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Entry tags:
July 2022 Test Drive Meme
JULY 2022 TDM
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to Folkmore's monthly Test Drive Meme! Please feel free to test drive any and all characters regardless of your intent to apply or whether you have an invite or not.
All TDMs are game canon. You can choose to have your TDM thread be your introduction thread upon acceptance or start fresh. Each TDM will provide a scenario for how characters arrive in-game that particular month.
Playing TDMs will allow characters to immediately obtain canon items from homes especially weapons or other things they may have had on their person when they were pulled from their worlds! There will always be a prompt that provides some sort of "reward" to characters who complete certain tasks.
Current players are allowed to have in-game characters react to TDMs via the Network or make a log with the prompts. Current players are always encouraged to tag new people on the TDM!
TDM threads can be used for spoon spending at any time by characters accepted into the game.
Content Warnings: Unwanted romantic/sexual attention from a monster, optional sexual themes, optional monster fights, giant insects in 'accidents' prompt.
YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT
I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT
Folkmore has many lakes and streams. You wake up suddenly beside one, the world coming into sharp focus the moment you do. It's sunny, and the sounds and sights are warmly nostalgic for the very idea of summer.
You can sit and relax a while. Maybe lounge in the shade. Let your mind drift, and relax. There's a few people around, some still sleeping and some awakening the same as you, but it's far from crowded here.
Suddenly a shadow falls over you. You turn and are greeted by a monster: it looks sort of like an avocado covered in kelp, with oversized hands and a huge mouth. It also looks like it's entirely made of rubber - even its eyes appear to be only painted on.
This monster waves its arms threateningly. “Gaaaaah!” it says. Its voice is muffled. “Gaahhhhhhhhh!”
Somehow this creature is a lot faster than it looks, and the next thing you know it has enfolded you in its embrace.
“You will be Greg’s bride!” the monster shouts, regardless of your gender identification. It looks at whoever happens to be in your general vicinity. “Who this?”
Struggling, you realise that Greg is stronger than any creature you’ve ever encountered before. You can’t seem to get it to let go of you, and it's rocking against you in such a way that it makes a sound like the soles of sneakers on a gym floor. On the plus side, it doesn’t have any genitals that you can see, so at least it’s not as bad as it could be? Still, desperate times call for desperate measures! “That’s my partner!” you claim before you can think about how stupid an idea that is.
“You bride? PROVE IT!"
Oh shit. Now you’re stuck - you and whatever innocent bystander you've dragged into this have to convince Greg that you're a couple! You could admit to something true about love or intimacy under the guise of it being about the other; Greg’s lie detecting abilities are good enough to call you out on untruths, but not good enough to know who you’re talking about.
Or you could just start making out, I guess. Whatever works.
If you're a terrible actor, Greg will abduct you and pull you beneath the water. You better hope your fake partner will try to rescue you!
If you manage to convince him that you're a couple, he will shed a tear from his unblinking eyes before either slinking away or flying into a murderous rage.
If you choose to fight Greg, either in the water or on land, you will find that he's pretty tough for a rubber monster. Any blows to his back or sides will land harmlessly, and the kelp on his body may grab whatever you hit him with. And that big goofy mouth of his hides rows of deathly sharp fangs!
However you get rid of Greg, once he's gone you will find a trunk shaped like a koi fish. Open it and you will find some canon items from home. Clothes or weapons, maybe. Lucky you!
I HATE ACCIDENTS, EXCEPT...
You don't necessarily have to complete the One I Want prompt to find these koi trunks! They seem to be dotted around Folkmore and you might find them just by virtue of exploration! The trunks seem to mysteriously know who is opening them so you won't find someone else's stuff by accident. There are also some unenchanted weapons sticking out of the ground in random places: basic swords, guns, shields, etc. They have no magic, but they're usable!
But be warned: the second you take one of these weapons, you'll have to use it.
As soon as you have pulled a weapon from the ground, a high whining buzz sounds, swelling in volume as somethings come barreling out of the sky at you. They are short humanoid creatures about three feet tall with the heads and wings of cicadas. They are also wearing human clothes - what sort depends on what part of Folkmore you're in. If you're in Wintermute they might be wearing cute sweaters, but if you're in Cruel Summer they might be dressed like your suburban dad on summer vacation. How cute! Except they have very sharp talons and the sound they make can incapacitate you. Better take them down fast!
Or run even faster.
Content Warnings: Mood altering substances, optional alcohol use, optional suggestive themes.
