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July 2022 Test Drive Meme
JULY 2022 TDM
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to Folkmore's monthly Test Drive Meme! Please feel free to test drive any and all characters regardless of your intent to apply or whether you have an invite or not.
All TDMs are game canon. You can choose to have your TDM thread be your introduction thread upon acceptance or start fresh. Each TDM will provide a scenario for how characters arrive in-game that particular month.
Playing TDMs will allow characters to immediately obtain canon items from homes especially weapons or other things they may have had on their person when they were pulled from their worlds! There will always be a prompt that provides some sort of "reward" to characters who complete certain tasks.
Current players are allowed to have in-game characters react to TDMs via the Network or make a log with the prompts. Current players are always encouraged to tag new people on the TDM!
TDM threads can be used for spoon spending at any time by characters accepted into the game.
Content Warnings: Unwanted romantic/sexual attention from a monster, optional sexual themes, optional monster fights, giant insects in 'accidents' prompt.
YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT
I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT
Folkmore has many lakes and streams. You wake up suddenly beside one, the world coming into sharp focus the moment you do. It's sunny, and the sounds and sights are warmly nostalgic for the very idea of summer.
You can sit and relax a while. Maybe lounge in the shade. Let your mind drift, and relax. There's a few people around, some still sleeping and some awakening the same as you, but it's far from crowded here.
Suddenly a shadow falls over you. You turn and are greeted by a monster: it looks sort of like an avocado covered in kelp, with oversized hands and a huge mouth. It also looks like it's entirely made of rubber - even its eyes appear to be only painted on.
This monster waves its arms threateningly. “Gaaaaah!” it says. Its voice is muffled. “Gaahhhhhhhhh!”
Somehow this creature is a lot faster than it looks, and the next thing you know it has enfolded you in its embrace.
“You will be Greg’s bride!” the monster shouts, regardless of your gender identification. It looks at whoever happens to be in your general vicinity. “Who this?”
Struggling, you realise that Greg is stronger than any creature you’ve ever encountered before. You can’t seem to get it to let go of you, and it's rocking against you in such a way that it makes a sound like the soles of sneakers on a gym floor. On the plus side, it doesn’t have any genitals that you can see, so at least it’s not as bad as it could be? Still, desperate times call for desperate measures! “That’s my partner!” you claim before you can think about how stupid an idea that is.
“You bride? PROVE IT!"
Oh shit. Now you’re stuck - you and whatever innocent bystander you've dragged into this have to convince Greg that you're a couple! You could admit to something true about love or intimacy under the guise of it being about the other; Greg’s lie detecting abilities are good enough to call you out on untruths, but not good enough to know who you’re talking about.
Or you could just start making out, I guess. Whatever works.
If you're a terrible actor, Greg will abduct you and pull you beneath the water. You better hope your fake partner will try to rescue you!
If you manage to convince him that you're a couple, he will shed a tear from his unblinking eyes before either slinking away or flying into a murderous rage.
If you choose to fight Greg, either in the water or on land, you will find that he's pretty tough for a rubber monster. Any blows to his back or sides will land harmlessly, and the kelp on his body may grab whatever you hit him with. And that big goofy mouth of his hides rows of deathly sharp fangs!
However you get rid of Greg, once he's gone you will find a trunk shaped like a koi fish. Open it and you will find some canon items from home. Clothes or weapons, maybe. Lucky you!
I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
You don't necessarily have to complete the One I Want prompt to find these koi trunks! They seem to be dotted around Folkmore and you might find them just by virtue of exploration! The trunks seem to mysteriously know who is opening them so you won't find someone else's stuff by accident. There are also some unenchanted weapons sticking out of the ground in random places: basic swords, guns, shields, etc. They have no magic, but they're usable!
But be warned: the second you take one of these weapons, you'll have to use it.
As soon as you have pulled a weapon from the ground, a high whining buzz sounds, swelling in volume as somethings come barreling out of the sky at you. They are short humanoid creatures about three feet tall with the heads and wings of cicadas. They are also wearing human clothes - what sort depends on what part of Folkmore you're in. If you're in Wintermute they might be wearing cute sweaters, but if you're in Cruel Summer they might be dressed like your suburban dad on summer vacation. How cute! Except they have very sharp talons and the sound they make can incapacitate you. Better take them down fast!
Or run even faster.
Content Warnings: Mood altering substances, optional alcohol use, optional suggestive themes.
I LIKE SHINY THINGS
IN DIRTY DREAMS
I LIKE SHINY THINGS
Summer isn't all about getting bitten by mosquitoes out at the lake, or sweating your way up a mountain in uncomfortable hiking boots. For the less outdoorsy types, there's still plenty of fun to be had... and all within walking distance of an air conditioner when the weather gets too humid. Close to Epiphany, there appears a gem of a spa, nestled comfortably by a beautiful waterfall. The lobby is spacious and cool, with a distinctly mid-century modern sensibility. The gentleman working the front desk wears a crisp suit of burnt orange with a small golden fox pin on his lapel. He is more than happy to direct you to any of the spa amenities.
