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July 2022 Test Drive Meme
JULY 2022 TDM
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to Folkmore's monthly Test Drive Meme! Please feel free to test drive any and all characters regardless of your intent to apply or whether you have an invite or not.
All TDMs are game canon. You can choose to have your TDM thread be your introduction thread upon acceptance or start fresh. Each TDM will provide a scenario for how characters arrive in-game that particular month.
Playing TDMs will allow characters to immediately obtain canon items from homes especially weapons or other things they may have had on their person when they were pulled from their worlds! There will always be a prompt that provides some sort of "reward" to characters who complete certain tasks.
Current players are allowed to have in-game characters react to TDMs via the Network or make a log with the prompts. Current players are always encouraged to tag new people on the TDM!
TDM threads can be used for spoon spending at any time by characters accepted into the game.
Content Warnings: Unwanted romantic/sexual attention from a monster, optional sexual themes, optional monster fights, giant insects in 'accidents' prompt.
YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT
I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT
Folkmore has many lakes and streams. You wake up suddenly beside one, the world coming into sharp focus the moment you do. It's sunny, and the sounds and sights are warmly nostalgic for the very idea of summer.
You can sit and relax a while. Maybe lounge in the shade. Let your mind drift, and relax. There's a few people around, some still sleeping and some awakening the same as you, but it's far from crowded here.
Suddenly a shadow falls over you. You turn and are greeted by a monster: it looks sort of like an avocado covered in kelp, with oversized hands and a huge mouth. It also looks like it's entirely made of rubber - even its eyes appear to be only painted on.
This monster waves its arms threateningly. “Gaaaaah!” it says. Its voice is muffled. “Gaahhhhhhhhh!”
Somehow this creature is a lot faster than it looks, and the next thing you know it has enfolded you in its embrace.
“You will be Greg’s bride!” the monster shouts, regardless of your gender identification. It looks at whoever happens to be in your general vicinity. “Who this?”
Struggling, you realise that Greg is stronger than any creature you’ve ever encountered before. You can’t seem to get it to let go of you, and it's rocking against you in such a way that it makes a sound like the soles of sneakers on a gym floor. On the plus side, it doesn’t have any genitals that you can see, so at least it’s not as bad as it could be? Still, desperate times call for desperate measures! “That’s my partner!” you claim before you can think about how stupid an idea that is.
“You bride? PROVE IT!"
Oh shit. Now you’re stuck - you and whatever innocent bystander you've dragged into this have to convince Greg that you're a couple! You could admit to something true about love or intimacy under the guise of it being about the other; Greg’s lie detecting abilities are good enough to call you out on untruths, but not good enough to know who you’re talking about.
Or you could just start making out, I guess. Whatever works.
If you're a terrible actor, Greg will abduct you and pull you beneath the water. You better hope your fake partner will try to rescue you!
If you manage to convince him that you're a couple, he will shed a tear from his unblinking eyes before either slinking away or flying into a murderous rage.
If you choose to fight Greg, either in the water or on land, you will find that he's pretty tough for a rubber monster. Any blows to his back or sides will land harmlessly, and the kelp on his body may grab whatever you hit him with. And that big goofy mouth of his hides rows of deathly sharp fangs!
However you get rid of Greg, once he's gone you will find a trunk shaped like a koi fish. Open it and you will find some canon items from home. Clothes or weapons, maybe. Lucky you!
I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
You don't necessarily have to complete the One I Want prompt to find these koi trunks! They seem to be dotted around Folkmore and you might find them just by virtue of exploration! The trunks seem to mysteriously know who is opening them so you won't find someone else's stuff by accident. There are also some unenchanted weapons sticking out of the ground in random places: basic swords, guns, shields, etc. They have no magic, but they're usable!
But be warned: the second you take one of these weapons, you'll have to use it.
As soon as you have pulled a weapon from the ground, a high whining buzz sounds, swelling in volume as somethings come barreling out of the sky at you. They are short humanoid creatures about three feet tall with the heads and wings of cicadas. They are also wearing human clothes - what sort depends on what part of Folkmore you're in. If you're in Wintermute they might be wearing cute sweaters, but if you're in Cruel Summer they might be dressed like your suburban dad on summer vacation. How cute! Except they have very sharp talons and the sound they make can incapacitate you. Better take them down fast!
Or run even faster.
Content Warnings: Mood altering substances, optional alcohol use, optional suggestive themes.
I LIKE SHINY THINGS
IN DIRTY DREAMS
I LIKE SHINY THINGS
Summer isn't all about getting bitten by mosquitoes out at the lake, or sweating your way up a mountain in uncomfortable hiking boots. For the less outdoorsy types, there's still plenty of fun to be had... and all within walking distance of an air conditioner when the weather gets too humid. Close to Epiphany, there appears a gem of a spa, nestled comfortably by a beautiful waterfall. The lobby is spacious and cool, with a distinctly mid-century modern sensibility. The gentleman working the front desk wears a crisp suit of burnt orange with a small golden fox pin on his lapel. He is more than happy to direct you to any of the spa amenities.