I LIKE SHINY THINGS
IN DIRTY DREAMS
I LIKE SHINY THINGS
Summer isn't all about getting bitten by mosquitoes out at the lake, or sweating your way up a mountain in uncomfortable hiking boots. For the less outdoorsy types, there's still plenty of fun to be had... and all within walking distance of an air conditioner when the weather gets too humid. Close to Epiphany, there appears a gem of a spa, nestled comfortably by a beautiful waterfall. The lobby is spacious and cool, with a distinctly mid-century modern sensibility. The gentleman working the front desk wears a crisp suit of burnt orange with a small golden fox pin on his lapel. He is more than happy to direct you to any of the spa amenities.
There are massage tables, hot tubs, and steam rooms. You can get yourself a manicure, pedicure, or facial. There's a full salon for anything you might want to do to your hair - maybe it's time for a kicky summer 'do? Any kind of pampering you're after, you can find it here! If you need to lie down, there are even some hotel rooms on the upper levels that you can rest in.
There is also a tea room - all soft pinks and sage greens, with plush chairs in sets of two or more around small round tables. You will be seated with someone else, as the tea room is designed to encourage conversation. The waiters in this delightful space are all flamingos - they move around the room with a sort of gangly grace, carrying trays on their backs or with their beaks. Unconventional, but they seem to have no problem understanding people's orders. Speaking of, what's on the menu? Seems every kind of tea has a different effect...
Black tea hypes you UP! Who wants to stay sitting around with a bunch of birds?! Let's go party!
Green tea brings a sense of great peace and mental clarity. You will find it easy to talk about emotional subjects without being overcome with feelings.
Oolong tea calms you and relaxes you deeply. You might even find yourself nodding off!
Milk tea inspires feelings of affection - whoever you're sitting with now seems like they could be your new best friend. (Or more?)
Spending time in the tea room really does encourage you to open up to other people one way or another, and all the other spa activities tend to put people in the mood to open up a little bit.
IN DIRTY DREAMS
If you tire of such relaxing pursuits but you still don't fancy wandering off into the woods, you could always poke around behind the spa, where there is a smaller separate building. If you listen you can hear loud music playing, carried faintly on the summer wind. Some kind of party? Why not check it out? Okay, so there's a big old 'STAFF ONLY' sign on the side of the building, but you could just wander in and come up with an excuse if someone spots you. Or sneak in through the bathroom window or something if you're that worried.
Once inside it becomes apparent that this building functions as a private club for the spa staff. The interior is dark and wood paneled, lit only by some old hanging lights with warm bulbs. At the far end is a bar, and beyond that the glow of a small kitchen. A few tables are scattered along the walls, but the bulk of the long room is taken up by a dancefloor.
And boy oh boy are people getting down.
The music is so loud that you don't have to be able to hear to feel the beat - it pounds through the floorboards like a pulse. It's a compelling rhythm that urges you to join the throng. Even if you lack any and all natural grace, the urge to dance is strong enough that you can cast off your reluctance. You can even find yourself a dance partner, although you might want to keep it a little more G-rated than some of the couples around.
If you tire, you can hit the bar. The bartender isn't checking any IDs, considering they think everyone present is a staff member. Just don't blow your cover!
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[ peter's hand slips into caleb's without pause, twining their fingers. ]
Oh, well, if we're going home anyway, sure. I'm guessing Caleb has mostly filled you in? Everyone's from different places, times, whatever blah blah? I'm the only one who's not from your world in the house. Our magic is way more subtle.
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[He thinks it through, though. If Vex is from a different time... He hopes he hasn't made too many blunders, here or there.]
Where are you from then, Peter? And Caleb, for that matter.
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Wildemount. [Which is a broad answer.] Originally I'm from the Zemni fields, in the heart of the Dwendalian Empire, though these days my travels take me all over the continent. You're from Tal'Dorei as well?
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[ percy can practically watch peter tune out of the 'exandria' portion of this conversation. ]
Someplace nobody in the house has heard of. We just call it Earth. We don't have stuff like provable gods or wizard magic. Most people are just people.
[ he pauses for a moment. ]
And I'm gonna tell you now, cause it's only fair. There are a lot of guns where I come from, and I fuckin' hate them. Had too many pointed at me and mine by too many assholes. Vex trusts you and she's not an idiot, so I'm gonna trust that you're not an idiot either.
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[Percy's been there. Been possessed, out of control of himself. It shows in the sobriety of his words. He knows what he's saying, what he's asking.]
... I didn't mean to ruin the mood. How far away is the tree house?