There are massage tables, hot tubs, and steam rooms. You can get yourself a manicure, pedicure, or facial. There's a full salon for anything you might want to do to your hair - maybe it's time for a kicky summer 'do? Any kind of pampering you're after, you can find it here! If you need to lie down, there are even some hotel rooms on the upper levels that you can rest in.
There is also a tea room - all soft pinks and sage greens, with plush chairs in sets of two or more around small round tables. You will be seated with someone else, as the tea room is designed to encourage conversation. The waiters in this delightful space are all flamingos - they move around the room with a sort of gangly grace, carrying trays on their backs or with their beaks. Unconventional, but they seem to have no problem understanding people's orders. Speaking of, what's on the menu? Seems every kind of tea has a different effect...
Black tea hypes you UP! Who wants to stay sitting around with a bunch of birds?! Let's go party!
Green tea brings a sense of great peace and mental clarity. You will find it easy to talk about emotional subjects without being overcome with feelings.
Oolong tea calms you and relaxes you deeply. You might even find yourself nodding off!
Milk tea inspires feelings of affection - whoever you're sitting with now seems like they could be your new best friend. (Or more?)
Spending time in the tea room really does encourage you to open up to other people one way or another, and all the other spa activities tend to put people in the mood to open up a little bit.
IN DIRTY DREAMS
If you tire of such relaxing pursuits but you still don't fancy wandering off into the woods, you could always poke around behind the spa, where there is a smaller separate building. If you listen you can hear loud music playing, carried faintly on the summer wind. Some kind of party? Why not check it out? Okay, so there's a big old 'STAFF ONLY' sign on the side of the building, but you could just wander in and come up with an excuse if someone spots you. Or sneak in through the bathroom window or something if you're that worried.
Once inside it becomes apparent that this building functions as a private club for the spa staff. The interior is dark and wood paneled, lit only by some old hanging lights with warm bulbs. At the far end is a bar, and beyond that the glow of a small kitchen. A few tables are scattered along the walls, but the bulk of the long room is taken up by a dancefloor.
And boy oh boy are people getting down.
The music is so loud that you don't have to be able to hear to feel the beat - it pounds through the floorboards like a pulse. It's a compelling rhythm that urges you to join the throng. Even if you lack any and all natural grace, the urge to dance is strong enough that you can cast off your reluctance. You can even find yourself a dance partner, although you might want to keep it a little more G-rated than some of the couples around.
If you tire, you can hit the bar. The bartender isn't checking any IDs, considering they think everyone present is a staff member. Just don't blow your cover!
Dorothea Arnault | Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Verdant Wind) | Familiar
[ Waking up on cool grass beside a peaceful stream is about as idyllic as it's possible to get, but Dorothea lurches forward, disoriented, touching her face and her arms to make sure that she is still herself after that long and bizarre dream. She remembers where she was before--Enbarr, the streets a cacophony of battle cries and the screams of those whose lives had been cut short by a blade or bolt of magic. It was blood and fear and chaos, electricity crackling in the air as she fought to protect herself and preserve the lives of her comrades.
The world around her now is calm, and so she too calms herself as she takes in her new surroundings.
It's actually quite beautiful here, she realizes. No sign of battle or bloodshed mars the scenery, no scent of ozone and metal in the air. Her dancer's garb jingles as she stands, casting around to get her bearings, and the dappled sunlight that peeks through the canopy warms her skin. There are others here and there, some sitting while others recline, still sleeping.
She thinks she might approach them, but that particular plan is foiled when two great, rubbery hands snatch her up off the ground and some hideous creature is declaring that she will be his bride. Dorothea flails, kicking and punching ineffectively. ]
Like hell I will!
[ And she means that in the most literal sense possible. She might not have a sword with her but she won't hesitate to call down fire and brimstone from the sky if it gets her out of the clutches of this rubbery menace. She's had more than her fair share of unwanted advances in life.
Fortunately for her, you're a sympathetic passer-by... aren't you? ]
Darling! Oh, there you are! Help me? Please?
[ What will you do? ]
II. I like shiny things
[ This world isn't all awful monsters. By the time she's seated at the table for tea, Dorothea looks incredibly refreshed and radiant, as if she's spent the day being pampered at the spa--which is exactly what she's been doing.
Skin glowing, hair glossy, nails perfectly manicured, she takes a whiff of her tea. ]
Mm, lovely. It smells so good.
[ Following a dainty sip, she sets the teacup down and muses: ]
Don’t you think you feel stronger attraction to someone when you know you may die tomorrow?
[ Oh my, how charmingly morbid! How do you respond? ]
III. Wildcard
[ HMU if you want a different scenario with Dorothea! You can message this account or reach me on discord at 'mochi#1888' if you'd like to plan something else. ]
ii
She takes a long drink of her tea, draining the cup in a gulp rather than nicely sipping it, then she brings the cup from her lips and with a brow cocked upward starts talking.]