There are massage tables, hot tubs, and steam rooms. You can get yourself a manicure, pedicure, or facial. There's a full salon for anything you might want to do to your hair - maybe it's time for a kicky summer 'do? Any kind of pampering you're after, you can find it here! If you need to lie down, there are even some hotel rooms on the upper levels that you can rest in.
There is also a tea room - all soft pinks and sage greens, with plush chairs in sets of two or more around small round tables. You will be seated with someone else, as the tea room is designed to encourage conversation. The waiters in this delightful space are all flamingos - they move around the room with a sort of gangly grace, carrying trays on their backs or with their beaks. Unconventional, but they seem to have no problem understanding people's orders. Speaking of, what's on the menu? Seems every kind of tea has a different effect...
Black tea hypes you UP! Who wants to stay sitting around with a bunch of birds?! Let's go party!
Green tea brings a sense of great peace and mental clarity. You will find it easy to talk about emotional subjects without being overcome with feelings.
Oolong tea calms you and relaxes you deeply. You might even find yourself nodding off!
Milk tea inspires feelings of affection - whoever you're sitting with now seems like they could be your new best friend. (Or more?)
Spending time in the tea room really does encourage you to open up to other people one way or another, and all the other spa activities tend to put people in the mood to open up a little bit.
IN DIRTY DREAMS
If you tire of such relaxing pursuits but you still don't fancy wandering off into the woods, you could always poke around behind the spa, where there is a smaller separate building. If you listen you can hear loud music playing, carried faintly on the summer wind. Some kind of party? Why not check it out? Okay, so there's a big old 'STAFF ONLY' sign on the side of the building, but you could just wander in and come up with an excuse if someone spots you. Or sneak in through the bathroom window or something if you're that worried.
Once inside it becomes apparent that this building functions as a private club for the spa staff. The interior is dark and wood paneled, lit only by some old hanging lights with warm bulbs. At the far end is a bar, and beyond that the glow of a small kitchen. A few tables are scattered along the walls, but the bulk of the long room is taken up by a dancefloor.
And boy oh boy are people getting down.
The music is so loud that you don't have to be able to hear to feel the beat - it pounds through the floorboards like a pulse. It's a compelling rhythm that urges you to join the throng. Even if you lack any and all natural grace, the urge to dance is strong enough that you can cast off your reluctance. You can even find yourself a dance partner, although you might want to keep it a little more G-rated than some of the couples around.
If you tire, you can hit the bar. The bartender isn't checking any IDs, considering they think everyone present is a staff member. Just don't blow your cover!
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[Trust a fox to make a bad pun. He's still piecing together what she meant.]
Is that why all of this? The eyes, whatever's wrong elsewhere that had you so upset?
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You're a familiar. But, yes, that explains all of the changes. I imagine that you can probably change into some animal form too. Without Keyleth or Scanlan's magic.
[She reaches up and runs her fingers through his short hair, sifting carefully around the feathers. She's always loved feathers, but they seem so wrong in his hair.]
My wings and the aura? They are the Fox's way of tying me to my fate, Percy. I am a Legend. [The last word is said with so much disdain that she might as well be naming a mortal enemy.]
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[There aren't many, thankfully - hopefully it's something he'll learn to repress in the future. For now though, little downy feathers and a few longer ones. He enjoys the feeling of her hands in his hair for a moment before lifting his head to look her in the eyes.]
What is a Legend, then?
[He suspects he knows, but needs to hear it to be sure.]
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[Her voice is filled with as much fondness for him as she feels. It's hard not to be happy, even interspersed with annoyance, when she's with him again. For the first time in a while, she feels whole.]
Legends are supposed to be bastions of good and the willingness to help others. [She gives him a bit of a sardonic smile.] I think there's a joke somewhere in that.
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I don't.
[Leaning back further, he studies her face.]
Sure, you're sarcastic, and you put on pretenses, and you love feeling power, but. And this is a big but. You have an incredible heart, even if sometimes you refuse to see it. You're compassionate, and caring. Self-sacrificing and willing to put aside things you care about for those in need.
[An image of two scared aasimar in chains is at the forefront of his mind.]
Your brother may be a paladin, but you really are a legend in your own right, and deserve to have that reflected.
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Even if there's a flash of selfishness that is grateful for finding Percy that fateful day, she still worries about all of the people that she fought beside for the better part of a week and a child that she was so fond of. There's a lot of truth in what Percy says and what her brother has said many times before, but she can't help but hold her own failures in front of herself.]
This is why I have you, Percy, to remind me of the things that I don't really recognize in myself. [She continues to thread her fingers in his hair until she hears Trinket make a loud sound of alarm.] We should check on him. I'm not absolutely certain that your admirer was alone, darling.
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[There's good humor in his voice, though, as he glances over to check on the bear. Hopefully Greg's not back to declare Trinket his bride or something. That'd just be in poor taste.]
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[She gives him a wink before she takes one of his hands and moves towards another of her three favorite creatures alive. Trinket is no longer sitting near Fenthras and is instead staring at the lake, where a light is striking off of a rather familiar metallic weapon in the water.]
I think we might have found your guns.
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[Wet gunpowder residue is awful. Here he is without a workshop, too... He finds a pointy-enough stick to get started and settles down with Bad News and Animus in his lap, getting a head-start.]