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I'm in agreement, and I'd ask the same -- though in my case it would be spells, not weapons.
[Put him down and heal him later if you can. It'll all work out. Probably. But he shakes his head.]
Not far at all know. You can see the start of the neighborhood just up ahead. [He gestures, and some of the trees are indeed home to elaborate houses. Theirs is a bit further in.]
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Yeah. I can agree to that. Goes for you too.
[ peter's never been possessed, but he has lost himself to the murderous version of a werewolf, the vargulf. he's equally solemn in his response. then he smiles and waves a hand. ]
Nah, not a mood killer. I wanted to get that out of the way before you get dragged off so Vex can climb you like a tree. It's a nice house. Quiet out here, and not far from the lake.
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[He grins softly to himself, stretching. It feels good to be free from threats, for once. To have a place to be in a peaceful neighborhood, to not have an immediate world-ending cataclysm on every horizon. He could almost sing. He does hum, tuneless and quiet. Just scales, arpeggios. He stops when he catches himself, though.]
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The next moment he's snorting at Percy's reply. All right, well-played.]
There we are. That one just there. I'm not sure who is home, but this is it. We can always make a call. [Relics are weird things, Percy. It's the sending spell packaged with bonus games and functionality and now word limit. He notices the humming though. Hm. Cute. Unexpectedly cute.]
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he actually laughs at percy's quip. ]
Definitely getting why she likes you. If sukarni's not here, is it considered an act of cruelty to surprise her when she walks in? One hand, I want to see her face. Other hand, I want to keep my balls.
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[He's been wondering what the rectangle in his pocket was. He pulls out his relic and stares at it for a moment.]
This is an odd device. Is this for... calling people?
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I think better we tell her sooner rather than later. So we can all keep our very important appendages.
[Just saying. He nods at Percy's question.]
It is yes, specific people, or sending a message for everyone at large. It's a very useful machine, once you get the hang of it.
[Caleb has been fiddling with his consistently to try to get a grasp of how to use it properly.]
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[ a thing peter actually knows! he pulls out his own relic and gives a super basic demo of how to call someone using voice or video. they can worry about qwerty later. ]
So you can call her yourself, if you want.
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[It's a breach of his privacy if EVERYONE knows "Vex's Percy" is here, after all.]
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[He fishes out his relic as well and pulls up the list of people he's saved. It's a short list, but Vex is on it. He holds it up so that Percy can copy it.
Is there a way to share contacts? Probably. Does Caleb know how to do that yet? No, no he does not.]
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There, at least you've got the vital ones now. Go for it. We'll go inside, even if I really wanna hear her reaction.
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[He's joking... mostly. But he does tap at her name on the screen under the call icon, trying to figure out this new technology.
Of course, this leads to premature communication.]
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[Caleb agrees before admitting, amusement very plain in his voice.] I'm very interested in her reaction too.
[He tilts his head as he hears the faint sounds of Percy's relic already trying to connect. Oh, oh dear.] Don't worry, it happens to everyone.
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[ not that caleb's wrong about percy being a smart man, to want witnesses. peter leans in, putting his chin on caleb's shoulder. if he had popcorn, he'd probably be eating it, but this is almost as good. ]
I hope she remembers to bring Trinket home, if he's out and about.
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[It's always been him, his girlfriend, and her 600 pound 8-foot grizzly bear, after all. He's just glad Trinket's not a lap bear, at least to him. Or a bed-sharer, most of the time.
Meanwhile, the screen displays his apparent username - Bearsbadnews - and is still doing first-time connection things, but the call will go through soon enough.]
Voice | Un: Lady Ranger
She stabs viciously at the accept call icon and snaps.]
"I'm not sure who you are, but if this is some sort of joke, I will find you. You will not like it when I do."
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No joke, sukarni. We wouldn't fuck around with anything like this. We're at the house. Me and Caleb and Percy.
Voice: UN: Bearsbadnews
[He clears his throat.]
Hello Vex and I am pre-emptively sorry. I didn't know you were here.
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[Caleb assures from the sideline.]
We've just found him and told him you were here. There was a minor incident with a noisy swarm, but he is no worse for the wear and well-armed. All is well.
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Percy? Is it really you?
[She still doesn't sound completely sure. She might trust Peter and Caleb, but there have been too many times where someone has attempted to fool them. She has to be sure. It's too damn important.]
Tell me what we talked about before we left Draconia.
[He'd know. And it's just innocent enough that she'd be okay with letting Peter and Caleb overhearing it.]
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