet.
Normally such a thing would be no issue for him. A small thing for someone used to hunting Abyss Heralds across Teyvat. Recent events, though, have left him weaker than he might like and by the time the last of the creatures drops to the ground under the lash of their swords he's visibly pale. The magic around his hand dies out, his arm drops, and he straightens up with a soft frown on his face.]
How fortuitous that it would be you who comes to my rescue.
[Well.
It seems he can no longer avoid him.]
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[He lets his sword break apart. He looks a little different, with a long wolf tail and matching ears. He still detests that they faintly glow with a silvery light. He can't hide and act like a simple wolf if he tried.]
You're not showing any fun animal additions, so...I can only assume you're a Legend. [How fitting that the Twilight Sword is of righteousness. He has no idea what to do now he's been proverbially caught. He's pulled strings and moved things around. But in the end, he sighs.] Shall we find a place to talk? I promise I'll even listen.
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He remembers now.
But Dainsleif puts as much weight in the whims of the powers that be in this world as he does in the gods of his own. That is, he doesn't care what they want and has not yet been given a reason to. A Legend? Perhaps, but only time would tell, wouldn't it.]
... Let's. [A man of few words. Perhaps that isn't surprising. The faint comfort he feels on looking into eyes so similar to his own is fleeting and dim, barely noticed and yet... it does ache, somehow, in way he hadn't expected.] You need not introduce yourself but perhaps I should. Unless--
[A pause. He glances Kaeya's way.]
Could it be that you already know very well who I am?
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I would say I’m familiar with your visits. [Not quite how he knows of him but, it will do for now.]
There are only two from our world here, three now including you.
he's so extra I'm sorry
Knight Captain Dainsleif, Twilight Sword of the Royal Guard of Khaenri'ah. [And not quite a bow, but a faint incline of his head to mock the ghost of one. So, his 'visits' had not caused quite the stir he had briefly imagined that they might. It could not be often that a second person with star-shaped pupils and a penchant for concealing part of their face walked into the Angel's Share.]
I wasn't trying to hide my presence in Mondstadt back then. [He looks the young captain up and down.] But I wasn't there for you.
[Not that time, at least. Dainsleif sighs softly.]
And who else has found themselves in this degrading internment?
I’m laughing, it’s good.
lmao GOOD
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you're the one I want
She's removed her heels, and is walking along the edge of the stream barefoot, when she sees a commotion up ahead and runs forward to see if anyone needs help. (She's not sure what she'll be able to do to help, but she can't just let bad things happen without at least trying!) ]
Wait—! [ She sees the gathering swirl of power, and thinks maybe some kind of magical attack is not the best way to handle this situation. ] You can't marry him, he's my bride! ...I mean— my husband!
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There you are.
[He gives an experimental squirm, enough to free one of his arms so he can extend one hand towards the approaching woman.]
Just in time to clear up this little misunderstanding.
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Sorry I'm late, I got a bit... lost.
[ Her eyes silently beseech her pretend husband not to let loose with that magic!!! At least, not until they're sure the situation can't be diffused more peacefully. ]
Please, sir, um. Greg... Will you please let my husband go? We mean you no harm.
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As you can see, you were mistaken. [He says firmly.
But there's more - there's always more - and this... persistent creature would not believe them so easily as that. So it demands proof, because of course it does, and Dainsleif's bright eyes slide sidelong to the young woman he has not even heard the name of.
This is already aggravating enough, and now he has to take it even further?]
i. You're the One I Want
And it would seem that someone relatively close by just got grabbed by a monster... Wait, Yukari actually looks up for a second. Yep, that's a monster. And he just blinks. Alright. Well, it's not Yukari being the one that's captured. So this is fine. But then the words that follow out of the blond's mouth are cause for an extra pause, a bewildered blink. He's never seen this person in his life, and he's being called his partner.
Their eyes meet as the monster sets Dainsleaf on the ground. But he can't help but notice that strange blue power around Dainsleaf's hand. He doesn't look like one of Sceptre 4's...
