[He trembles quietly against them, burrowing close, his fingers curling into their feathers. It's a similar sort of desperation, wanting to be normal, not knowing how to be after something like that. He thought he'd feel better, or at least unburdened, and maybe to some degree he is. But at the same time, this feels worse. He's made Rue feel worse. This is exactly what he's wanted to avoid this whole time. If they hug him too tightly, he offers no complaint. He'd rather be smothered in love than not held at all. He didn't ruin things, they'll still hold him.]

I'm- [sorry, is of course what he means, but they've hushed him, so he hushes. No apology. ...One more apology, rebelliously.] I'm sorry. I wasn't... doing so good, then. [Incredible understatement.] Everyone died that day... back home. And then I was in the past, and they were alive again... I-I thought, maybe we'd be okay. But it wasn't them. And then to lose Leo, I- [He shakes his head.] I was so tired... of losing everyone... why was it always me who got left behind...?