Depends what I'm dying from. We going with poison or a gunshot or what? Am I seeing this coming or do I walk out my front door and it's just like, "boom, dead"?
this is the most delightful response I could never have anticipated
Well, the knowing is the important part, isn't it? I suppose someone could poison you at any time, and I have no idea what a gun is, but I've just spent the last five years at war.
[ Her teacup chimes lightly when Dorothea's nails drum against the fine porcelain. ]
I have several allies that I would never have considered during my academy days, but living through battle after battle with them? It makes them seem much more appealing.
;w; i'm so glad
Ah so like a 'love blooming on the battlefield' type of situation, hm?
[She sits forward now, much less gangly and more actually nicely sitting. She takes a moment though to snap her fingers at one of the flamingo waiter things.]
Hey pal, bring me one of those milk teas, wouldja?
[That said and flamingo apparently obliging, Helga purses her lips a little as she thinks.]
You've got a point, sure. There's a reason why so many classical works end up with tragic romances, yeah? The inherent thrill of time running short and needing to savor every moment you can, love blossoming faster only to die a harsher death, the tragic longing of those left behind and whether or not they just pine away unto fateful death --
[Ah, getting a little carried away there. She clears her throat, not saying a thing about the flush on her face now.]
Yeah, I'd say death can sure brew up some attraction.
no subject
That's certainly the gist of it. Are you a warrior, then? Or a scholar of literature?
[ Helga certainly doesn't look like a fighter but Dorothea knows better than to judge solely by appearances. ]
no subject
[She says that but in the next beat she laughs a little.]
Well, not really. I'm more a poet than a warrior now.
[She's in her twenties after all, she had to move on from being a bully at some point. For the most part anyhow.]
You said you lived through battles though?
[Look, she really does listen.]
no subject
[ A flamingo with a pot of tea in its beak stops by to refill Dorothea's cup, though it's only half-empty at this juncture. She accepts it with a nod of thanks. ]
Many battles, and would that I could have avoided them. That's wishful thinking, though--my homeland was at war for five long years. I'm certain that I would have been caught up one way or another, whether as a general with my own troops or as a part of some poorly-outfitted militia.
no subject
Yeah, a little hard to specialize in both fields. I guess that's why Archilochus had few illusions about war or poetry.
[The blonde winces as she tucks into her new cup of tea and hears about this homeland war.]
Pretty impressive that you were a general though. Not that that's any consolation if you'd rather have avoided it.
no subject
I'm actually an opera singer, by trade, but I gave that up to go to a military academy. I was hoping to meet the one but things never seem to work out the way we hope they will. The war broke out right after I graduated.
no subject
Sorry to hear. It's hard to find love, that's for sure.
[For a moment she presses her lips together, tapping her fingers on the edge of her cup before she confesses:]
I figured I met the one years ago but I guess things never work out quite like you expect them too, yeah?
[She laughs a little here, not exactly nervous but for the first time in years she really misses that stupid locket of hers.]
ii
The only weird thing is that he doesn't have any reports to read, and... that question. ]
Oh, um.
[ Weird, it's like three different options show up in his head and he needs to frantically Google which one's right—
Actually, it's more that a few different threads stretch out before him, and Malachi sits there glassy-eyed for a solid several seconds, his own green tea steaming up in front of him, before he shakes his head. Possibilities linger like afterburn, layered over the woman in front of him. ]
...yeah, actually. I do. When you know you're going to die, the little stuff stops mattering, right? So if you're already attracted to someone, maybe all the logical stuff you tell yourself to get in your own way doesn't matter, so you feel it more.
no subject
Yes, that's exactly it! And besides that, all those unresolved emotions, all the possibilities that might never play out, knowing the next time you go to the battlefield might be your last...
[ She sighs and takes another sip of her tea, murmuring a little so warm before setting it down again. ]
Of course, those sentiments can lead to hasty decisions you'll regret later, but there are no guarantees in life, are there? I certainly never expected to find myself in a place like this, for example.
iii. tea room!
but, er, settling into this place for tea really ... puts emphasis on the whole "strange" part. it seems the servers are... flamingos? )
You know, I'm all for fun and extravagance, but I can't say I've ever seen pink birds serving tea before! ( one of the flamingos cranes its neck down with a menu in its mouth, placing it on the table in front of them. ) Which blend do you think you'll order? ( hopefully there won't be feathers in the tea pot ... )
no subject
[ She places her order with the flamingo waiter and it makes a soft honking noise before walking off to the plap plap of webbed feet. ]
Good quality tea is actually incredibly expensive, so more often than not I'll just find a patch of wild mint or lemon balm. Sometimes even rose petals or lavender. It's not quite the same but it certainly satisfies in a pinch.