But it only takes a split second for Yukari to decide he's in. He gives a smile.]
Ah, yes, I've been looking for you, darling. There you are~
[He walks toward Dainsleaf, looking up to the monster as he gets closer. His smile never falters.]
Excuse me... Greg, was it? But my darling and I have been looking to spend time together today. May I have him back?
[He gives a playful wink.]
Pretty please?
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Perhaps, at least temporarily, he would entertain the idea of giving this approach a chance to actually work.]
My new friend here may require some convincing. [Dainsleif says gruffly, the frown darkening his expression never quite leaving his face. It might well be a permanent resident, in fact.
While Greg has loosened his hold on Dainsleif somewhat, he hasn't yet decided to entirely let him go. The blond man objects to this for various reasons, many of which would be abundantly clear simply thanks to the situation. Greg, of course, does require more convincing proof than a simple claim on Dainsleif... and expresses that very vocally.]
Accidents
[It's the level response from Diluc as he draws his large sword, entirely too easily for a sword of that size, but by now wielding the claymore is as much second nature as anything.
The Vision at his hip flares briefly and fire winds its way down the blade as he swings it in an arc at the nearest group of buzzing creatures. He's wincing at the noise they make and the way it feels like it's trying to bore its way through his brain. But the fire catches and singes some and scatters a few of the others.]
Where are they coming from? Have you seen a nest?
[Because if Diluc can burn these things out at the source he's going to.]
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No, they appeared when I disturbed that sword.
[And as such, he hasn't really had the chance to inspect where they might be coming from.]
I'll bring them down. Deal with them before more arrive, and if there's a nest we will need to locate it quickly. [Assuming Diluc's assent to the demand, Dainsleif will use the ability that is keeping the creatures prone and suspended to gather them all swiftly together before viciously bouncing them down into the ground.
The noise they're making falters with the impact. A moment of relief.]
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[Or was that trials? Whatever, they're infuriating, and that just makes Diluc more intent on dealing with these things.
He offers the other man a quick terse nod. That plan works for him. When Dainslief slams the swarm he's managed to catch, Diluc will fill that lull in sound with the unmistakable roar of fire as he swings his sword through the bulk of the creatures. That take smore of the sound out of the equation, though some buzzing still remains.]
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[Be they tricks or trials, one thing is certain - Dainsleif finds them just as vexing as Diluc does and is just as intent on getting this finished. He is pleased by how quickly the young man finds his position, and though the strain of using magic right now is likely more than he should really be forcing his weary body to bear, he draws more of the power to his hand and clenches his fist as he draws in the remaining creatures as if pulling them to an inescapable singularity.
The buzzing, now far less, is far less grating. Far less distracting. Dainsleif draws his sword and darts forwards, the space behind him shimmering in a strange blue blur, and he cuts swiftly through the ones still left standing and dazed by Diluc's fire.
Then he's listening, head cocked, for the approach of anything more as blood drips slowly from a blade held in a faintly shaking hand.]
The nest then. It should be close.
could have sworn I replied to this sorry for the delay!
[Diluc agrees. The buzzing is silent for the moment, which is a relief. But it also makes it more challenging to figure out the right way to go.]
They seemed to come from that direction.
[He gestures with his non-sword hand and starts moving.] I take it you just arrived.
[He'll make quiet conversation as they go, not looking at Dainslief, too busy scanning around them, still very much on guard.]
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[Dainsleif is evidently not one for small talk at all, and he keeps his answers to Diluc short as they walk on. Much like the redheaded Monstadter he is on guard as well, not putting his weapon away and keeping his other hand ready to summon that magic again. Any unsteadiness he might have shown earlier is gone now, perhaps easily dismissed as simply being thrown off-balance by the strange scenario.
While they move, though, discomfort and pain continue to throb through him regardless. He still hasn't had the chance to take that rest he said he would when he parted ways with Aether.]