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Percy, why don't you gather up your gear and I can take you to the house where the rest of us are living. You can take apart both of your guns and I will find you appropriate tools to fix them. When we're not out in the open, yes?
[Trinket comes over to where they are and deposits Fenthras next to Vex before headbutting the human in his back. Hi.]
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[His fault for assuming it was all like this and he'd need his guns right away. He straightens, hooking Animus on its place on his belt, and Bad News across his back.
Maybe it's good he doesn't have Diplomacy. If Greg comes back, it'd probably shock Percy worse than the rubbery monster.]
Lead the way, before anymore amorous rubber men show up to take us away.
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Once they're comfortable, she can let him know how she and Vax have been able to find their things in small trickles. She knows that he's better with Animus and Bad News, but without the rest of his gear, it will continue to feel strange.]
I promise to keep you safe from anyone else attempting to have their way with you, Percy. [She gives him a heated smile that promises more when they're alone.] Besides, I'm fairly certain that it's my job to shower my "bride" with affection.
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I'll hold you to both points. Where exactly is home, anyway?
[There's a large forest, and he's looking around, but he can't see houses.
Notably, he hasn't let go of her hand. He may not be into PDA either, but he can tell she needs this right now, and he's not going to take that away, even if it does mean adjusting his stride.]
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Actually, the house isn't too terribly far from here. This is the area called the Lakes, for obvious reasons, but the forest near here is called Willow. There's a lovely community of treehouses in a part of Willow called Leshy, which is where Vax and I moved in. The others, we've just brought in with us.
[Lucky for them both that she's as tall as she is and can keep up without too much difficulty for him. Because she'd rather die than let go of his hand at this point. Normally, she'd just zap Trinket into Raven's Slumber and fly home, but... She just wants to spend a few more moments alone before she has to share him, even with the others.]
Mm, I suppose I should tell you that we're going to be living with another person from Exandria. His name is Caleb and he's a wizard. He's not from Tal'dorei, but he's been there before, so that helps. The other person is named Peter and he's a werewolf. He and Caleb are...involved, I think.
[Not that she gives a flying goblin's ass, but it's always best to let Percy know all the details before shoving him into a situation to deal with it.]
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Only once she pulls away will he speak, a little breathless.]
Are they loud?
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When he stops them and steps in front of her, she stares up at him, confusing on her face until he begins kissing her. She slides her arm around his neck and leans into his body, losing herself into the passion he's showing her. Trinket ignores them both and continues on his way back to the house. They'll catch up.
She pulls away, still feeling a little dazed but it's obvious how happy she is to be with him.]
No louder than Vax and Keyleth, I suppose. [She gives him a saucy look.] Why? Do you plan on changing that?
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[He can't keep the smile off his face either. It's hard to say how he'd cope without her, but he's glad to not be alone. He's never been at his strongest alone.]
Let's get there before Trinket finds a beehive.
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I think we can trust Trinket to behave himself. Especially since you don't intend on doing so.
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[He keeps up fairly easily, then looks up... and up... and up at the house.]
Well, that's a little... unusual.
[He's not sure how he'll make a workshop here.]
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Don't worry, darling. This is only temporary. It's slightly bigger than the apartment that Vax and I lived in when we arrived, but we have discovered that there might be a chance that we can purchase a replica of Greyskull Keep here as well.
[It's not Whitestone Castle, and for that she's sorry, but Greyskull is theirs as much as any other building possibly could be.]
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Hopefully from before a certain group of bards came to stay.
[He doesn't name names. Doesn't want to or need to. They raided his workshop, though, and for that they have earned his ire.]
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I'm not certain, but whatever is missing, I would be more than willing to try and help you either recreate or replace as much as I can, Percy.
[She knew he took that personally, but so did they all.]
It's still something that we have to save for, and Vax and I only learned that we could do this recently, so maybe we can try to get the Keep in the condition it was in before then. If not, we'll just have to replace what's missing. Sadly, we don't have Laina and Erwen here, so I've been forced to make sure that the others are keeping up after themselves for the time being.
[Something tells her, however, that Caleb has been having Schmidt do all the extra work though.]
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As for saving... Is this something you need help with, or am I to leave it in your capable hands?
[He knows how she feels about money, and how he feels about it, don't always align.]
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As for funds... It's not quite the same as on Exandria. Lore is much easier to acquire than going out and killing monsters and dragons for gold and platinum. We're generating it now as we speak. [She strokes his face gently. She appreciates that he's willing to help her with money, considering their philosophies about money are rather antithetical on a good day.] Come, let me show you the house.
[She gives him a very pointed look.] Especially our room.
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Their room... he supposes they -have- gotten that far, haven't they? He hasn't shared a room since the nursery, outside of a few hostels during his darker interim years, when he actually had a little change to get off the streets. It was never like this. For one, the hostels had fleas.
Though if Trinket's involved, that point might not be too different, depending on how on top of grooming Vex stays with him distracting her.
And how distracting he hopes to be, sharing a room like this. How forward she is, he thinks, and how receptive he!]
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In which Percy is naughty.
It was bound to happen