You're Diluc Ragnvindr of Mondstadt. [He says then, glancing the young man's way.] We haven't met, but I don't imagine it's surprising that I've heard of you. [Hasn't everyone?]
You can call me Dainsleif.
you're the one I want
This is an... awkward situation, and even if he doesn't need her help, she'll provide it. When he asserts that she is his partner, a delicate flush colors her cheeks, and she folds her hands over her heart for a moment before rushing forward. ]
Darling, there you are! I was worried sick when we were separated--how could you scare me like that?
[ The creature growls at her, demanding proof, and she reaches for Dain's hand and hopes he cooperates. He's in luck, at least, that his new partner in crime is none other than the Diva of the Mittelfrank Opera Company. ]
Proof? What proof can I offer, when the world conspired so cruelly to keep us apart? What hope could a peasant like me have that a lord of men such as he would ever consider me worthy of his love--that I, Dorothea, could ever win his heart?
[ The name drop isn't exactly subtle, but if he might pick it up and run with it, it would add to the performance. ]
And yet, ever since the day we met, he has treated me as his equal, never once looking down on me for my common birth. I love him completely, with every ounce of my mind, my body, my soul. [ Big tears begin to well in her eyes, one streaking down her pretty cheek. ] So please, gentle... Greg... please release him. I would surely die without him, as a flower deprived of sunlight.
[ Is it over-the-top? Yes, incredibly, but she's improvising, here. ]
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But then she reaches out for his hand and though his fingers visibly twitch when she takes hold of him his grip on her is fairly strong in the moments after. The words would be enough to make another man blush with how ardently she professes her affection for him, and it does seem to be enough for Greg as he finds himself carefully placed on the ground and then reluctantly released.
He steps away immediately, a single smart, clipped step that would mark him as a soldier for anyone who might notice it. Her acting is definitely... something, that's for sure.]
There's no need to cry. [Dainsleif tells her, brushing one gloved thumb across the tear track on her cheek.] I'm sure that the... gentleman wouldn't be so cruel as to keep me from you.
[Quickly, he glances over his shoulder to where Greg is standing. Hopefully this is enough, because Dainsleif is not any kind of actor.]
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[ Greg seems to deflate a little, like a balloon slowly losing air.
"Greg is sowwy," he says, trudging back down into the river. Dorothea watches him go, waiting until she's certain he's well and truly gone before she drops the act. Her wilting, lovesick demeanor is gone in an instant, and she releases Dain's hand before stepping back to give a bow like she's at the curtain call of a stage production.
Righting herself, she tosses her hair once and winks at him with a grin. ]
That was easier than I thought it'd be. He gave up without a fight. Though you look like someone who can defend himself, hm? I know a fighter when I see one.
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I can defend myself, if necessary. [He tells her without a hint of wariness. The way he answers is blunt, implying clearly that if it becomes necessary here then he will not hesitate. But--...
Dainsleif glances over his shoulder in the direction that 'Greg' left in.]
I prefer not to harm a creature that cannot defend itself, or understand the potential consequences of its actions. [Thus he had hesitated when it came to harming Greg, who had done nothing wrong except unexpectedly grab hold of him. Had he actually felt he was about to come to harm... the situation would have been very different.]
You have my thanks, for stepping in so readily.
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[ She shrugs. It doesn't really matter at this point, since they'd been able to avoid a confrontation. Dorothea waves off his thanks, though. ]
What kind of person would I be if I left someone in that kind of situation? I'm certain I would have appreciated the help, if our positions had been reversed. I didn't catch your name, though? I'm Dorothea.
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[Says enough about how he views his abilities, and whatever he might have been planning to do with that magic he had been gathering up in his hand... but no matter. He can't say he would have done the same has her had he come across her with their positions turned, but he can say he wouldn't have left her to it.]
And you didn't catch my name because I did not give it.
[He gives a small bow to her, with his right hand clasped up close to his left shoulder. It looks almost military.] Call me Dainsleif.